Early days dating and partner goes on holidays

LegacyUser

I need some advise. I think I rushed to judgement too quick but I have to be true to myself. I'm dating a guy 2months now and he's on holidays this week. I haven't heard a peep from him in 5days which is unusual. Fair enough he's on holidays but today I thought I would have at least heard from him given the day that's in it. I seen on his blog he lost his phone ( that's understandable) and he posted this today and wished all a merry Xmas. I'm a bit peeved that he didn't mail me and wish me Happy Christmas. It would only taken 2mins to do. I don't expect much at all. I mailed him just happy Xmas and thanks for sparing me a thought on Christmas Day !! Being my sarcastic self!! It was probably wrong of me to do it while he's on holidays. I just think it's bad form not mailing the girl your dating given the day that's in it.
Maybe I expect too much??
Any advise would be much appreciated even for future dating )

Enright

Som e people when on holidays leave their email and phone at home! a kind of detox - keep the faith

ted1

As above I'm hopeless at keeping in touch when I'm abroad. I've a company phone which they discourage me to use when roaming, I always forget to bring a international charger or plug changer. If its hot I tend not to bring out valuables as I'm by the beach or pool and in and out if the water, if I'm snowboarding I bring a phone I case if an emergency but its deep in my bag and powered down. Etc, etc

Penny Tration

Why did you send that? It's not just sarcastic, it's bitchy. I wouldn't exoect to hear fron somebody I'm dating while they are on holiday and I think it's a bit silly to expect it.

CaraMay

green_screen wrote: »

Why did you send that? It's not just sarcastic, it's bitchy. I wouldn't exoect to hear fron somebody I'm dating while they are on holiday and I think it's a bit silly to expect it.

I agree. You were out of order. I would be surprised if you hear from him again.

MagicMarker

green_screen wrote: »

Why did you send that? It's not just sarcastic, it's bitchy. I wouldn't exoect to hear fron somebody I'm dating while they are on holiday and I think it's a bit silly to expect it.

You wouldn't expect to hear from your partner on Christmas Day? Eh, yeah, whatever you say.

On Christmas day I would at least expect a text, and if they lose their phone I'd expect a phone call. I don't give a fûck if they're on the moon.

GreeBo

I'd be severely pissed if I didn't get any contact for week. Over Christmas forget it, they'd be getting the boot.

Victoria Fortescue

Sally_2013 wrote: »

I need some advise. I think I rushed to judgement too quick but I have to be true to myself. I'm dating a guy 2months now and he's on holidays this week. I haven't heard a peep from him in 5days which is unusual. Fair enough he's on holidays but today I thought I would have at least heard from him given the day that's in it. I seen on his blog he lost his phone ( that's understandable) and he posted this today and wished all a merry Xmas. I'm a bit peeved that he didn't mail me and wish me Happy Christmas. It would only taken 2mins to do. I don't expect much at all. I mailed him just happy Xmas and thanks for sparing me a thought on Christmas Day !! Being my sarcastic self!! It was probably wrong of me to do it while he's on holidays. I just think it's bad form not mailing the girl your dating given the day that's in it.
Maybe I expect too much??
Any advise would be much appr
eciated even for future dating )

Saying happy Christmas to him via mail was perfectly fine, but I don't think the sarcasm was necessary. You're only two months together and he's already getting it in the neck. Given the guy has to communicate via his blog I think you need to cut him a little slack. Being honest you sounded a bit naggy in your mail, which doesn't bode well so early in the relationship.

GreeBo

2 months is too much to expect contact once a week, over Christmas?
Jaysus.

Penny Tration

MagicMarker wrote: »

You wouldn't expect to hear from your partner on Christmas Day? Eh, yeah, whatever you say.

On Christmas day I would at least expect a text, and if they lose their phone I'd expect a phone call. I don't give a fûck if they're on the moon.

She said they're dating, that doesn't mean he is her partner yet.

And no, I wouldn't expect it, not while they're on holiday with no phone.

Penny Tration

GreeBo wrote: »

2 months is too much to expect contact once a week, over Christmas?
Jaysus.

When you're dating somebody of course you expect contact more than once a week. I speak to my bf daily. But while he's on holiday and has no phone, why would she expect it? I refused to text a single person while I was on holiday, although I was posting online. Getting away from texting is lovely when you're on holiday

GreeBo

Getting away from your bf though?

whirlpool

<Mod Snip: Please remember to be civil to other posters in the forum>

The OP very clearly is feeling a bit nervous about the relationship and doesn't know how to feel and simply reacted from a place of fear.

OP, the only way you will know what the story is is by seeing what things are like between you both when he gets home. Take it easy.

Penny Tration

GreeBo wrote: »

Getting away from your bf though?

He wasn't my bf at the time, but I have gone on holidays before and not contacted the bf at the time til I got home.

I don't want to de rail the op's thread but my stance on it is that she hasn't said he's her boyfriend, just that they're dating, he is on holiday and has no phone. I don't really see the problem in waiting til he comes home to hear from him.

I appreciate others' opinions and would rather not argue it and ruin the op's thread.

CaraMay

There is no issue with her getting a bit annoyed but getting sarky was out of order.

Either way the relationship looks doomed if, he can't be bothered even wish her happy Xmas.

CaraMay

It was the op who called her her partner.

Chattastrophe!

