Anxiety and overcoming

Hanley

I wrote this yesterday as an email, and got an incredible response this morning with people coming back and sharing their stories.

And I know Kev has spoken about it recently too. So hopefully this'll reach out to some people and help them.

Hopefully we can share some stories.

If anyone does wanna talk a bit more about it in private, email me to james@revolutionfitness.ie (don't use PMs cos my inbox is pretty much full)

It's 3.26pm Thursday 23rd January 2014 and
I'm just in the door from the gym.


I sat down IMMEDIATELY to start writing this
to capture my real, unedited thoughts.


I'd a really bad day today. In the grand
scheme of things nothing "bad" happened, but
I felt like I was going to explode with panic
and anxiety.


See I was due to train today, and I knew the
session was gonna be tough. And I ended up
getting all worked up about it.


It all started badly - poor nights sleep, and
I didn't get up until almost 9am (for a
6.30am riser every day, that's a HUGE lie
in). So immediately I felt like half my day
was gone.


I was supposed to train at 1pm. But I got
onto emails late and a few things got in the
way.


Sarah left her purse at home, and I was due
to go into BTs anyway to get nespresso so
said I'd drop it in.


Then I realized I'd no food prepped and that
my pre workout eating schedule was gonna be
destroyed. And I started to get anxious.


So I started prepping food.


I instinctively went to the fridge and
started chopping up a sweet potato into
chips. I have NO idea why, but I felt
compelled to do it in some sorta OCD manner.


I couldn't leave the apartment until it was
done.


And then it was like 12.45. And I realized
I'd been scrubbing the same plate for about
90 seconds.


How the **** did I get from sweet potatoes to
there?

I was in a daze. No idea what was wrong with
me.


Sent a text to sarah making my apologies for
being late and knew I wasn't gonna get to go
shopping cos I was too stressed.


Decided the only way this day was going to
get any momentum was to get moving. Jumped
into the car and dropped her purse into the
office and knew I needed coffee and some
sorta flapjack to get thru the session.


Made it to Kennedy's in Fairview for 1.20pm
(lovely coffee shop if you know it) and
grabbed a flapjack and coffee. And then sat
in my car for about 45 minutes trying to work
up the courage to train.


I can't express how much I was dreading it.
Ever have it that you can't focus on ANYTHING
other than worry itself?


That's where I was at.


Around 2.10pm I made the 2 minute drive back
to the gym (yup... sitting in the car for 45
minutes rather than make a 2 minute drive).


And made a deal with myself that whatever
happened today in the gym happened, and that
I just wanted to get thru the session as
close to what I had planned as possible.


It was going to be a box checking workout and
no more.


...and then something strange happened. The
workout just kept getting better and better.
It was one of my best workouts of the year.
Seriously.


I ended up pulling a 200kg x8 deadlift (no
belt) at the end of the session and not
really feeling at all taxed after it either.


My bench performance (117.5kg 8x3 paused) was
better than last week. And so was my power
cleans and incline benching.


Can't explain it at all.


I don't know what a panic or anxiety attack
feels like. I dunno if I've ever experienced
one (and I refuse to go google it now). But
I'd say I had one, or was right on the verge
today.


And there really was nothing behind it other
than me.


I still can't pin it to a root cause other
than being slightly outta whack schedule
wise.


I just fired a text off to Conor asking him
to take the 5.30pm class tonight on his own
cos I'm still too worked up, but I can feel
myself calming.


The food's there ready to be eaten, a quick
shake to go down before hand.


I now have about 3 hours to just relax and
unwind, and try to collect my thoughts.


So what's the take home?


Well, I'm not perfect. I definitely have my
own mental battles to face, and sometimes
they get the better of me.


When you're faced with a perceived
insurmountable struggle, sometimes the first
thing you have to do is just start moving
forwards. One step (get in the car)


One you've got a bit of momentum going, take
the next step (fuel up).


And then just hang on for the ride and see
what happens.


It could turn out good. It could turn out
bad.


Or the chain of events you just set in motion
could take off like a ****ing rocket ship and
drag you to a good place you never expected
to be.

Here's the DL;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nn0CxCAzgPw

siochain

Great idea and fair play for sharing. I guess most people who you coach, workout with and even the ones who only know the boards Hanley persona, would say Hanley is the last guy I would have thought would be anxious.

We should all be conscious of the fact that you never can know what’s going in people’s lives and minds at any given time.

