Pain in the hole housemates

Cucking Funt

I've lived with my fair share, my current flatmate has his girlfriend over 7 nights a week and shes a real pain in the bollix, cosying up on the sofa preventing me from watching anything, plus shes a clingy fcuker as well, reading the fellas texts and going through his facebook messages. Anyway, who is the biggest gob you've lived with?

ciano1

I think you should poo all over the apartment. That'll learn 'em

Sir Osis of Liver.

Yeah ,crap everywhere.
He'll probably clean it up for you.
Tis all the go lately.

wazky

Write a strongly worded message expressing your concerns with chicken blood in the kitchen, should clear the air.

Stavros Murphy

Housemates.? Fcuk off. It's my house. Get yer own.

Cucking Funt

Did cucking funt ask for your advice? No. But you took the initiative and gave it to me anyway. Please continue on how I can make their lives a misery

michael999999

Text him telling him what a bitch she is. Then sit back and wait for her to read it!

Mint Sauce

So OP, is it your house mate or his girlfriend you have the problem with?

Cucking Funt

Mint Sauce wrote: »

So OP, is it your house mate or his girlfriend you have the problem with?

The girlfriend, you strongly scented find herb

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

Hande hoche!

Go for a threesome. Get some nice awkward sexual tension going.

Mint Sauce

Cucking Funt wrote: »

The girlfriend, you strongly scented find herb

So the housemate, he's not the pain in the hole then?

PizzamanIRL

Cucking Funt wrote: »

Did cucking funt ask for your advice? No. But you took the initiative and gave it to me anyway. Please continue on how I can make their lives a misery

Ouck fff

Cucking Funt

Mint Sauce wrote: »

So the housemate, he's not the pain in the hole then?

Youre an inquisitive herb, by proxy hes a knob.



My my, why does every solution involve excrement?

Me thinks that someone has re-reged and could have a very short shelf life.

Crann na Beatha

This post has been deleted.

Cucking Funt

Phoenix wrote: »

You could interchange with cum I suppose....

apples and oranges

Cucking Funt

Deleted User wrote: »

Me thinks that someone has re-reged and could have a very short shelf life.

Gooby pls

RobbingBandit

Just view a load of really weird porn on his phone and don't clean the browser. Then sit back and enjoy the show.

yawhat!

Walk around in a mankini and start licking her shoes. Its sure to freak her out that she'll never come back.

Or just flick poo balls at her or make poo tea or just smear it all over her face. There is plenty of ways to get rid of her. Be imaginative!

shruikan2553

RobbingBandit wrote: »

Just view a load of really weird porn on his phone and don't clean the browser. Then sit back and enjoy the show.

Or change your name on his phone to something a bit more female and send him pictures and tell him how much you enjoyed the other night.

syklops

shruikan2553 wrote: »

Or change your name on his phone to something a bit more female and send him pictures and tell him how much you enjoyed the other night.

That ought to do it.

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo

Cucking Funt wrote: »

I've lived with my fair share, my current flatmate has his girlfriend over 7 nights a week and shes a real pain in the bollix, cosying up on the sofa preventing me from watching anything, plus shes a clingy fcuker as well, reading the fellas texts and going through his facebook messages. Anyway, who is the biggest gob you've lived with?

Does she not wear a bra in the mornings? Does she have friends that drink too much with self esteem issues? Can you hear them doing the rumbley tumbley?

