Girlfriend Texting Work colleague.

helpme23 · 21-01-2014 1:10am #1

Ok so my Girlfriend is non stop texting another guy who she works with non stop.First I must say that she says he is just a good friend.Thats fine ok.She and him text more than me and her do.This guy is married with a family.Now lately it has got to me to a point I just asked what the hell is this all about.She said they are just good friends who get on.Thats fine.But she then told me that this guy sent her a message with some kisses in it the other night.So I am worried now that there is more to this than meets the eye.This guy must have feelings for her and it I think has crossed the line by a big mark.He has a wife and two kids.And he is non stop texting my Girlfriend.He is in his late 40s so she says why would anything be goin on etc.A bit annoying dont you think.????What should I do now.

Ham Sambo · 21-01-2014 1:50am

I hear ya, It maybe that this guy is flattered that a younger woman is shown an interest in him albeit a platonic interest, however I would be a wee bit concerned with the kisses thingy in the txt messages that he is sending her, you could say to your gf that it is unfair to be sending and receiving all these txt messages as it might appear to her work colleague that it may be leading to something else, that way you don't appear to be starting any type of argument, but at the end of the day only you know your girl.

CaraMay · 21-01-2014 7:06am

So what is she texting him about? That's very weird.

alias06 · 21-01-2014 9:26am

I doubt his wife would be too happy about it.

whiskeyman · 21-01-2014 11:48am

Ask her does she not thinks it's a bit odd?
Is she defensive about it?
Has she ever hidden her phone from you?

It doesn't sound right to be honest.
ask her how would she react if tables were turned... I doubt she'd be too happy!

Lovely Bloke · 21-01-2014 12:14pm

Is she texting him back?

Merkin · 21-01-2014 12:32pm

Has she shown you the texts? Have you asked her what on earth are they texting about?

AnonMouse · 21-01-2014 12:41pm

I find it very strange that work colleagues (with their respective relationship statuses) would be texting each other so frequently. There is platonic friendship and there is crossing a line. Sometimes, one person may not realise what is actually happening, i.e. being come on to, for want of a better word.

Whatever they are texting about, it has created insecurity in at least one of the two relationships at stake. If she has any respect for you at all, she will see this and stop texting this bloke. Surely they have enough time in 8 hours work to say all that needs to be said to each other.

helpme23 · 21-01-2014 2:15pm

Yea all of the above are right it is a bit odd indeed but I know she gets on with lots of guys who she texts as well but the thing is she is with me not them.I am a bit worried to be fair that this guy is non stop texting her and always likes her comments on facebook etc can never stop to like things about watch she does etc its deffo odd to a certain extent, maybe his wife should be told of what is going on.I have asked her the other nite wats going on and she said I dont trust her ????

Merkin · 21-01-2014 2:17pm

What are they texting about though?

CaraMay · 21-01-2014 2:23pm

You are being naive. He is texting her and she is responding. It's not all one sided.

heretochat · 21-01-2014 2:35pm

It seems to be a very odd situation... Right it appears that the married guy is flattered by the attention (at a minimum) and wants more to happen (more likely). But he is not you problem. He has a wife God help her..

You have not clarified whether your girlfriend is showing you these texts or not. If she is I would say you have little to worry about..

I would ask though - with all this texting going on do the two of you communicate at all?

helpme23 · 21-01-2014 2:45pm

No she didnt show me any of these texts she just told me that he sent kisses the other night that he was drunk.Yea she is responding but like i said she text other guys as well and it always seems to be a bit of fun which is in my opinion not that out of place.But with this other guy it is non stop I know if I ask it will cause a big row, and I be left looking like the ****.

heretochat · 21-01-2014 2:48pm

helpme23 wrote: »

No she didnt show me any of these texts she just told me that he sent kisses the other night that he was drunk.Yea she is responding but like i said she text other guys as well and it always seems to be a bit of fun which is in my opinion not that out of place.But with this other guy it is non stop I know if I ask it will cause a big row, and I be left looking like the ****.

If she reacts that way, then I might venture that she has something to hide... Not saying she has for definite just a view. And I would wonder why she doesn't show you the texts she is sending if they are just a bit of fun..

