Weird atmosphere with coworker

LegacyUser

I have a coworker, let's call her Anna.
Anna and I used to be good friends. We were both interested in similar things, had friends in common on our team, and worked well together. We also both used to complain about the fact we were overweight and too lazy to diet/exercise. We are both hard workers in the office, and she in particular gives herself a very hard time for anything she is not good at, or does not achieve.

I decided to lose weight and changed my lifestyle. I didn't tell anyone I was going to do so. I lost over 2 stone. I got a ton of compliments from the rest of the office and bought lots of nice new clothes which also got a lot of compliments. I have kept the weight off now for several months and no longer even WANT to eat junk. I enjoy exercise now too.

Everyone is happy for me, except Anna. When people complimented me in front of her, she'd look me up and down and would be visibly unhappy about it. As time goes on, it's like there's a silent competition. She has taken to bragging about how much junk food she eats, while saying that she has lost 2 stone (she hasn't - she looks the exact same. She isn't THAT overweight so 2 stone and she would be tiny). If I am talking about fitness with the guys on the team, she'll say "Oh yeah I was in the gym last night for AGES!" but when anyone asks her how it went, or how many km she ran etc, she goes red and says she "doesn't remember".

Also, there's a guy on the team that she likes, who I share projects with that she is not involved in. She made a remark months ago about me flirting with him (I don't) and now she is very obviously doing so herself. She sits beside him in every meeting or social event. If I am chatting to him, she'll turn around and start talking over me about something completely unrelated as if I'm not there. She also likes to belittle me in front of others- if I'm talking about pop music she'll say it's only for children. If I'm talking about fashion she'll imply that it's not a very intellectual interest, but if I talk about poetry or books she'll make out that it's boring.

Should I just ignore her? I would consider speaking to her about it, but any time I have ever spoken to her before about anything, she'll say she "doesn't remember saying that".

tinkerbell

To put it bluntly - she's jealous that you are no longer her fat friend who she can be fat with. Now you're her thinner friend while she's still fat. Well done for adopting a healthier lifestyle - losing 2 stone is a massive achievement, you should be so proud. Don't let her drag you down - I'd just start distancing yourself from her, tbh.

It sounds like you didn't really have much in common except for both being overweight and you could moan about it. Now that you're no longer overweight, there's nothing to talk about it. People change, life goes on, friendships fizzle out. So chin up and just carry on as you are and ignore her stupid petty jealous remarks.

professore

You can't be friends with everyone. Once you realise this, your life becomes much easier. Just ignore her.

tinkerbell

tinkerbell wrote: »

To put it bluntly - she's jealous that you are no longer her fat friend who she can be fat with. Now you're her thinner friend while she's still fat. Well done for adopting a healthier lifestyle - losing 2 stone is a massive achievement, you should be so proud. Don't let her drag you down - I'd just start distancing yourself from her, tbh.

It sounds like you didn't really have much in common except for both being overweight and you could moan about it. Now that you're no longer overweight, there's nothing to talk about it. People change, life goes on, friendships fizzle out. So chin up and just carry on as you are and ignore her stupid petty jealous remarks.

Yep i agree with this OP and if she was a proper friend your weight loss might actually prompt her into weight loss action rather then manifest itself into this bitter bitchiness.

Jenneke87

Congratulations on losing the weight and a horrible person as a friend. Sounds like a win-win to me