The drunken philosopher

Cody montana

I think we all like to believe we are smarter after a few beers.
So what phrases or nuggets of limited genius do you trot out to impress your fellow drinkers.

My classic one is

"A thing of beauty is a joy forever, but a joyful thing may not always be beautiful".

It normally goes downhill rapidly after this, but for those 4 brief seconds I am the Irish Confucius.

That or burping the alphabet backwards.

The Backwards Man

That's the way it goes.

Sunnyisland

It used to be,
I had a lot to say about nothing but nothing to say about a lot...

I tend just to keep telling everyone that I'm very very drunk.

Starscream25

Love this one when you disagree with someone in the pub, it's almost poetry.

This is bull****. You're oversimplifying a complex situation to the point of no longer adding anything useful to the discussion.

Tasden

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I tend just to keep telling me that I'm very very drunk.

I do the opposite, "you're fine, you're fine, have one more" :pac:

wretcheddomain

Cody montana wrote: »

My classic one is

"A thing of beauty is a joy forever, but a joyful thing may not always be beautiful".

I fail to see the merit in this statement.

More second year poetry than philosophising.

dreamers75

"did that just happen"

SV

Starscream25 wrote: »

Love this one when you disagree with someone in the pub, it's almost poetry.

This is bull****. You're oversimplifying a complex situation to the point of no longer adding anything useful to the discussion.

That would definitely just make me mutter 'twat' whilst sipping my pint..

WoollyRedHat

Deleted User wrote: »

I tend just to keep telling everyone that I'm very very drunk.

Don't just embrace it, I don't feel the need if I am somewhat babbyling to justify myself to someone judging in their holier than thou throne on high.

Speaking of drunken philosophers, my mother was at pub years ago when I was a young one, and one of the people there had their finger on their chin, looking all deep and insightful, and noticing this, she called them "The thinker", which was quickly misinterpreted as "The tinker". There were ructions after that.

wexie

"it is....." <thoughtful pause and sip of drink>....."what it is".......<wise knowing look>

Or...the buffalo theory from Cheers

El Guapo!

I usually tell everyone I love them. Even if I've only met you ten minutes ago I'll still say how I've always loved you.

Cody montana

wretcheddomain wrote: »

I fail to see the merit in this statement.

More second year poetry than philosophising.

Extroversion is the key to introversion.
Sophistication is idealism.
Man can be like oil, usually crude or refined.
A rolling Kate Moss, gathers some stoners.

This is drunken philosophy, rambling sentences that make little sense and make you think you sound smart.

biko

When I'm drunk my brain switches off so I just tell dirty jokes.

That_Guy

"Ah sure what's the worst that can happen?"

Turns out everything...

Artful_Badger

The older it is the gooder it is.

SV

Svlad Cjelli wrote: »

The older it is the gooder it is.

Ahh yes but! The more expensive it is also the gooder it is

Zed Bank

"ah yeah, i'll worry about it in the morning"

bnt

I don't do that any more, since my realist philosophy tends to bum people out and kill any party mood. Better to drink slowly, stay mostly sober, keep up the small talk, and allow my fellow drinkers to preserve their delusions.

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo

This.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UDcXpIrlXA

Sir Arthur Daley

A lady came up to me one night in the pub and said to me you are drunk, to which I replied I am drunk today Jane, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.

poundapunnet

bnt wrote: »

I don't do that any more, since my realist philosophy tends to bum people out and kill any party mood. Better to drink slowly, stay mostly sober, keep up the small talk, and allow my fellow drinkers to preserve their delusions.

My approach these days is I don't have to get least drunk, just LAST drunk.

I'm terrible for not shutting up about whatever the subject is when I'm pissed, my dad and I are terrible to drink with because we're both the same. My sister says most of the time we're not even arguing, just solemnly re-phrasing each other's points and nodding sagely.

Although recently I've had a tendency to just start talking about James Franco and getting really pissed off when nobody cares about what I think about what he thinks about the cultural significance of the selfie and how pretty he is. And then usually crying.

Czarcasm

"There... are... four... lights"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_eSwq1ewsU

Mickey H

WikiHow wrote: »

A lady came up to me one night in the pub and said to me you are drunk, to which I replied I am drunk today Jane, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly.

And you folowed that up with: "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

ArrahShure

It was Elvis' birthday today, he'd probably still be alive if he hadn't died...

Also, thread title reminded me of a story in The Acid House by Irvine Welsh

link

Sir Arthur Daley

He who dares wins.

Daqster

I usually drunkenly lecture mates as we queue in Abrakebabra about how the meat for the doner is ground up pieces of lamb they can't sell so make a big slab from it and how the oil is all trans fats and will cause inflammation in their bodies and no doubt give them all heart disease and then say, ah fcuk it I'll a kebab and chips too.

NegativeCreep

#Yolo

expo97

Maith an cailín

Cody montana

".............I now tend to feel Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinction as predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth......."

Cody montana wrote: »

The drunken philosopher

Actually on those rare occasions when I am drunk enough I actually do a passably good vocal only rendition of Monty Pythons Philospher's Song. Which is actually about drunken philosophers.

A couple more beers and I then tend to attempt Tom Lehrers "Elements" song which 75% of the time is disasterous but 25% of the time it works and comes out with me looking great

Banjo String

If you aren't in bed by three o'clock. Come home.

My da.