CaraMay wrote: »

Either way the relationship looks doomed if, he can't be bothered even wish her happy Xmas.

Yeah, but ... until she sent the passive aggressive text, he hadn't heard from her, either.

So I'm not sure why he's getting all the blame for not being in contact for a week ... when she didn't contact him, either (and it would obviously have been easier for her to do so.)

CaraMay

Chattastrophe! wrote: »

Yeah, but ... until she sent the passive aggressive text, he hadn't heard from her, either.

So I'm not sure why he's getting all the blame for not being in contact for a week ... when she didn't contact him, either (and it would obviously have been easier for her to do so.)

I agree.

Czarcasm

CaraMay wrote: »

There is no issue with her getting a bit annoyed but getting sarky was out of order.

Either way the relationship looks doomed if, he can't be bothered even wish her happy Xmas.

This is it in a nutshell really. I can understand the OP being annoyed that the guy she's dating could take time out of his holiday to update his blog and tell the world+dog how he was getting on, yet couldn't find the time to email/skype/facebook the OP? I'd call that straight out couldn't care less or just plain inconsiderate on his part.

For her part though, the OP, even giving the benefit of the doubt that it was meant to be sarcastic, how that intention is perceived completely depends on the readers mood, and if he's kicking back on holidays and you're the last thing on his mind, a sarcastic comment like that you might as well have delivered him a kick in the teeth.

I'd suggest chalking this one down to experience OP and move on tbh, sounds like neither of you were too invested in it either way and certainly neither of you seem to be at all on the same wavelength.

LegacyUser

OP here... Thanks for the responses. I wasn't trying to come across bitchy. I was naturally a little hurt by his action. I think if a guy doesn't text you on Xmas it's not a good sign. Maybe me sending him that wasn't right. I have sent it now and no going back. I don't have anything to loose letting him know that I wasn't happy. If it's not meant to be it's not. I am surprised and a little disappointed as we get on well and are very open with each other. It appears when away I'm not even a thought.

Not everyone will agree with this approach but it's who I am and if he doesn't like that then we ain't really suited.

Thanks

Matteroffact

If he lost his phone how can he keep in touch with you? If he is using a public computer then it is inconvenient to write much to anyone. I would not expect much from someone who lost their phone. If he wished everyone a Happy Christmas then that included you.

Big Bag of Chips

Sally_2013 wrote: »

I think if a guy doesn't text you on Xmas it's not a good sign.

As Matteroffact says, how's he supposed to text you if he doesn't have his phone? Have you been in touch with him at all during the week? Why did you not just send him a "Happy Christmas" email yourself without the sarky bit in it? Maybe if you sent, "Happy Christmas" he would have sent it back. Why was he supposed to be the first one to initiate contact? You were obviously sitting at home waiting to hear from him, so why not just send him a message first?

Grimebox

I didn't message a girl I'm seeing at all yesterday. I didn't realise our relationship is doomed until I read this thread

I wouldn't say the relationship is doomed at all. There's no way of knowing how limited his internet access is, what he is doing, or anything like that. I don't get why the OP couldn't just wish them a happy Christmas first, instead of waiting for him to make the first move - instead they sent a rather snarky message. I mean, you say it only takes two minutes to do so, then why didn't you? You were probably a lot more capable than him of doing so. At least then if he didn't reply or acknowledge it, you'd have a better understanding of the situation.

MagicMarker

Deleted User wrote: »

I wouldn't say the relationship is doomed at all. There's no way of knowing how limited his internet access is, what he is doing, or anything like that. I don't get why the OP couldn't just wish them a happy Christmas first, instead of waiting for him to make the first move - instead they sent a rather snarky message. I mean, you say it only takes two minutes to do so, then why didn't you? You were probably a lot more capable than him of doing so. At least then if he didn't reply or acknowledge it, you'd have a better understanding of the situation.

Maybe she did? He lost his phone remember and only posted online yesterday about it.

MagicMarker

MagicMarker wrote: »

Maybe she did? He lost his phone remember and only posted online yesterday about it.

I'm going by what the OP has said and they didn't mention sending a message first. Given their reaction and the post, it would be safe to assume they would have said if they had.

3DataModem

Sally_2013 wrote: »

I need some advise. ..... I mailed him just happy Xmas and thanks for sparing me a thought on Christmas Day !! Being my sarcastic self!! It

You don't need advice, as you've already mailed him a sarcastic needy put down.

My advice? Apologise for the snarky comment. Do you want him to mail you or do you want him to want to mail you?

Newaglish

If he's using an internet cafe, it's probably not open around Christmas...

LegacyUser

Op again. Thanks for all the replies. I take everyone's view point on board. Maybe I made a mistake or maybe he did. I'm sure we will soon find out. I'm not a hard ass bitch. I'd be first to put my hand up if I was in the wrong. Everyone expects different things from relationships. I would respect others opinions and I would like to receive that respect back. I may have a different view point on this to others. It's a learning curve for me. Maybe I jumped the gun and I will apologies if needs be. At end of day I was just a little hurt and asked for advice. I don't think something like this would cause the end of a relationship if he wants to judge me on one text mistake or not well it was always going to be doomed then.
I am aware of listening to my own advise and I will talk to him when he's back. If it's meant to be it will be.

Thanks for your advise and opinions. I'm happy to close the thread