Survival tips

Mrs Garth Brooks

Im thinking of camping out next wednesday night to get my hands on some concert tickets.

Getting them online seems like the easiest option but I dont trust the mobile internet. And i've a slow computer.

Has anyone any survival tips for camping overnight ?

Ush1

Bring a funnel to help with drinking your own urine, works for Bear Grylls.

Gran Hermano

Wear a Stetson.

Sir Arthur Daley

Camp near a subway.

kneemos

Bring a rifle in case of Bears.

Fr_Dougal

This won't end well for you.

Gran Hermano

Rehydration is important in survival situations.
You won't have to worry if it's a queue for the Garth concert as you'll be able to keep hydrated licking windows.

humbert

Instead of camping in a tent, camp in a friend's house. A friend that his first world internet.

Stained Class

Don't leave any food lying around.

Remember; A fed Bear is a dead Bear!

BNMC

Keep your back to the wall.

humbert

Gran Hermano wrote: »

You won't have to worry if it's a queue for the Garth concert as you'll be able to keep hydrated licking windows.

Dubious attempt to make fun of stupid people.

El Guapo!

HardLuckWoman wrote: »

..... I dont trust the mobile internet.

Huh?

It's the same internet. Just........mobile.

P_1

Blame it all on your roots and show up in boots

Sir Arthur Daley

Could you upgrade your internet connection and computer?

illeagles_mcc

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=1514

Jagdtiger

If you dress like a scumbag maybe, just maybe, they might think that you are one of them and not bother you. Also shout at people.


Seriously though, I've never done this, but I'd imaging being able to stay warm and dry are key... So, warm clothes (layers), sleeping bag and black sacks to go over said sleeping bag in case of rain?

c_man

HardLuckWoman wrote: »

Im thinking of camping out next wednesday night to get my hands on some concert tickets.

Getting them online seems like the easiest option but I dont trust the mobile internet. And i've a slow computer.

Has anyone any survival tips for camping overnight ?

Have you played Metal Gear Solid? Can you get your hands on a cardboard box?

Kilgore__Trout

Watch "Surviving the Game", "Cliff Hanger", "The Hitcher"(1986 version), "Transit" and "No Country for Old Men" in case the situation develops into a cat and mouse scenario.

homeless student

Kilgore__Trout wrote: »

Watch "Surviving the Game", "Cliff Hanger", "The Hitcher"(1986 version), "Transit" and "No Country for Old Men" in case the situation develops into a cat and mouse scenario.

you like using that line don't ya?

whupdedo

homeless student wrote: »

you like using that line don't ya?

Get onto homeless student, he'll be able be to sort you out about the joys of sleeping rough

kneemos

A machete for opening coconuts.
Binoculars for spotting prey.
Compass of course.
First aid kit.
A wee dram of Brandy.
Snorkel.
A Bowie knife.
A mirror for signalling.
Three pairs of socks

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy

Camping out to get your ticket?! Pfft, amateur!

Listen to me, you'll need:

Hi-vis jacket

Warm wooly hat

Boots

Yard brush

Arrive on the street 5mins before your local ticketmaster opens. Keeping your hat pulled down low, begin sweeping the street under the feet of the people in the queue, saying "excuse me, outta the way, mind yerself luv"

Time your arrival at the front of the queue with the opening of the shop door. Dart inside. Purchase ticket.

Anyone argues, hit them with the brush.

Problem solved. You're welcome.

Boombastic

I saw on bear grills...if you get cold, kill a cow and sleep inside the carcus, it saves carrying a tent. Also if you need to give yourself a sea water enema, he has tips on how to do a diy version

Hagar the Nice.

P_1 wrote: »

Blame it all on your roots and show up in boots

:eek: just boots?
Poor woman will be freezing.

Artful_Badger

Sleep standing up, that way if a bear/stray three legged dog comes at you you wont faint after standing up too quickly.

Sir Arthur Daley

Fire is the be all and end all when it comes to survival. Not only does it help keep you warm but allows you to purify your water, cook your food and keep pests and other wild animals away. So whether you use a bow drill, an aluminum soda can and a bar of chocolate or even a flint and steel, fire is every adventurer’s best friend.

phasers

hold a mcdonalds cup out in front of you and you could earn enough to pay for the ticket

wazky

Extremities are the first to suffer frost bite OP, tuck your cock into your socks for warmth.

Capt'n Midnight

HardLuckWoman wrote: »

Getting them online seems like the easiest option but I dont trust the mobile internet. And i've a slow computer.

Has anyone any survival tips for camping overnight ?

Wouldn't one send one's manservant on such a menial errand ?


Alternatively you could ask someone with betterer interweb to get the tickets for you.


Othewise get a dome tent because it's a bítch hammering tent pegs into concrete or tarmac

sawdoubters

bring a seat,get there at 7pm you need some one to ho;ld your place to pee

they will only sell 15 tickes at the shop

Sir Arthur Daley

One of those Eircom work tents be very handy for such situation.

Capt'n Midnight

Might be worth taking some blankets in case you need to trade with the natives.

WikiHow wrote: »

One of those Eircom work tents be very handy for such situation.

stick it over a man hole and you won't have to leave the tent to pee

And remember no matter how desperate things are , don't eat polar bear liver it contains a lethal dose of Vitamins.

Sir Arthur Daley

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

stick it over a man hole and you won't have to leave the tent to pee

If it was put over an eircom man hole one could tap in to the internet and take advantage of online purchasing also.

Capt'n Midnight

WikiHow wrote: »

If it was put over an eircom man hole one could tap in to the internet and take advantage of online purchasing also.

Good thinking Batman.

Sir Arthur Daley

Condoms are a must too, in survival situations they can be used to store water, they can hold up to a litre of water which can keep you alive for a day.