Making the move

LegacyUser

I have always had confidence issues in regard to women which has lead me to pretty much get no were with them to date. Which wasn't helped by my social circles having little or no females in it.

I have recently been trying to change this by joining clubs and going to meetups. It now seems to be paying off as if I am reading signals right some of the girls paying an interest in me (YAY) only problem is that I don't know where to go from there.

A few examples:

Girl A: Got chatting to her pub after a bit of flirting she followed me and my group into a nightclub. She was then trying to convince me to go on to the dance floor (she was quite persistent) but by then I had sobered up and I get very self conscious about dancing so I said no. She never asked anyone else (even her mates) and after I went to the toilet she had gone home.

Girl B: Bit of flirting going on during the night, then at the end of the night walking home she comes over and locks arms with me and we were on our own for a bit which would have been an ideal time to make a move but never did anything.

How do I go about making a move as I have no idea what to do or when and even if I did self doubt comes in and I thinking I have misread the signals.

StickyIcky

Look at her lips and say your lips are beautiful and I really want to kiss you..
right now...

If she doesn't want you to kiss her she'll most likely move away from you quickly. If she doesn't lightly touch her chin and lean in and kiss her.

The trick is when you think of pulling this move you have to say the line without hesitation. The longer you hesitate the more likely you'll be to freeze up. Count to three and then just say it / do it.

If you freeze up you can always tell her you find her really interesting and before you leave you'd like to get her number or email works even better if you've a pen and paper with you.

ivytwine

Sounds like both girls were expectantly waiting for a move from you!

OP don't be so self-conscious about dancing, sure we all look ridiculous. Go with the flow the next time and just have the craic. It's supposed to all be fun

GreeBo

StickyIcky wrote: »

Look at her lips and say your lips are beautiful and I really want to kiss you..
right now...

If she doesn't want you to kiss her she'll most likely move away from you quickly. If she doesn't lightly touch her chin and lean in and kiss her.

The trick is when you think of pulling this move you have to say the line without hesitation. The longer you hesitate the more likely you'll be to freeze up. Count to three and then just say it / do it.

If you freeze up you can always tell her you find her really interesting and before you leave you'd like to get her number or email works even better if you've a pen and paper with you.

+1
Do things like comment on her perfume and say you want to smell it better, you can do it in a kinda jokey way and judge her reaction.
The tell her you want to kiss her and kiss her.

The closer you get to her face/lips without her moving away the more likely it is that they are waiting for you to make a move.

Also get some physical contact going earlier, touch her shoulder, her knee, let your hands just happen to be in contact, your legs touching as you sit...all of this will help you to know if she is interested or not..if she it moving away then maybe not.

I would say be subtle, believe me, both sexes know when you are accidentally touching each other and feeling a tingle...you dont need big bold moves.

Its a dance between two people, both really want something to happen, neither wanting to make the first move, so you make little moves to protect each others feelings and see where it goes.

Its the greatest part of the birth of a relationship really, so much to gain and so much excitement...its great craic!

LegacyUser

I've always found saying something like that very corny like something you would see in some American film.

GreeBo wrote: »

Its the greatest part of the birth of a relationship really, so much to gain and so much excitement...its great craic!

Yeah, what if I am only looking for one thing with some of these girls? Does that make me a bad person? Do I approach it differently?

GreeBo

Unsure1234 wrote: »

I've always found saying something like that very corny like something you would see in some American film.



Yeah, what if I am only looking for one thing with some of these girls? Does that make me a bad person? Do I approach it differently?

Can't really help you there so chief, homey don't play that way.

I guess its the same thing, just faster progress.

StickyIcky

Generally if a woman is happy to start making out with you and then go home with you (or take you home) basically the same night then it's not going to be serious. Also I find that most girls although they don't wnat to admit it, would be pretty happy some with enjoyable sex because lets face it most of us don't get enough sex. Just keep it casual. Tell her she's hot and sexy instead of beautiful or interesting

It may sound corny to say your lips are beautiful and I Can't stop thinking about how it feels like to kiss them, but if you're looking for a girlfriend and not just a friend with benefit they will appreciate the corny lines as long as you do mean them. Woman can tell when you're just using corny lines and when you're saying something that you really mean (which just happens to sound corny but they won't be thinking that way, they'll be to busy smiling and blushing!)

Another line I would use if I was trying to get a girl to come back to my place is just say "okay okay okay!... fine okay? Fine... You can come back to my place if you REALLY want to, but don't try anything on me okay. I'm not a piece of meat and I want you to appreciate me for my brain and not just my body." I'd use to line too "only if you're still going to respect me in the morning" You can say this stuff towards the end of the night.

I generally start the night by talking about things, finding out about them a little bit, tell them about myself, let them become comfortable around me. I'll just with them and mess around with them. Then I'll start ramping it up and start to tease them and make fun of them a little. Make jokes about how amazing I am at everything. Give them a high five and then act like they hurt my hand and be like damn do you lift weights?? No? Oh no... you didn't use to be a man or anything? Oh okay you' werent'? Phew... thank god I was thinking for a minute I might find something down there I didn't want to find.

You know... know what I mean. Joke and mess around, have fun, play games. Touch her like GreeBo is saying and make excuses to get close to her, especially her face and neck. Compliment her hair, touch it. Compliment her perfume, smell her neck. Compliment her dress, touch the fabric. Compliment her lips while leaning in slightly, tell her how you'd love to know what they feel like, lean in a bit more (does she lean away? no?) okay lean in more and touch her chin lightly and kiss her. Make sure to compliment her kissing skills after.

Most important thing is keep trying until you're comfortable enough with it. Took me a number of failed dates before I felt comfortable enough to joke around and play with girls like that. After a while it' becomes pretty easy to identify if a girl is interested enough to hang around and have you kiss her and stuff.