Every cloud my friend, every goddam muthafacking cloud.

orangesoda

My current flatmate has his girlfriend over 4 nights a week and she sleeps here, she stays here more than yhe other official flatmate does, she has the nerve to use the shower and cook in the kitchen as well the tramp of a thing, they do quare riding as well

Cucking Funt

orangesoda wrote: »

My current flatmate has his girlfriend over 4 nights a week and she sleeps here, she stays here more than yhe other official flatmate does, she has the nerve to use the shower and cook in the kitchen as well the tramp of a thing, they do quare riding as well

Is she a thick mare too? I feel your pain

orangesoda

Cucking Funt wrote: »

Is she a thick mare too? I feel your pain

I couldn't tell you but she sure loves the riding, all 10 minutes of it

Captain Hman

my housemate is in college is a psycho who hoovers at 8:30 in the party and she's well aware we're asleep at that time

Cucking Funt

Captain Hman wrote: »

my housemate is in college is a psycho who hoovers at 8:30 in the party and she's well aware we're asleep at that time

The Hman in your username defo isnt Hyman if you are asleep by half eight son

Captain Hman

Cucking Funt wrote: »

The Hman in your username defo isnt Hyman if you are asleep by half eight son

half eight in the morning i meant, and i meant house not party haha

Cucking Funt

Captain Hman wrote: »

half eight in the morning i meant, and i meant house not party haha

Did you tell her youd clean it when youd get up? pain in the hole for her waking up to your mess just to get into some jung wans knickeroos

Captain Hman

Cucking Funt wrote: »

Did you tell her youd clean it when youd get up? pain in the hole for her waking up to your mess just to get into some jung wans knickeroos

she doesn't listen to reason, 2 weeks ago the oil ran out for the heating
and me and my other housemate we're gonna order more oil but she said
no because it would cost money even though she brought an electric heater
from home into her room and that eats up the electricity

Cucking Funt

Captain Hman wrote: »

she doesn't listen to reason, 2 weeks ago the oil ran out for the heating
and me and my other housemate we're gonna order more oil but she said
no because it would cost money even though she brought an electric heater
from home into her room and that eats up the electricity

Even if shes a nutjob it doesnt give you the right to trash the place just so you can get toffee fingers though?

syklops

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo wrote: »

Can you hear them doing the rumbley tumbley?

Every cloud my friend, every goddam muthafacking cloud.

There is no silver lining about being in a room on your own listening to another couple doing the rumbley tumbley.

Captain Hman

Cucking Funt wrote: »

Even if shes a nutjob it doesnt give you the right to trash the place just so you can get toffee fingers though?

We don't thrash the place, we rarely ever have people over and
me and my other housemate usually clean up our own messes,
its not as if we're extremely bad slobs

Mickey H

Hande hoche! wrote: »

Go for a threesome. Get some nice awkward sexual tension going.

Don't forget to high-5 your housemate when you're spit roasting her.

And, absolutely NO crossing swords.

Sleveile

"Forget" to flush the toilet and that should sort some of the problems out.

purplecow1977

Bitch of a housemate came back last night with a few pals, all very noisy & loud, I could hear almost every 'conversation' they had. Then they all got into a taxi and left.
Sitting room left in a state this morning - takeaway boxes, empty alcohol tins, drinks spilt on table, bits of food all over couch and CIGARETTE BUTTS! You're not even allowed smoke in the house and she's there 8 months so can't pull a 'I didn't know' line.
I had to get up for work at 7am and was awake for 2.5 hrs. Tried to put duvet over my head and fall asleep but didn't work. Then by time they left, birds were starting to sing!

I'm exhausted. She's a bitch. Thank fcuk she's moving out soon - landlords request!!! :-(

Why are some people so disrespectful & inconsiderate?

Holsten

I've lived in loads of shared accommodation both here and abroad and I've never had any pain in the ass people.

Very lucky it seems.

purplecow1977

Holsten wrote: »

I've lived in loads of shared accommodation both here and abroad and I've never had any pain in the ass people.

Very lucky it seems.

I hadn't until now either! I firmly believe this one came back JUST to create a fuss noisewise & then fcuked off somewhere anyway.

ronjo

Holsten wrote: »

I've lived in loads of shared accommodation both here and abroad and I've never had any pain in the ass people.

Very lucky it seems.

Maybe its because its you?? :pac:

Holsten

ronjo wrote: »

Maybe its because its you?? :pac:

Hahaha, you're probably right!