Moved in with inlaws

LegacyUser

A couple of months ago I moved in with my boyfriends family because I'm pregnant and we are trying to save some money before the baby is born.

I'm so grateful to them for letting us move in but they are driving me mad. Its nothing major that's getting to me, they are lovely people, just little things. They all burp non stop at the dinner table, shout over each other while watching TV, whistling and singing at the top of their voices when I'm in bed, and the odd snide remark over sillys things about me never cooking, despite the fact that I love cooking (and always ate really healthy foods until I moved in here) but come home to chips and pasta cooked for me all the time, even though I've told them not to.

I either feel like a burden or like I'm being rude. I'm really, really starting to hate it, but with no other option I'm kind of stuck there.

Its really getting me down, I find myself hanging around work for longer than necassary or going to the gym after work because I don't like being there when my boyfriend is out. I can feel myself getting more and more down and depressed as each day goes by.

I'm sure I'm not the only one in this situation the way things are with jobs/rents at the moment here.
How are other people coping living with other families?

ABajaninCork

Why can't you move out? You'd like your own privacy, cook for yourself and you'll need somewhere for the baby soon. Right?

If you're getting depressed, it can't be good for your or the baby. For your own sanity, move out!!

treelights

If you have a job, why can you not move out?
Yes, rent costs money, but ... that's life.

Boombastic

About the cooking, why not just say, on friday (or whatever day suits you) i will cook for the whole family and then do it....or eat at work?

If both you and your boyfriend are both working there is no reason why you can't rent your own place. You moved in with them so you could save money. You sound a bit ungrateful, they are under no obligation to let you live there and change their lifestyle to suit you. If you don't like it, move out

Big Bag of Chips

You moved in to save money before the baby was born? How much money do you need? How much are you saving? Have you and your bf ever rented your own place together?

Living with another family is always going to be difficult. Moving back to live with your own family would be difficult if you're used to your own space, but at least in your own family, you'd feel more relaxed. You're always going to feel like a visitor in someone else's house.

You need to weigh up which is more important - saving money, or your sanity! I agree that if you are both working then there is no reason to not have your own place. When do you plan on moving out? Are you planning on moving just before/after the baby is born? Imagine how you will feel with a new baby living in someone else's house. I think your priority now should be to find somewhere suitable for you and your bf to start your family.

Littlelulu13

You need to leave before the relationship between you and your in laws ends up bitter and resentful. Its going to be a nightmare with a baby and you won't be able to breath.

Sometimes wasting money on rent is the best option

ABajaninCork

If the money's putting a roof over your head and somewhere safe for you and the family, then rent ISN'T a waste of money!

December2012

Nobody's being mean to you?
Made you unwelcome?

Noise means living with a family and you could benefit from trying to be more flexible. You'll see this enough when your children grow up.

You're about to become a parent and you need to prioritise.

Is burping at the dinner table worth rent?

Shouting at tv - well lots of people have annoying tv habits. Is it worth the price of rent?

Should they all pussyfoot around you because you're pregnant?

I think what you're feeling is common, but you would benefit from looking at this in a positive way and not with all of the negatives.

If you guys have your own bedroom, put a tv or netflix in there.

You and your boyfriend cook for the family once a week.

Don't eat the chips and pasta if you don't want them.

Enjoy the opportunity to go to the gym - you won't have that when the baby comes.

Even if you were living with your own family or living alone with your boyfreind you have to learn how to get along with living with other people.

Stop looking at the negatives and focus on the positives.

LegacyUser

I completely agree I'm being ungrateful, which really upsets me. They are a great family who are doing a lot for us which is why I hate that I'm getting so worked up.

I don't expect them to change or to pussyfoot around me, I would never be intenionally rude or show them in anyway that I'm irritated. I'm trying to live the way I like without disturbing their way of life, no matter what I say about the dinner, about me cooking, I come home to a cooked dinner, which I feel obligated to eat because his mum has put the effort in...despite being told a million times I'll do my own thing. Going to bring it up again and hope she'll listen!

I came on here to see how other people are coping and to see if I could stop myself getting so upset by the situation before I start to really resent it, and it worked. I feel quite guilty for being so selfish. I guess its up to myself to focus on the positives rather than the negatives.

...Although burping and not even trying to disguise it when at the dinner table, is gross. But its something I'll get over. :P

Thanks for the replies, feeling more positive about the situation now.

P.s: I'm doing an apprenticeship. Money is ****e. And we are hoping to have our deposit for a house by the time the baby is born. We rented for 5 years and really want to buy!