Help needed with debs

EoghanIRL

In my school it's been frantic recently asking people to the debs. A bit of background info: I'm 17 in March skipped Ty and don't know too many girls in my year that well . That person I was going to ask got asked before I got my chance which I am completely ok about . However today after study ( 9 o clock ) I logged onto Facebook to see I had a message . A girl I have only spoken to once or twice asked my If I would like to go to the debs. So here is my predicament :

Message : hey , if you didn't have anyone else in mind , would you like to go to the debs with me ?

1. Not to sound shallow but I am not physically attracted in any way.

2.i was going to ask someone else but if they say no then i will have run out of people in my year and will have to ask someone in 5th year ( which I don't mind doing because I know more girls in 5th year ) . I guess there is a fear of not getting anyone.

3. If I say no it might be awkward afterwards, but then again we never talk really .

I know you don't have to be attracted to the person you take to the debs but I suppose it might help ? I'm just really uncertain about what to do . How should I make a decision . I hope i don't sound shallow in any way because thats not what I was trying to achieve .
I feel like if I say yes it will be just for the sake of having someone to go with . Also facebook messenger will have alerted her that I've seen it by now so I should give an answer.

I really didn't give the debs much thought until now so I'm bombarded with different thoughts .

Any opinions welcome

JoeyBlo

I absolutely hate that fb feature where it tells the person you've read the message:mad:

anyway, do you have any other friends (girls) who you are even just mates with and could ring now to ask would they go with you? If you could get something sorted quickly then there's no hassle turning her down as you can say you've 'already asked someone and they said yes but thanks a million for asking anyway'

That might sound a bit harsh but if its the case that you said yes to this girl but you're embarassed to be with her or something then that's not really on. Its her debs too and she doesnt deserve that.

sammyjo90

A debs is sitting down to dinner and then dancing and having fun with your friends for the rest of the night thats it. I wasnt attracted to my debs date but i asked him cause he was in my circle of friends.

If you dont wanna go with her let her down gently. And if saying no to this girl ends up with you having no date you'l get over it. Its one night. Like i said you'll be with your friends most of the night anyway

EoghanIRL

I'm leaning towards saying no . Can anyone suggest a good response that isn't insensitive . I know things are going to be awkward now but I just have to be honest with myself.

kittycati

Maybe say you are waiting on a reply yourself..and will let her know..try sort something asap thou as she really needs to know asap..expensive occasion for women and unfair to not reply at all!!

Ham Sambo

Correct me if I am wrong, but are you looking for girls that are only in your school or have you looked outside the school, like friends etc? ok so you are not too keen in accepting this other girls invitation to the debs,. that's cool, but remember to pick your words when rejecting her offer, because as you know asking someone can be a little nerve racking to say the least.

To be honest you don't really have to be physically attracted to this girl to ask her on your debs because as was said before it is only for one night, as you get older you will understand what I mean. Stay safe and have a good night.

Czarcasm

OP you do sound shallow, but that's completely to be expected at your age and within your peer group, so it's at least excusable. At least it's true, you are being honest with yourself. So now you need to be honest with this girl too and thank her for her offer, but you had someone else in mind.

Chances are she won't initially appreciate your honesty, but in time she'll see you did her a favour rather than make it a miserable night for both of you. In other words - she'll get over it.

I was set up with a blind date for my debs, the lads thought it'd be hilarious altogether to set me up with a girl that they figured was, well, "aesthetically challenged". It backfired spectacularly on them though, because I thought she was cute out, and a couple of hours later when all the lads were looking the worst for wear with the long faces after a shìt night, myself and my date were still laughing and joking and having a great time!

I'd love to tell you to take a risk OP, but you know your own mind best, and if it's just not happening for you with this girl, best just let her know asap rather than prolong any drama.

D Trent

EoghanIRL wrote: »

In my school it's been frantic recently asking people to the debs. A bit of background info: I'm 17 in March skipped Ty and don't know too many girls in my year that well . That person I was going to ask got asked before I got my chance which I am completely ok about . However today after study ( 9 o clock ) I logged onto Facebook to see I had a message . A girl I have only spoken to once or twice asked my If I would like to go to the debs. So here is my predicament :

Message : hey , if you didn't have anyone else in mind , would you like to go to the debs with me ?

1. Not to sound shallow but I am not physically attracted in any way.

2.i was going to ask someone else but if they say no then i will have run out of people in my year and will have to ask someone in 5th year ( which I don't mind doing because I know more girls in 5th year ) . I guess there is a fear of not getting anyone.

3. If I say no it might be awkward afterwards, but then again we never talk really .

I know you don't have to be attracted to the person you take to the debs but I suppose it might help ? I'm just really uncertain about what to do . How should I make a decision . I hope i don't sound shallow in any way because thats not what I was trying to achieve .
I feel like if I say yes it will be just for the sake of having someone to go with . Also facebook messenger will have alerted her that I've seen it by now so I should give an answer.

I really didn't give the debs much thought until now so I'm bombarded with different thoughts .

Any opinions welcome

I would say you should say yes to this girl on this occasion after all she picked you over 60+ other lads in your skool? You shud b chuffed that she asked.

At the end of the day you decide. Don't let me r anyone influence your decision. And btw I think for a 17 yr old you've remarkable maturity judging by OP

EoghanIRL

thank you for your opinions.
I am going to say no and that I was thinking of asking someone else , which I guess in reality is actually the truth.
After reading your posts I realised that the debs is just as much her night and if I don't feel comfortable being with her it could ruin her night and that wouldn't be the right thing to do.
I now find myself in her position . I don't see what all the mayhem is about anyway seeing how far away it is. There must still be time to decide .
I hope I have made the right decision. If I go with no date , then I will have learned my lesson. I hope beggars can be choosers
Thanks for everything .

EoghanIRL

My reply :
Hey , sorry for the late reply , however I do have someone else in mind for the debs . Thankyou for asking me though.



Hopefully this will ensure that there is no conflict and I think it isn't insensitive .

Czarcasm

EoghanIRL wrote: »

My reply :
Hey , sorry for the late reply , however I do have someone else in mind for the debs . Thankyou for asking me though.



Hopefully this will ensure that there is no conflict and I think it isn't insensitive .

It's perfect Eoghan - You apologised for being late getting back to her, you were straight with her, and thanked her for her offer.

Best of luck with finding someone to take to the Debs!

Meauldsegosha

EoghanIRL wrote: »

I hope I have made the right decision. If I go with no date , then I will have learned my lesson. I hope beggars can be choosers
Thanks for everything .

Nothing wrong with going on your own. I know people who went to their debs by themselves and had a great time. They didn't have the worry about finding someone to bring and then ensuring they had a good night.

Big Bag of Chips

I'm guessing your debs is around Aug/Sept time? No panic. Sure half the people who have set themselves up with someone might be going out with someone else that they want to bring instead by that time.

No rush. You can ask someone a month before the debs and that will still give her plenty time to organise herself... If she really wants to go that is.

Good luck.. enjoy it.

EoghanIRL

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

I'm guessing your debs is around Aug/Sept time? No panic. Sure half the people who have set themselves up with someone might be going out with someone else that they want to bring instead by that time.

No rush. You can ask someone a month before the debs and that will still give her plenty time to organise herself... If she really wants to go that is.

Good luck.. enjoy it.

Good advice . I don't know what all the rush is about . Someone asked someone and it started a chain reaction of sorts is how it appears.

Update : she replied and told me it's alright.

Ham Sambo

Good lad, Your response was no more of less than I would have sent to her if I was in your position, well done, now get hunting. best of luck.