would it bother you?

Evelyn Cusack

If you discovered that your other half has a box with old photos of them and their ex beside your bed in the apartment you share?

And that they were travelling with an old f buddy of theirs, although both were in new relationships at the time?

michael999999

I see a storm a brewing!

Stavro Mueller

Is your other half travelling with the former f buddy at the moment?

Addle

Evelyn Cusack wrote: »

If you discovered that your other half has a box with old photos of them and their ex beside your bed in the apartment you share?

And that they were travelling with an old f buddy of theirs, although both were in new relationships at the time?

Were you a couple while they were traveling together?
Maybe the photos are never looked at?

You're not entitled to hold a grudge over what your partner got up to before you went out.

If they're looking at photos of someone they know, I'd have an issue with that.

Evelyn Cusack

cymbaline wrote: »

Is your other half travelling with the former f buddy at the moment?

No, was for about 3 days over a near ago

Mr. Incognito

Everyone is entitled to have momentos of old relationships.

They are in a box, probably with assorted other crap, and if its a guy like me in that same box is his birth cert and other documents up to and including passports. We have one important place for all that crap.

So I wouldn't be overly concerned unless it is something more sinister.

If someone is traveling with an ex, so what.

Either you trust your OH or you dont. If you do, then you could care less about this sort of nonsense. If you don't then please don't pretend its about an old picture and travelling company.

Evelyn Cusack

Drives me crazy that it's all pretty much in my face

Pj!

I have photos of exes (not large collections, just one or two personal ones) and wouldn't like to throw them out. I don't ever look at them as I have absolutely no desire to. If I lost them to a fire I wouldn't lose any sleep. But hey they were a part of my life. I sort of like the idea of someday when I'm old and grey looking back over things like that.

Mr. Incognito

Evelyn Cusack wrote: »

Drives me crazy that it's all pretty much in my face

Unless the photo is stuck to your bathroom mirror in the morning its in a box, with a lid.

I think you have a dose of the green eyed monster. It's an irrational beast aye but it can be banished with a deep breath and some cop on.

You are living together. And you are threatened by an ex and a f buddy.

As a dude, I can tell you that we have two classifications of women in our life. The past and the present.

If you are in the present, getting jealous of the past. Well..........

Get over it.

Sound Bite

You shouldn't care about the women that we he had before you....You should just concentrate on making sure there are none after you.

He's with you not any of them.

There is nothing more unattractive than jealousy & you need to get it under control or you'll drive him away.

wirelessdude01

Seriously OP, get a grip. They are the past and well, at the moment you are the present and future. That could very well change if you allow our friend the green eyed monster to take over.

Now the question I have is how you found these photos?

Meangadh

I probably wouldn't like it but the main thing I'd be worried about is why I was doubting my boyfriend in the first place. If I trusted him I'd probably just forget about it. If I didn't, well then a box of stuff and holidays with an ex would only be the start of my worries.

username123

Evelyn Cusack wrote: »

If you discovered that your other half has a box with old photos of them and their ex beside your bed in the apartment you share?

And that they were travelling with an old f buddy of theirs, although both were in new relationships at the time?

I'm pretty sure my husband has old pics of his ex and himself near enough the bed in the apartment we both share. Course he does, as do I, we live here, all of our belongings are here. He no doubt has gifts from ex's, old valentine cards, maybe letters from the days before mobile phones and email. Who knows? Who cares? I didn't unwrap him pristine and new out of a sealed box when our relationship started, he has a past, as do I. It's naive to think otherwise.

Stavro Mueller

How long were you together when your other half went on this trip? Did he(?) have anything to say about it?

Big Bag of Chips

michael999999, you may not be familiar with the standard of posting expected in Personal Issues. This is an advice forum, and posters are expected to offer advice to the OP, or not to post.

Please make sure you are familiar with our Forum Charter if you wish to post in Personal Issues again.

qdawg86

If the travelling happened before you got together then I don't see an issue.

The photos thing I find a bit weird. I have never held onto photos of an ex as I have no feelings (platonic or otherwise) remaining for them or the times/places that the photos were taken and therefore the memories are just as forgettable. I just wouldn't see the point in holding onto them. It would be clutter to me and that is the reason I would want to get rid of them.

I wouldn't ask my partner to get rid of such photos but I wouldn't be able to stop myself wondering why he was keeping them.

December2012

Did he cheat on you?

I'm trying to see what the importance of the photos are.

I've photos of my ex. In my bedroom. It's where I store things. I do not love or think about my ex. I also have old photos of school friends too. I don't think about them.

Stavro Mueller

Well, she does say "They were travelling with an old f buddy of theirs, although both were in new relationships at the time" which I'm taking to mean the early days of him being with the OP. I don't know if the OP is going to add more to this thread but I think this is something we'd need more context for.

strobe

Evelyn Cusack wrote: »

Drives me crazy that it's all pretty much in my face

Wasn't in your face til you put your face in the box. Its not like he has them framed on the night stand. Don't be daft.

Look, partners aren't just lovers, they're friends. Often best friends. You love them and share your lives with them and create a lot of happy and cherished memories with them.

That's why people keep photos, as a memory of good times that are now over.

If someone has photos of a time they lived abroad, it doesnt mean they wish they were still there or that they'd prefer to be there than Ireland. If that was the case they'd probably be there. It just means they have some fond memories of a time in their past.

If your OH has a box with personal items in it, it's his business and you don't really have a right to object to him keeping photos. He's allowed have nice memories of other people, no matter how it makes you feel. He's with you now, that's all that matters.

Leave him his privacy and keep your nose out of his box, both literally and metaphorically. Forget about it, it's your issue so don't make it his.

Rachiee

This really wouldnt bother me at all. Quite the opposite i would be impressed by how sentimental he is. Dont really understand the issue with the holiday tbh they went there as friends or they went and had one last fling. Yes Id be pissed off if it was the latter but what would make you think that? I truly cannot understand why this would be upsetting for you.if you really cant trust him and feel unloved at this stage in the relationship maybe you should be reflecting on that.