At absolute breaking point with life

LegacyUser

Hello all,

I'm a long term lurker looking for advice/help/anything.
I graduated with a 2.1 degree in Arts in 2012. I knew from the moment I started the course that I should have dropped out and done Science but at the time the recession was just starting and I thought I would be better off in education than out of it, huge huge mistake.

I've been at war with myself for years over the course, always trying to convince myself that it was worthwhile. However now I find myself on the other side and my worst fears have been confirmed. I just go from part time minimum wage job to part time minimum wage job, never making enough money to save or get out of my current situation.

I've cycled through depressive states since I was 10, and the last two years have been awful. I've been distancing myself from my small circle of friends as I'm ashamed of being such a loser and making nothing with my life. They all did proper or science related courses and all have good jobs while I'm making E1 more than I was making when I was 16.

Its destroying me on the inside and I'm at a loss of where to go next. I feel so cheated, I worked so hard in Uni and paid for everything myself. I worked two jobs throughout Uni to support myself, I never went out or made any friends because I was too exhausted from work/coursework. I cannot remember the last time I felt happiness, I have no direction in life and I feel like I'm wasting my life.

I must have looked at every postgrad under the sun at this stage and each time I find one I think I can do it turns out to be another closed door due to entrance requirements or fees.
I just don't know where to turn at this stage, I'm seriously contemplating just ending it as opposed to living the rest of my life in part time job limbo

Big Bag of Chips

Hi so_lost,

I am approving your post but locking it for the moment. I have contacted turn2me.org who are a verified representative here on boards.ie who are qualified and in a position to offer you the best advice and support.

Posters in Personal Issues are well meaning, but not qualified to offer advice when someone is feeling as low as you are. As result we always lock threads from people who feel they are at their absolute end. It saves a well meaning poster from saying something that might upset you even more.

Please check back to the thread soon, as there will be a reply from someone who can offer you the help, advice and support that you need right now.

There are also some links in the Forum Charter, that you might find useful. You've made the first step in asking for help.

Big Bag of Chips

Hi so_lost, I am just adding an update to your thread. I have been in touch with Eoin from turn2me.org, and we are still trying to co-ordinate being online at the same time, in order for your thread to be reopened so he can post to you.

You can contact him yourself, directly and in confidence at eoin@turn2me.org, if you wish and he will then communicate directly with you via your own email.

There are also a few links in our Charter, that you might find useful. Please don't be afraid to reach out and ask for help. You have already made that first step by posting here. By making contact with someone from any of the links below, you will have taken another step, and will get the help, support and advice that you need to get you through this time.

It takes strength and courage to admit that you are struggling and need a bit of extra help. Please take some of the help that is available to you.

Depression / Mental Health

http://www.irish-counselling.ie/

http://www.dublinsamaritans.ie/

http://www.mentalhealthireland.ie/

http://www.grow.ie/

http://www.aware.ie/

http://www.shineonline.ie/

http://www.recover.ie/ (Schizophrenia Ireland)

http://www.childline.ie/

http://www.teenline.ie/

http://www.pieta.ie/


Suicide

http://www.nosp.ie/ (national suicide prevention)

1Life Suicide Prevention Helpline - 1800 247 100

http://www.pieta.ie/

https://www.turn2me.org/ - registered rep on boards contactable at turn2me.org

Big Bag of Chips

So_Lost - Please find below the reply from Eoin, at turn2me.org.

turn2me.org wrote:

Hello So_lost,

My name is Eoin O'Shea and I am a counselling psychologist working at Turn2me, an online mental health organisation (www.turn2me.org)

A Boards moderator recently brought a post of yours to my attention (as part of a collaborative support arrangement which Turn2me has with Boards.ie). It seems you were quite distressed - I take this very seriously as you must really be suffering quite a bit at the moment.

It really sounds as though your battle with depression has made existing difficulties with your family and finances - not to mention your break-up - even more difficult.

What I would like to say is that we can provide anonymous support at Turn2me should you wish to (a) avail of our support forums, (b) take part in our Online Support Groups which run every day, or (c) use any of the other features at our site.

As part of a programme called 'Engage' (details of which can be found at www.turn2me.org), I would be happy to offer you up to 8 free online counselling sessions which are then combined with at least two of our other services to make sure you get the support and help you deserve - free of charge.

Please let me know if you'd have an interest in this - just so that I can touch base with you and make sure you've received this message - and you can then apply for the Engage programme online by visiting our site.

I wish you the very best and hope to hear from you soon,

Eoin