Feeling guilty about moving away

sashafierce

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shanered

Just go and if after.6 to 8 months.your still feeling the same come back sure, that's what im thinking. You sound like you know you have more to offer the world and im sure your family do support your decision by the sounds of it.
Just go with the flow and you'll know what's.right when the time comes.

sashafierce

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stop animal cruelty

shanered wrote: »

Just go and if after.6 to 8 months.your still feeling the same come back sure, that's what im thinking. You sound like you know you have more to offer the world and im sure your family do support your decision by the sounds of it.
Just go with the flow and you'll know what's.right when the time comes.

I was thinking the same, but l guess its a balls if you come back to no job....if things dont work out in canada, have you got any chance of getting a new job here? like whatever your working as, is there many jobs in that sector here?

Its such a tough choice, but l guess from an outsiders point of view, ld tell you to go for it, just because you cant look back with regrets and what if's....at least you'll get to experience it and if you don't like it, at least youve family to come home to....not a job but you might get one in a few weeks or months my advice...go and try it out, not everyone gets that opportunity!

YellowSheep

Please go. It's an opportunity of a life time. If things don't work in Canada. ... Come back home. There is always an opportunity to get work etc.
Life is to short. Go and embrace the challenge.

Good luck. Oliver

YellowSheep

Please go. It's an opportunity of a life time. If things don't work in Canada. ... Come back home. There is always an opportunity to get work etc.
Life is to short. Go and embrace the challenge.

Good luck. Oliver

rainbowtrout

sashafierce wrote: »

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Your job will also be gone if you come back after two years, so it's not like it's going to make much difference. If it's not something you particularly love it probably won't make a difference in the long run and you can look for something else if you come home

Stavro Mueller

sashafierce wrote: »

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If this has been an ambition of yours then you're doing the right thing. Life's full of uncertainties and sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith or you'll never get anywhere. From my limited knowledge of your circumstances, it sounds like you've got a lot more to gain by going away than by staying. You're in a rut, your friends have gone, you're still living at home and you're in a job that's paying the bills.

I'm no expert on employment law so if I'm wrong I'll gladly take out this paragraph. You might be falling in under laws which state that if you're working continuously for 4 years, your employer is obliged to give you a permanent contract. So maybe they weren't going to do that and your job was going to go anyway.

Stenth

I would also recommend going. If you really don't like Canada, you can always try applying for other Irish jobs from abroad. But it sounds like you will need to move away sooner or later anyway -- really, it's not that much of a difference between moving to Canada and moving to Dublin, for example.

wolfpawnat

Take it from someone who never got a chance to go, give it a shot. Yes you might not like it and return to no job, that's a risk. But is about the things we have don't, not what we could have. Best of luck in your decision.

sashafierce

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lilymc

I can completly understand your worry, it is a big step and I like you have had to make the choice of moving for myself while worrying about everybody else in the process. You have to go and do this for yourself, it is your life. I myself want to go to canada for a couple of years and i'm sure there will be a lot of reasons to not go but at the end of the day if it's what you want to do you will regret it if you don't go.

R.D. aka MR.D

sashafierce wrote: »

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You have absolutely no reason to feel guilty. Your family should want you to have your own life.

Your post makes it seem a little like you are nervous and are trying to think of things to worry about. Just relax and enjoy the adventure of doing something new.

sashafierce

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Stavro Mueller

Your mother's a grown adult and she will manage just fine without you around. People move out of home and leave their parents behind every day of the week. The parents survive.

chinacup

Don't know if you've already considered this, but would you think about trying it out for the 2months give or take a week? That's probably enough time to get a taste for it and see if the feelings of wanting to stay override the negative feelings at that point. And that way you still come back to a job, and if you find yourself still thinking about Canada after another couple of months you can save for a plane ticket to go back if the pull is still strong.

R.D. aka MR.D

sashafierce wrote: »

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Has your mum said she'll be lonely and wants you to stay?

I think most mothers even those who are really close to their children would just be happy that their child is going off and doing their own thing.
Do you think your parents had you with the intention of you living with them the rest of your life? I understand that you love them and feel guilty that you can't be there but at the same time, that's life. Children grow up and move on with their lives and become people in their own right.

sashafierce

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sashafierce

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Semele

OP I felt exactly the same...and I was only moving to the Uk! There was still a big difference though between my being down the road and me only getting back a couple of times a year. The thing is though-and I've had these conversations with my mother- just because they miss you doesn't mean they're not happy for you! It's not a case where only one thing can be true at a time. My mother cries every time I leave and it's horribly upsetting, but she wouldn't in a million years see me stuck in a crap little town with no career just to avoid any of us ever having to miss each other! Leaving is and will be hard. Doesn't make it not the right decision though. In my experience, it's the saying goodbye bit that's awful, and the anticipation of that (which is where you are now). Half an hour later and life is back to normal for both of you. People are very adaptable! Talk it through with them, maybe plan a trip for them to come visit you in a few months? In my case, my family felt much more involved in my life once they'd visited and seen where I lived. Try to focus on why you're going, and all you hope it will be, rather than getting hung up on the act of leaving, or catastrophising about how they will cope without you. Good luck and have fun!

sashafierce

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nikinova

Hello OP,

You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. I know what that guilt is like, but you must believe that your parents want the best for you and for you to see the world. Parents are brilliant and want the best for you, they will feel proud of you that you have decided to travel. I know my parents were, the punched the air when they saw me get in that plane...not sure if that was a good thing or not!!

but seriously, I agree with the other posters, you need to live your life, technology will enable you to share your experiences on a daily basis with your family.

Canada is an amazing country, I did that trip, and I have many happy memories that will stay with me for life.

Best of luck!

Chocolate fiend

sashafierce wrote: »

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Your mother is being unfair and more than a little emotionally abusive I think. You are a person in your own right, you won't live at home forever and there is something amazing about having the guts to go off and travel on your own. Your mother should be proud that she raised you with a get up and go attitude rather than laying the old "mammy guilt" on you.

I write this from Australia where I have been since 2012, you have to live for yourself, of course other people's feelings matter, but, you only get one chance don't blow it by spending too long pandering to your mother.

How old are you?

sashafierce

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Chocolate fiend

Saying "It's well for you" is not exactly saying that it is great and that you are doing the right thing. It is passive agressive.

sashafierce

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Chocolate fiend

sashafierce wrote: »

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Okay you are in the situation so you know how she meant it, and I don't. Why don't you want to go so if your mum is supportive? What are you afraid of?