A bit lost

secondcap

Hey was wondering had anyone any suggestions, marriage broke up last Septmber and we were together over 10 years (i my 30's) have got counselling but some days feel so lost and scared about the future, think back to the good times and think what happened to us? cant think postively, dont hae many friends and the few i have are married now, I think its too eary to date But feel life is passing me by, feel like crying, sorry for the rant!!!

boomchicawawa

So sorry to hear about your breakup which must have been traumatic for you. Have you given yourself time to come to terms with this yet? You mention counselling so hopefully you have discussed your thoughts there and have received support etc. But if you're still raw it's probably not a good idea to go headlong into some crazy scheme to take your mind off things. Sometimes you need to just hibernate and take stock of where you are in life...your career, family or other commitments.

If you are missing companionship, that's another matter. There are plenty of others out there in the same situation,but you may not be up to the pub scene or internet dating yet.... I would suggest you throw yourself into something that you have previously enjoyed, an exercise or night course that gets your juices flowing...this will fill your time and also be of benefit to your physical and mental health.

You could also volunteer somewhere, the various charity agencies are crying out for volunteers and you meet some great people in these organisations too. Don't try to run before you can walk though, only you know at what pace you want to move now. I wish you the best of luck for the future xx

Babooshka

secondcap wrote: »

I think its too eary to date But feel life is passing me by, feel like crying, sorry for the rant!!!

Aww it's always sad when something that lasted so long ends, you're only human, and this will take a while for you to mourn. The biggest thing I'd say to you is, please don't not try to mourn it, allow yourself to feel sad for a while, there's no need to rush out and begin "getting over it" until it's out of your system, you may need to cry a lot, or get angry it's over...there's a grieving process similar to bereavement when relationships end and there's no set time limit, everyone is different.

FYI, I am 40 and only got married last year, I met my husband when I was 34...there's no such thing as too late so take comfort, you may well end up with another life partner (or 3!) before you depart this earth. But take time out to let yourself feel, it's a normal process, and while it's no fun, it's necessary so that when you do move on you're emotionally capable of connecting with someone else....don't be in a hurry, you could actually delay your own healing by doing that and it'll take longer than it would if you'd let yourself grieve, very best of luck - B

Merkin

You need to expand on your social circle. Join some clubs or a sports team and take part in events. It sounds like you are a little bit at sea without a network of people to help keep you amused and busy.

I see www.meetup.com recommended a lot here so that might be a good place to start - attend a meet up around one of your areas of interest and hopefully that will occupy some of your time and introduce you to new people and experiences and will hopefully help you to have some fun!