Feel like I'm being forced into staying in this relationship

LegacyUser

I've been with my boyfriend for about eight months. From the start, I knew that he wanted a relationship that was eventually open, and I thought I was ok with this. As time went on, I realised that I'm just not able for it. I've told him this, but he tells me that we'll cross that bridge when it comes to it.

I have mental health issues, and ever since around the end of November, I've felt like he just wanted to use me for sex and emotional support for his own issues. He gets snotty and annoyed if we can't meet up, or if something stops us from having sex. I care about him, but I don't love him anymore and I just want to end this relationship before I destroy any semblance of friendship we may have in the future.

I've never been the one to dump someone before. He keeps thinking that we're going to be ok, but I know in my heart and soul that I need to end this. I'm just petrified that if I end this, he's going to end up in an awful state mentally and could do something. If he did anything, I'd never forgive myself. But what can I do?

Tokyo

He wants an open relationship. He doesn't seem in any way interested in spending time with you. From what you say, he's only using you for sex. I'm not sure how you make the leap from this ending, to him being so distraught that "he ends up in an awful state mentally and does something stupid". Because quite frankly, it sounds like he doesn't give a ****.

The life is being sucked out of you just by being around him. You don't have any love for him. You know in your heart and soul that this needs to be over, now. Seems simple, move on and find someone who does care for you, and is more deserving of your affections. And leave this guy to do whatever the hell he wants. Something tells me you don't have to worry about him being too broken up about it...

Mint Aero

You're not happy and want out? Just end it.

You're not responsible for his mental well being believe it or not. If you care about him, inform him of various helplines should he require one. That's about all anyone can do.

Merkin

YOU should be your number one priority. An open relationship is very hard to sustain and if you have existing mental health issues you don't need that kind of head melt added to the mix.

Dump him and make a clean break of it, you owe it to yourself.

Balaclava1991

TheIncredibleGirl wrote: »

I've been with my boyfriend for about eight months. From the start, I knew that he wanted a relationship that was eventually open, and I thought I was ok with this. As time went on, I realised that I'm just not able for it. I've told him this, but he tells me that we'll cross that bridge when it comes to it.

I have mental health issues, and ever since around the end of November, I've felt like he just wanted to use me for sex and emotional support for his own issues. He gets snotty and annoyed if we can't meet up, or if something stops us from having sex. I care about him, but I don't love him anymore and I just want to end this relationship before I destroy any semblance of friendship we may have in the future.

I've never been the one to dump someone before. He keeps thinking that we're going to be ok, but I know in my heart and soul that I need to end this. I'm just petrified that if I end this, he's going to end up in an awful state mentally and could do something. If he did anything, I'd never forgive myself. But what can I do?

He does not own you. You are your own person. Tell you are breaking up with him and don't call or text him anymore.

If he wants sex and nothing else then he can go find someone else.

That's not your problem.

Dump him right now.

alias06

This guy is using you. By the sounds of it he is also manipulating your feelings and making you think he really needs you and "will do something" if you dumb him. End this relationship ASAP.

Grayfoxy

Mint Aero wrote: »

You're not happy and want out? Just end it.

You're not responsible for his mental well being believe it or not. If you care about him, inform him of various helplines should he require one. That's about all anyone can do.

^ This!

Yes, if you are not happy, end it, stick to your guns when you do and don't let him try and intimidate or convince you to stay. With regards the open relationship thing, if that is something you really don't want to have and he is dead set on it, I would get out as soon as you can, the longer you leave it, the harder it is, also, if you say no, there is the chance he might do the dirty on you.

In terms of his own mental health, this is going to sound horrible, but I have good reason for saying it, you ALWAYS have to look out for number 1, you, no matter who you are with and for what matter of time or type of commitment, at the end of the day, it is YOUR life. Don't feel quilted into staying in a relationship you don't want to be in.