Time on invitation

PCros

Hi all,

Strange one. We are currently doing up our own invitations and our ceremony is at 3:30pm and we are thinking of putting the time as 3:00pm just so everyone is there on time. Is this normal practice just to be sure everyone is there on time?

Ceremony is in the hotel and my fiance will be staying the night before so she will be there on time unlike church wedding where you have traffic, car broke down etc....

January

We're putting the time half an hour before the wedding anyway...

PCros

Ok its tough one though.

Which is worse...for guests to turn up at say 2:45pm and then be waiting there for 45 mins as opposed to people coming in while the reception is on and hopefully not get noticed?

cookiecakes

we put the correct time and everyone, bar 2 people who got lost, was there on time..I know I wouldn't thank someone for making me wait an extra half hour especially if there's a chance the bride won't be there at bang on 3.30.

sawdoubters

put correct time

Meangadh

Put the correct time. It's rude to the guests who are on time to be pandering to the stragglers. I was at a wedding where the bride put a half hour later on the invite and whilst it didn't spoil the day or anything, it did really annoy people.

Most people come at least 10 or 15 minutes early and so then that means sitting around for over 45 minutes waiting for the ceremony to start.

I understand the reasons behind it, but I just think people deserve to be told the right time.

havana

I agree. I think it's rude and unfair on people who make sure to get there on time. They're adults, if they can't get somewhere in time that's disrespectful of them (when there's no valid reason) - don't punish everyone for that.

littlelulu

I would be realy annoyed if a fake time was on the invitation because I am always sitting in the Church at least 15 minutes before hand.

I would certainly remember the long wait.

Typer Monkey

But is a civil ceremony in a hotel a little different to a church ceremony? People will be more unfamiliar with the set up, will need to find the ceremony room etc. I'm having the ceremony at half 3 in the hotel too and was wondering the same thing. I've already been warned that the HSE registrar will start at 3.30 sharp so there's no option for me arriving late. I was thinking of saying 3pm on the invitation and having my fiancé there in the lobby to welcome people and then usher them into the room at 20 past.

I think saying to people to arrive at 3.30 when that's the exact time that I'll be walking into the room is cutting it too tight. If people are very early they can always have a drink or a wander around the hotel. It's not like sitting in a church waiting

stargazer 68

Typer Monkey wrote: »

I think saying to people to arrive at 3.30 when that's the exact time that I'll be walking into the room is cutting it too tight. If people are very early they can always have a drink or a wander around the hotel. It's not like sitting in a church waiting

OP if you put 3pm then people will be there by 2.45. Having a drink and wandering around the hotel is a recipe for them to be late. If you put 3.30 then they know they have to be there by 3.30. If they arrive after that then that's just bad manners! They should leave enough time to find the room same as leaving enough time to find the church.

Arbiter of Good Taste

Why don't you let it be known (by word of mouth) that you won't be late? Unbelievably rude to put a false time.

A lot of people are just looking for something to complain about. So no matter how great the whole day is a lot of people will remember that they were kept waiting.

lazygal

I told everyone I wouldn't be late (can't understand the bride is late tradition myself) but to be sure to be sure we stated on our information page with the invite that the ceremony would begin at 3pm sharp.

Had a few late arrivals but they were of the always late type - so no matter what time they'd have been rude and arrived late. I walked up the aisle at 3pm sharp, just like planned.

I'd be very annoyed, be it a civil or church service, to be told an earlier time. I've been at weddings where a bride has been up to 45 minutes late. We're a punctual family so we'd be well seated 10 or 15 minutes beforehand. To be left waiting an hour would be really irritating.

littlelulu

Ok well if you are there at 3:30 sharp then thats a little different to turning up another half an hour later. Still though I'd rather be told the correct time with strict instructions to be seated by 3:15. I would just get the message across somehow that the ceremony is starting at 3:30 sharp and you would appreciate if all guests were seated by 3:15 so in that sense 3:15 is the guests deadline .

I really wouldn't lie about the time anyway.

D3PO

put the correct time down. Its incredibly rude to put a different time and have people waiting around. if its on at 3.30 people will be arriving at 2.30 its completely ignorant to expect people to hang around waiting for you like that.

Typer Monkey

Sorry OP to have hogged your thread. Yeah I think I'll put a little note in the invitation saying the ceremony will start at 3.30 sharp and asking people to be seated in the room by 3.20 or something.

As an aside ''incredibly rude' and 'completely ignorant'? It's mad what people get so exorcised about! :-)

Teyla Emmagan

Typer Monkey wrote: »

Sorry OP to have hogged your thread. Yeah I think I'll put a little note in the invitation saying the ceremony will start at 3.30 sharp and asking people to be seated in the room by 3.20 or something.

As an aside ''incredibly rude' and 'completely ignorant'? It's mad what people get so exorcised about! :-)

Exorcised? What sort of wedding are you planning exactly?

Punctuality is terribly important to a lot of people and tardiness is therefore considered the height of bad manners. Just because being on time mightn't be important to you doesn't mean other people see it that way.

Typer Monkey

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

Exorcised? What sort of wedding are you planning exactly?

Punctuality is terribly important to a lot of people and tardiness is therefore considered the height of bad manners. Just because being on time mightn't be important to you doesn't mean other people see it that way.

Mee-ow! Hopefully my wedding will be a chilled out and relaxed affair, you know a party? You seem like a barrel of laughs, would you like an invite?

I don't think I'll have clock watching easily offended guests such as yourself but thanks for the lecture anyway

msshono

You'd be surprised how quickly the time getting ready and taking pictures beforehand will fly by. But if the bride is in the hotel and is well organised with hair & make up given plenty of time then can't see any reason why the ceremony will be late starting. I think putting a note in asking everyone to be seated at X:XXpm is acceptable and if they don't make it on time then it's their problem....it happens at nearly every wedding that someone is late....doesn't make it right, but it happens and it's not the end of the world.
I was part of a civil wedding in the hotel recently but the bride was travelling from home to the hotel and was late...the registrar still met her with a hug at the front door and did a lovely ceremony. So while she was wrong to be late (20mins), the couple weren't penalised for it, I think the warning is there so that the all too frequent 45mins late scenario doesn't arise.

Also it's up to the wedding planner and ushers in the hotel to 'usher' everyone into the ceromony room, which they will do.
And even if things do start a bit late and people are waiting, a with a ceromony start time of 3.30pm they certainly shouldn't be hungry and would have had plenty of time to get a good feed in beforehand and given the ceremony is so short and no travel time after to the hotel it won't be long till the can get to eat again....I think hunger is what gets the guests the most when they're waiting round for the various stages of the event to kick off.

mvron

I have to apologise in advance if I make anyone cross - just looking for a bit of advice! Getting married in the summer and on future SIL insistence we put the time on our invitations at 3.00pm, instead of our actual civil ceremony start at 3.30. I believe she had a big problem with guests arriving late to her civil ceremony.
The invitations have already been ordered so we cant change them at this stage. We are requesting RSVPs via email. We're only inviting close friends and family so we know everyone really well. Do you think it's ok to just tell everyone in person or when replying to their emails that the service is actually at 3.30 and we just wanted to make sure everyone got there on time so put the invitation time for 3.00pm? Don't want to annoy guests on the day and I suppose we didn't really think this one through!

Gatica

I don't know why the SIL would have any say in the time of the ceremony.
If you feel like you can tell your family and friends (without a backlash) that actually it won't be starting til 3.30, then do. It's the nice thing to do.

I think suggestions to be seated by a certain time is a better way to deal with punctuality than tricking adults into being there early.