Advice plz, time to check out

nonameplz

I did a stupid thing and i w want to die.

its that simple really. My life has always been a lonely one. As a kid i was bullied at school. i would come home and then the bulling would start again by my own father. While i remember some of my life i seem to have subconsciously forgotten most of my "former" life. so life has never been good to me but if im honest i caused it all. anything bad i did i did my self. i did stupid things like steal one time that made me have to move to England. 5 years later i lost my GF and moved home after a few months. past is past i do stupid things now and again and i end up regretting them.

this time i was playing around with my phone and i accidently send a video of me masturbating.... to everyone in my contacts. cue the laughter :(:(:(:( i know i would laugh too. such a stupid stunt. and now i have to return to work Tuesday and face it. i was contacted by some people about the "video" and told them i lost my phone it wasn't me but that's not something they are likely to believe. i work in a highly sensitive job with an important position.

the conversation i am going to have on Tuesday has been playing over and over and over all week. i have decided to see how the outcome will go on my return to work but i have also come to the final decision to end my life. I have to say since i came to this decision i have never felt at more peace. if played a video game in the past and i was about to be killed i would rather end the game bore i died. My life is not going to be any easiest come Tuesday and this will ruin my life, so i feel i might as well check out.


what makes this hard is i am married and have children, young children. they are young so i feel they will in time move on, i know they wont get over it but i know they will get on with life.

I am undecided if i should do this at home leave a note, or just disrepair and do it. i feel the last way could spare all involved the horror of finding me.

Simple face my life is ruined over a stupid mistake,
Simple mistake or not i no longer wish to live,


I only want a safe fast effective way to die. i don't with to become a vegetable and have to be cared for.

pm or advice is needed

dodderangler

Good god mate. Sounds like your in a real bad way.
I do t think ah is the right forum for it at all.

Ihatecuddles

Oh God please don't do it. I've felt like that before, I've felt so desperate to end things, but I'm happy now and know that if I get into a bad place ill get through it.

Nothing is worth your life, just say your phone was stolen, it wasn't you and stick to it. Laugh along if people laugh, its nothing in the long run.

PM me any time if you want to talk, but please don't take your life. You are so important to so many people.

sopretty

I would stick with the story that your phone was stolen. In that regard, you'll need to back up the story with getting a new phone and obviously not having your own phone seen by anyone.
I always guage life by - would I laugh about this in a year's time? Usually, my personal traumas are pretty down-gradeable.
**** it. You masturbate - who doesn't!! - even if no-one believes your story - at the end of the day, **** it.
Your life is not worth ending over what other people think/say about you ****.

Donkey Oaty

nonameplz wrote: »

i work in a highly sensitive job with an important position....

have decided to see how the outcome will go on my return to work

i am married and have children, young children.

Sounds like there's all to play for.

I'd hang on in there if I were you.

Lenin Skynard

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5a3k2HoBfc

Menas

OP, bad as it may seem now, nothing is so bad that you need to end your life. Hang in there and be strong. Can you talk to someone?
Perhaps call the Samaratins?

Penny Tration

http://www.pieta.ie/

Please contact these guys.

Op, the shame will pass. Don't leave your wife and kids to deal with life without you. They love you.

Chorcai

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=87485872&postcount=1

Contact info here, theres always someone there to talk to.

sopretty

Honestly - try to look at it with a sense of humour. Once it was just you masturbating and not committing a sex crime, then really, you're just doing something completely normal! Obviously, you'd prefer if your mother, father, boss and the bitch from the office didn't know, but hey ho - stick with your defence.
Honestly, if a male colleague accidentally sent similar to me, I would be a little glued to the screen, followed by amusement, followed by complete and utter consideration of said colleague if they said their phone had been stolen.
Good God, I've done worse (in ways) and survived! Though for a week it felt like the sky was going to fall in (seriously!).
This will 'come' and go.
Ya poor divil. Don't be worrying about something like this. Jaysus, it's no grounds to die for!