I would not appreciate my OH spending all her time texting other guys if I an honest.... Surely she could spend her time in a better way?

helpme23 · 21-01-2014 2:48pm

She even said to me that he said that she was flirting with another guy at work ,and that to me was very strange maybe there is something going on ha how would I find out for sure I would like to know because I dont want to be wasting my time on her I really like her but if this is the game she is playing no thanks.

Merkin · 21-01-2014 3:04pm

I find it very strange she wouldn't show you the texts to placate you (if they are wholly innocent). What is your gut telling you?

Also, and I hope you don't mind my saying, but from what you've said about her she sounds like the type of girl who just loves attention. Some people just crave/thrive on as much attention as possible, normally people who are quite insecure to start with.

helpme23 · 21-01-2014 3:33pm

Totally agree with the above it is more clear to me that she loves attention and thats why she needs these people texting her all the time just for that.What should I do ????

P. Breathnach · 21-01-2014 4:26pm

helpme23 wrote: »

Totally agree with the above it is more clear to me that she loves attention and thats why she needs these people texting her all the time just for that.What should I do ????

That's her personality, the same personality that attracted you to her.

I don't think you should ask her to be anything other than what she is. The question you need to ask is if, in the long term, you can put up with her being like that.

Pawwed Rig · 21-01-2014 4:30pm

I would agree she seems to crave attention but you must have known that already. You say she texts lots of guys? I wouldn't say that is too normal! Depends on how much she is on her phone but you make it sound like it's all the time.
The fact that she is not willing to discuss it or ease your mind at all tells me she is enjoying the fact that it may be upsetting you.
It definitely does not sound he is the one instigating it. It looks like they both get a kick out of their little secret relationship (assuming his wife is clueless about it).

Big Bag of Chips · 21-01-2014 4:34pm

Only you can decide what you should do, but she is deliberately trying to make you jealous. Why mention that he sent kisses? Or that he said something to her about flirting with another fella at work.

She loves the attention she gets from a lot of males. She also obviously encouraged the attention.. "lots of fellas" don't text a girl without encouragement.. what you have to decide is if you are happy to "share" her with all these other fellas. I'm not suggesting she would cheat on you, but she obviously likes lots of male attention.

If you don't like your gf getting/encouraging lots of male attention then at is perfectly reasonable and understandable... Now you just have to decide what you do if she likes it and you don't.

yermandan · 21-01-2014 4:41pm

Aw man I'd be very concerned.

If my gf was doing this, I would explain to her that it is not appropriate and if it doesn't stop/she doesn't agree that it's inappropriate then I'd be out of there sharpish. He is clearly interested in her and she is playing along. It's fairly simple and the simpler you make it in your own mind, the easier it will be to deal with.

Best of luck

ladygirl · 21-01-2014 4:55pm

Hi Op

There is also a similar (non related) thread active here at the moment about a ladys husband who also is texting his co-worker. From reading both of the threads no one is willing to accept that any of this is harmless fun..

My advise is to nip this in the bud with your girlfriend immediately or re evaluate your relationship with her..

I do not think her behaviour is in any way acceptable and you are well within your rights to question her actions..

helpme23 · 21-01-2014 6:45pm

I know exactly what everyone is saying and I wont let it bother me , I just wanted to know that I am not wrong to ask about this issue in any way and it doesnt make me look like I am wrong to ask which then leads to trust issues.

Ham Sambo · 22-01-2014 2:20am

helpme23 wrote: »

I know exactly what everyone is saying and I wont let it bother me , I just wanted to know that I am not wrong to ask about this issue in any way and it doesnt make me look like I am wrong to ask which then leads to trust issues.

I don't know, but from reading some of your posts it seems that your gf is going out of her way to get some type of a reaction from you.. the texting..the flirting etc, I mean why does she feel she has to tell you she was flirting with a guy she works with, maybe it is totally harmless what she is at, but clearly it is having an effect on you. Sit her down one evening (without her phone) and explain to her what you have stated in here.

Girlfriend Texting Work colleague.

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