Lonely and isolated

LegacyUser

Hi,

I need some help.
I feel horribly alone at the moment. On the surface it makes no sense, because I have friends and family , but I still feel it.

I moved to a different county 5 years ago to be with my boyfriend. I live with him and we have a social circle where I have a few friends. But we always do things as couples in this social circle and I don't really have anyone I could meet up with on our own. I feel that I'm far too dependant on my boyfriend to be my only social outlet.
I have fantastic friends from university but they're in different countries. It's hard to catch them on the phone when they're so busy , and when I do I don't feel that I can talk to them about this. my family are also in different counties. My siblings both recently had babies and again with all they have going on I don't feel like I can talk to them about stuff as much. my dad is hard to talk to about problems and to be honest over the past year I get the impression he prefers spending time with his new partner and her kids than us. My mum is dead. All of this has just built up and come to a head this Christmas. I had no shortage of places to go but only with my boyfriend, and it's really upset me that I didn't have a single friend of my own to meet up with.
I don't know what to do. I'm not as happy as I used to be and I find it harder and harder to make the effort to make friends. I've seen things like meetup groups but I'm quite shy and also I feel ashamed that I've been here so long and have no friends, and it's holding me back from joining one. I'd love some advice

R.D. aka MR.D

As some one who lives abroad with my partner, my advice is to bite the bullet and join a meet up group or something.

If you are unhappy then it is up to you to chance it. People at meetups are usually friendly and there to make friends.

Just go and see what happens.

Do you have separate interests to your boyfriend other than socializing like hobbies?

Have you looked at couchsurfing? It is very popular in some cities.

Can you make any friends through work?
If you don't work, how about volunteering?

thegreatgonzo

There's no need to feel ashamed, don't let that stop you from getting involved in things. Nobody is going to judge you.
It's harder to make friends when you are older because people have more responsibilities and just get set in their ways. That's why meet up groups are good because everybody is more or less in the same boat and willing to make the effort. I think you should give the meet up group a chance or see if there are any local activities you can get involved in.

otnomart

Dear OP,
I can also say that meetup groups are very good and you can meet genuine friends there.
I am in a similar boat. Moved abroad (as a single woman), friends in different countries.
It is good to meet new people locally are and not to focus all your life around your boyfriend.
Give it a try, and good luck