What’s helped me a lot on bad days is mindfulness techniques its simple being aware of your emotions and how they are manifesting physiologically. Breathing and talking some time out can help let those thoughts\emotions pass or spot them growing into something bigger that they actually are. Loads of reading and some good podcasts on mindfulness out there.

A good read also is a book called ‘The Chimp Paradox’ by Steve Peters it helps you to understand what’s going on in our brains and why or minds go racing off and at times we spiral into anxious states.

Alf Veedersane

Tony Bates had a piece in the health supplement of the Times each week last year entitled A Year oof Living Mindfully. It was actually a really good read, especially since I was a bit sceptical about it.

Great way of dealing with a lot of things....acknowledging how you feel, accepting it rather than make excuses, and then work through it in a peaceful relaxed way. Amazing how relaxed it can make you.

Hanley

siochain wrote: »

Great idea and fair play for sharing. I guess most people who you coach, workout with and even the ones who only know the boards Hanley persona, would say Hanley is the last guy I would have thought would be anxious.

Well see here's the thing - so did I. First time it's ever really happened.

There's no "persona". What you see is pretty much what you'll get in person too.

One characteristic I like to think I have is a good sense of self awareness, and liek yourself and Alf said the processes outlined are things I've trained myself to do intuitively.

So I can usually recognise what's going on with them. Handling them is another story tho. Just moving one step forward yesterday really helped.

About to cook some grub so will keep an eye on this thread and respond where I can.

Heard the chimp paradox being mentioned numerous times now from different people in different fields so I must get it. Anyone know if there's an audio book?

Alf Veedersane

Is it always possible to do it intuitively though?

I'm not saying it isn't - just thinking out loud.

Writing it down would certainly have helped anyway, I'd have said.

siochain

Yeah it's available on audible.com and maybe elsewhere too.

siochain

Even though your making progress on your lifts it could be your CNS telling you you need a break.

Hammar

Great idea for a thread,
I've lost count of the amount of nights (particularly at the weekend) which I've laid awake for an hour or two thinking about the workout the next morning, how many times I've sat in the car trying to talk myself out of going to the gym, and pulled the car over to the side of the road when I'm halfway there to decide whether i should turn the car around or not.
I've only ever returned home once or twice, on the latter occasions,but its unbelievable,how the feeling just disappears once you start lifting.

Stench Blossoms

Hanley wrote: »

There's no "persona". What you see is pretty much what you'll get in person too.

Yeh he's b@llix here and a b@llix in real life

I went to CBT for anxiety attacks a few years back. Can't even remember my last one but I do remember that god awful feeling of everything closing in on top of me.

Best way I found to cope with them is to just breathe through them, think happy thoughts and then get up and MOVE. Go for walk, go for a run just do something. Don't just sit there moping about it. The adrenaline rush only lasts up to 20min so if you get it into your head that it's going to pass sooner or later, for me anyway it passes sooner.

CL7

siochain wrote: »

Great idea and fair play for sharing. I guess most people who you coach, workout with and even the ones who only know the boards Hanley persona, would say Hanley is the last guy I would have thought would be anxious.

We should all be conscious of the fact that you never can know what’s going in people’s lives and minds at any given time.

What’s helped me a lot on bad days is mindfulness techniques its simple being aware of your emotions and how they are manifesting physiologically. Breathing and talking some time out can help let those thoughts\emotions pass or spot them growing into something bigger that they actually are. Loads of reading and some good podcasts on mindfulness out there.

A good read also is a book called ‘The Chimp Paradox’ by Steve Peters it helps you to understand what’s going on in our brains and why or minds go racing off and at times we spiral into anxious states.

Bought 'The Chimp Paradox' after reading your post a while back.Thanks for recommending it. I've already listened to the audiobook and reading the paperback now. Highly recommend it to anyone that wants to become better at dealing with their emotions.

cc87

CL7 wrote: »

Bought 'The Chimp Paradox' after reading your post a while back.Thanks for recommending it. I've already listened to the audiobook and reading the paperback now. Highly recommend it to anyone that wants to become better at dealing with their emotions.

I havent read the Chimp paradox at all but I have heard the author speak a few times. Not sure if its covered in the book, probably is, but what I've heard him talk about and what I find useful is to just take a minute to think about why you feel the way you do, whats causing it. Physically make a list if it helps and then look at it and see what is on that list that you can control and/or change and what is out of your control no matter what.

If you can change it for the better, then do it, if not you need to discard it and realise worrying about won't change anything, only stress yourself.

I suppose its part of that 80/20 rule really. You can only control 20% of what happens to you, how you react to the other 80% is up to you.