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Any advice on how to get out of house.

  • 05-02-2014 10:31am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Can someone give me advice on ways to live on my own? I have below 450 euro in the bank, no job and I am in final year of college. I am a 20 year old male.

    At this stage I think I'd be happy to drop out of college and go on the dole.

    I could post some of the situations that are causing the problems, but I'd be afraid people would guess who this is.

    Suffice to say that it's going to get to a stage where me and one of my parents will have a physical confrontation. My mother hits me and I won't hit back, but if my father hits me I'm afraid I'll lost my temper.

    To get a little bit venty and depressing, I have no friends and I'm afraid that if I go into college today, I'll start crying or just not come home. (not suicidal, just don't want to leave without a plan). And I have no classes so I'll be stuck with nothing to do

    So, any of ye old folks able to offer some advice?

    Rewrite: I realise the most obvious answer is to get a job. I also realise that a part of me is just venting and knows I'm stuck in this house (and that I'm being purposely dramatic with the latter half of that sentence). So, lets take the worst case scenario and say the world is barren of any job for this troubled twenty year old.


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    If you are in your final year, you only have a few months left, so please don't give up college at this stage.

    Can you find a part time job to earn some money to move out of home - do you know of any cheap house shares you could move into? Or would a relative take you in until you finish college?

    Please finish college and use your qualification to find a job & move out of home, even if you have to move abroad for a while.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,656 ✭✭✭✭Tokyo


    At this stage I think I'd be happy to drop out of college and go on the dole.

    You have less than six months left in getting your degree - please don't walk away now and waste all of the work you have done already.
    Suffice to say that it's going to get to a stage where me and one of my parents will have a physical confrontation. My mother hits me and I won't hit back, but if my father hits me I'm afraid I'll lost my temper.

    You don't have to have to wait for something to come up before you leave the house - get out, even if it's just to go for a walk and get some fresh air. I find that it helps me a lot in these situations.
    To get a little bit venty and depressing, I have no friends and I'm afraid that if I go into college today, I'll start crying or just not come home. (not suicidal, just don't want to leave without a plan). And I have no classes so I'll be stuck with nothing to do

    Go for a walk, as I said, go grab a movie and something to eat. Or grab a good book, find a cosy coffee shop or pub, and sit down with a book and a drink. Doesn't really matter what it is, just take some time to yourself away from the house. Sounds like you are suffering a bit from cabin fever and it can be hard to break that cycle.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,230 ✭✭✭Merkin


    I am in final year of college. I am a 20 year old male.

    For goodness sake don't drop out now. Your degree is potentially your meal ticket to getting out of there full time. Having no qualifications makes you less employable and consequently less likely to be self sufficient. If I were you I'd throw all my energy into completing my degree and getting good marks. Spend as much time out of the house as possible, stay in the university library and keep your head down, eat your meals outside of home and just use your homeplace as a very temporary base where you can put your head down to sleep at night until you're in a (better) position to get the hell out.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,695 ✭✭✭December2012


    Contact your college counsellor / advisors if you can. They might be able to direct you where to go re searching for housing / grant


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 88 ✭✭Snowshower


    You say your mother hits you....why? Is she taking her own fustrations out on you or what? As a mother to 20 plus year olds, can't imagine hitting them...doesn't sound right.

    Please finish college, you will regret it for the rest of your life if you don't. It's hard enough for young people to get a job in Ireland or abroad with a degree and without one forget it.

    Good luck


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,981 ✭✭✭ElleEm


    Contact your college counsellor / advisors if you can. They might be able to direct you where to go re searching for housing / grant

    Follow this advice, OP. Go to your student union/ student welfare and find out if they can help you with anything (whether it is finances, college accommodation or supported lodging options). Just for yourself, maybe try to join some clubs or societies in college, or use Meetup.com just to get you out of the house so much.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 59 ✭✭Rubylolz


    Oh please don't drop out you will regret it for your life... Stick it out for 6 months an have your degree behind you... then you can up an leave an do whatever you want to do! ...


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 257 ✭✭mary55


    Rubylolz wrote: »
    Oh please don't drop out you will regret it for your life... Stick it out for 6 months an have your degree behind you... then you can up an leave an do whatever you want to do! ...
    Agree with thus don't leave college u need your qualifications to get a job. After all the work you have put into it to leave now b a complete
    waste.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1 MrsGrumio


    I know how you're feeling, I'm 19 and I'm having a bit of a crappy year myself as a matter of fact... I'm in quite a difficult situation too, and it can be hard to talk about it because I know nobody who's in the same position as me... Makes it a bit lonely at times! If you'd ever just like to have a chat or anything I'm happy to hear you out :) Send me a PM if you're interested


  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Home & Garden Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 22,430 CMod ✭✭✭✭Pawwed Rig


    Just use your home to sleep in. Stay in college until late. As you are in your final six months I would guess you are studying long hours at this point anyway.
    Take up a sport like running that you can do everyday. Set goals for yourself. Join the college club. You don't need to be competative.
    Do you have any interests? If not think of something and invest time in it. Where you have an abusive mother it is better not to be at home as much as possible but quitting your degree will crystalise your economic situation as it is now.


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  • Administrators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 14,907 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    MrsGrumio, welcome to Boards.ie and to the Personal Issues Forum. Please take some time now to read the Forum Charter before posting again. Encouraging a Personal Issues poster to get into a private message exchange with you is against the rules of the Forum.

    It is not the done thing on the PI or RI forums to ask an OP to pm/msn/skype/email you. This is done for two reasons:

    To protect those from trolls and other possible unsavory people posting on the internet when they may be in a vulnerable state. Threads on PI/RI are monitored by the mods so that bad and dangerous advice is not permitted and deemed unhelpful.

    To protect posters from trolls and unsavory people posting on the internet who pose as a person needing help and advice and so that posters do not end up locked in to a pm exchange with someone they can not help.


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