Elderly relative - where to go

kfc1

Am not sure if this is the appropriate forum but here goes, concerned about an elderly relative who lives some distance away, he is in mid 80's and is displaying obvious sings of alzeimhers. He is a widow (for some time & no children) and has very limited contacts locally, he leans on my elderly father alot but as we live some distance away this is not ideal. He's not very agreeable and wouldnt entertain the thought of going into a home. Can anyone advise where we should look at for some support for him? We contacted his doctor already but this seems to have proved fruitless. While I am aware my uncle can be sometimes an 'awkward' person, I do think he is now incapable of living alone now

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Would your uncle agree to day care services? I know for some people it can be very hard to admit that they now need looking after but in my experience people who attend day care love it. People they know to talk to, entertainment (cards, music, people his own age) they're well minded by qualified HCAs, and nurses, they're fed and they are safe and minded.

He could go as little or as often as he wanted, no pressure. I know it isn't the same as him recieving "proper" care but its a start, the staff would get to know him, recognise his needs and should he get worse, I'm sure they would have a public health nurse who could call to your uncle on the days he would be home, along with some home help or meals on wheels.

lazeedaisy

Hi. Its a tough one dealing with this type of situation.

First off talk to his gp. Ask for public health nurse consultation. PHN. Explain all you concerns & ask what they can do.

Otherwise check out hisc.ie the PHN can get hours for someone to look after him at home. You need gp on your side. Get your uncle assessed.

pog it

Hi,

Do you know why his GP wasn't able to help? If it was from lack of effort from what you can see, then I really recommend that you advise this man to find a new doctor. I can tell you from my long experience of this that you need a very good GP for this type of condition. Some GPs are adequate for the occasional call in to them, but if you develop something like alzheimer's or dementia, then it is extremely important to get a very good GP. Easier said than done... I hope it's easier where you live.

Day care centres are excellent- you can go as often as you like and they will collect you from your own home and drop you back again.
After that you can also get HSE home help and have one of the HSE carers call in frequently to help him with medication, cooking, chatting and company, etc.
Then of course if he needs more care he is looking at private care- which is actually cheaper than a nursing home- depends on what income he has of course.

Your local district public health nurse is the person to get in contact - they are as important as your GP, and they will organise the HSE home help and tell you what day centres there are, etc.

Miaireland

You could ask his gp to refer him to a Geriatrician. He/she would be a very good place to start. You could also contact his public Heath Nurse (normally based in his local health centre). He or she could investgate home help options etc.

To be honest geting him referred to a Geriatrician referral is the major thing you need to do.