Feeling guilty over taking drugs

LegacyUser

Basically my problem is that i'm 23 years old and I have dabbled in drugs 5 or 6 times (most recently last Friday) and I feel extremely guilty over it. I come from a very "clean" background and know my parents would never forgive me if they found out I had so much as dabbled. I feel like sh*t the day after I take them, but with alcohol on me I find it difficult to say no sometimes. I've been having mood swings lately (more to do with depression than drug use), and my mother is starting to get suspicious. I've even been considering coming clean that I've dabbled. But when I look at it from another point of view, i'm 23 years old and clearly old enough to be able to make my own decisions/mistakes and keep them to myself. I'm not sure how common it is to have dabbled in drugs at my age (i've taken weed, ecstasy and that powder you used be able to get in headshops), but I just feel so dirty and guilty about it. Should I admit I have tried them and should I be feeling this guilty?

diograis

You're 23 in my opinion you're under no obligation to tell them. "taking drugs" sounds a bit sinister, plenty of normal happy well functioning people smoke weed and it doesn't affect their lives negatively. You know yourself about the risks and to be careful, I'd stay away from anything else though.

iusedtoknow

You're under not compunction to let them know you've dabbled. The only thing I would say is to be very careful mixing alcohol and drugs. Aside from reactions between the two drugs (yes alcohol is also a drug) weed and alcohol can cause vomiting and killer hangovers..., alcohol can lower your inhibitions and you can end up taking more than intended, or thinking "screw it, i try xxxx". Plus when you're drunk, your senses are dulled so you don't enjoy the feeling of being high..not that I condone such things

Be careful, and if you do continue to dabble, make sure it's with people you trust.

catallus

This may sound thick OP, but do you actually want to be taking drugs? Is it what you want to do?

A lot of people just do it for a bit of fun and keep doing it because it is what their friends are doing.

If you are feeling bad after having dabbled then maybe you know in your heart and soul that you just don't want to be doing it, even if it is what your friends are doing.

Like you said you're clearly old enough to be able to make your own decisions/mistakes and keep them to yourself. But if smoking weed/ sniffing powder doesn't seem right to you then maybe you need to take responsibility and make a decision; keep doing what you don't enjoy or take the option of doing what feels right for you.

ElleEm

OP, I would say it is fairly common for people your age to have experimented in drugs. You have tried a few and have decided it is not for you. That is okay and nothing to feel guilty about. Next time you are out, and anything is offered around, it is OKAY to say no.

I would personally advise against telling your parents anything. It will not help the situation at all. It will not cure your negative feelings, and it may only worry your parents. Some parents don't get the difference between experimentation, recreational drug use or full on drug addiction. You aid yourself that they would never forgive you, so there is nothing to gain by admitting it.

Chalk this down to experimentation and learning who you are as a person.

Merkin

Jesus do not tell your parents whatever you do! If you've dabbled with a pill or two on a night out or smoked a bit of weed and its not for you then just stop doing it. If you tell your parents they will equate you dabbling with being a heroin addict and will be sending you off to rehab or counselling. Telling them would be a disaster. If drugs don't suit you or you're not enjoying them then simply don't do them

Ham Sambo

If it's only 'dabbling' as you have said then leave it at that, walk away from it before it destroys your life, Jesus at 23yrs old you have your whole life in front of you instead of messing with this sh*te, stay away from them and you might also have to look at your network of friends who 'dabble' as well, because they should have no place in your life from tomorrow onwards. Live life to the full as it ain't a rehearsal!!! Good luck!

Tramps Like Us

OP unfortunately it is somewhat common for people our age to have taken drugs

However you are beyond stupid to be taking stuff people give you on a night out, this is how people die from bad pills.

My advice would be to never do them again. And cut back/stop drinking. You say you have depression, adding drink or drugs to that is a very very bad idea. Go talk to your GP and explain all this

I've ended friendships with people because they do drugs/tried to get me to do some. If they won't take no for an answer or you are uncomfortable wit drugs maybe you should not see these people any more.

Of course you'll get the usual middle class heads along in a few to say taking drugs is grand - they don't see the reality of drug addiction, criminality and the complete destruction of families and once decent communities caused by drugs. You'll get them puffing away on a joint or popping some e blaming criminalization but the reality is is that people who buy drugs directly contribute towards the misery of others. The responsible position, and the only one I respect from people who think it should be decriminalized, is to advocate this while abstaining from any and all illegal substance use.

You however already know all this which is why you are feeling guilty - you know that taking drugs and aiding and abetting criminality is wrong. You have only dabbled so don't beat yourself up, everyone makes mistakes. Drugs are not for you, stop, draw a line under it, and see your GP about your depression.

Mick Murdock

The chances of an ecstasy tablet or two killing the OP or anyone else are very very slim, so I wouldn't get too carried away...

I would be more concerned with your depression than your occasional drug use. Drink and drugs will not help with that, they will ultimately make it much worse.

They're clearly not for you, just say no.

Stavro Mueller

Maybe you should draw a line under the drug use and say "Been there, done that, worn the t-shirt". You don't seem to be getting much out of the experiences apart from problems with depression and tons of guilt. You've sated your curiosity now so why not take a mature decision and leave them in the past. Out of curiosity, why did you suddenly get the urge to start dabbling with them now rather than when you were a teenager?

woodchuck

You're a grown adult, so there should be no need to 'come clean' to your parents. Having said that, if you're doing it or storing it under their roof and you know it's something they feel strongly opposed to, I wouldn't do/store it there anymore. It's just about having a little bit of respect for the rules of the house.

Is this something you want to continue doing? From your post it sounds like you don't... usually if someone is feeling guilty, there is a good reason for it. If you want that feeling to go away, then just stop doing it.

I don't want to give you a lecture as it's up to you to make your own decisions, but the potential contents of the ecstasy would worry me so maybe that something you should consider more seriously...

Rachiee

The reason youre feeling terrible is youre probably on a come down. Drugs rush your brain with happy chemicals so when these go you feel the loss. This is why drugs can make your depression worse.
I think it would be more unusual to not have experimented with illeagal drug use. I personally dont take issue with recreational drug use. Alcohol is just as bad if abused its just not illeagal. What i would say though is if its not something you enjoy then why do it?
If you do decide to knock it on the head id say it to your friends before you go out that you dont want to be offered. If they still do its time to break ties.
Also do a bit of resesrch into the risks associated so that you can make an informed decision.
I wouldnt advise telling youre parents they love you too much they will just be scared and wont see the difference between recreational drug use and drug addiction.