Thurs funums

MonkieSocks

A novice nun has just begun her tenure in the convent.

The Mother Superior tells her that one of her duties will be to bathe Father Patrick, an aging priest suffering from Alzheimer’s disease who is cared for by the sisters of the convent.

"Now Father Patrick may be old and senile," warns the Mother Superior,
"But he can still get frisky sometimes, so watch out for him."

Sometime later, the Mother Superior encounters the new nun, and asks whether Father Patrick has behaved for his bath.

The new nun blushes and says,

"Well, as I was bathing him, his member became large and stiff.
He told me that it was the Staff of Life, and that I should grasp it firmly."

"Why that old coot!" exclaims the Mother Superior.



"All these years he's been telling me it's Gabriel's Horn!"
_________________________________________________________________

A Duck and a Chicken are approaching an intersection.

The Duck begins to step off the curb, but the Chicken says

"Don't do it...you'll never hear the end of it."
_________________________________________________________________

I ended up with an older woman at a bar last night.

She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old.

In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter.

We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I'd ever had a 'Sportsman's Double'?

'What's that? I asked.

'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.

As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what her daughter might look like, I said, 'No, I haven't.'

We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, 'tonight's your lucky night'.

We went back to her place. We walked in.



She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs, "Hey Mom...you still awake?"