Will Woes

LegacyUser

Just venting here. My uncle died last year and made me an executor and beneficiary of his will. Didn't know anything about it until after he died.
He had one surviving sister and she's now very angry and upset about being left out. He didn't have a close relationship with her, she rarely came to see him.
I now have to put his property up for sale to pay his bills and other expenses and have told her she will get something when everything is finalised, doing this to keep the peace. Her son is now getting himself involved and I am just sick of the whole lot at the moment. Any polite way of telling him to keep out of it..

Merkin

11664 wrote: »

I now have to put his property up for sale to pay his bills and other expenses and have told her she will get something when everything is finalised, doing this to keep the peace.

Hold on, are you the sole beneficiary and are going to give the woman something out of the goodness of your heart or has she actually been mentioned in the Will?

username123

11664 wrote: »

Just venting here. My uncle died last year and made me an executor and beneficiary of his will. Didn't know anything about it until after he died.
He had one surviving sister and she's now very angry and upset about being left out. He didn't have a close relationship with her, she rarely came to see him.
I now have to put his property up for sale to pay his bills and other expenses and have told her she will get something when everything is finalised, doing this to keep the peace. Her son is now getting himself involved and I am just sick of the whole lot at the moment. Any polite way of telling him to keep out of it..

Say "Please keep out of it?".

Im not really sure why you are entertaining them at all? And why are you giving her something out of the estate - your role as executor is very clear - carry out the wishes of the deceased. If the deceased wishes were to leave her out, you should respect that imo.

Victoria Fortescue

This is how I would handle it

username123 wrote: »

Say "Please keep out of it?".

Im not really sure why you are entertaining them at all? And why are you giving her something out of the estate - your role as executor is very clear - carry out the wishes of the deceased. If the deceased wishes were to leave her out, you should respect that imo.

She rarely saw the man but the vultures are circling now. Retract what you said to her, because if the man left her out of the will then he did so for a reason. Tell her son to butt out too. Don't allow them to guilt trip you into anything.

I'd agree with the others here, just tell them you're carrying out the will as he wanted. It's his estate and he chose how to have it dealt with after his death. This is not your doing, it's his, and you're just honouring his wishes.

To leave out someone as close as a sister in your will isn't a mistake - it's a deliberate omission. Especially considering that she hadn't seen him in a long time, I'd say he'd prefer for her to receive nothing from your share. I'd certainly like to think that when I die, the people I wanted to leave out will remain left out, particularly if they want to go throwing their weight around over it.

FloatingVoter

Your role as executor is a legal one. Just carry out the details of the will. Tell her she is free to legally challenge it if she wishes to do so. I'm guessing she knows she hasn't a legal leg to stand on - only children and spouses can mount strong legal opposition to a valid will.
Suggest a family meeting be convened after the distribution of the estate. Maybe then an arrangement can be reached to keep her happy.
Also I'd suggest putting this in the legal discussion thread for better advice. (http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=633

ManOfMystery

I have to agree with the above OP. It's amazing how many worms will come crawling out of the woodwork when someone passes on and their money/assets is about to be distributed.

This man had clear wishes about how he wanted his assets dealt with after his death, and as executor of the will you should really stick to them. It's respectful, if nothing else. He left his sister off for a reason, and I guess now you're getting a taste of that reason given that her and her son are sticking their oar in where it's not wanted.

Neyite

Your uncle trusted you to fulfill his final wishes with regard to his assets, and clearly stated what those wishes were.

And now you want to do something he didn't want to do - give his sister something. You dont know why he chose to do this, there could be history that gives an excellent reason why he wrote his will this way. He knew his sister better than anyone.

Stand up to the bullies. They are hoping to wear you down so you hand it over. Don't cave. And don't feel that a verbal agreement needs to be honoured. It doesn't.

freshpopcorn

Honestly OP I think your being to nice to the women and I've seen this happen before to stop family disputes/arguments.
Ask yourself this if your aunt was left everything in the will would she give anything to you? Being totally honest I don't think so. I've often seen people trying to contest wills out of greediness and they nearly always fail/give up.
Just tell her that if her brother wanted her to get anything he would have left it to her.

P. Breathnach

I wouldn't even confront her. Put your head down; execute the will in the way your uncle wanted it done; get on with your life.

denhaagenite

I'm going to echo all the above posts. Myself and my husband made a will for this very reason- not so much that we wanted people looked after (we have no children) but because there are certain people in our lives who we know would cause problems if we didn't clearly specify exactly how we want things done should the worst happen. Shows the measure of a person when they have the gall to behave like that imo. It was as much for each other as for our nearest and dearest.

As executor, you have been trusted with your uncles wishes- I would advise that you do exactly as he wanted.

Mr Boom Boom

11664 wrote: »

Just venting here. My uncle died last year and made me an executor and beneficiary of his will. Didn't know anything about it until after he died.
He had one surviving sister and she's now very angry and upset about being left out. He didn't have a close relationship with her, she rarely came to see him.
I now have to put his property up for sale to pay his bills and other expenses and have told her she will get something when everything is finalised, doing this to keep the peace. Her son is now getting himself involved and I am just sick of the whole lot at the moment. Any polite way of telling him to keep out of it..

You showed weakness by saying she will get something. Your uncle decided against this. You should contact her and recind that offer of "something"

road_high

OP these crowd sound like the classic gold-diggers that surface around wills where they see it as their god-given entitlement to be "left something" by virtue of being related.
I echo the words of everyone here and don't go against your uncles wishes on this. It's not what he wanted so please respect that and respect yourself too.