Advice about Alcoholic Father

romalulukaku

My dad is an alcoholic he doesn't speak to my family anymore he gets up goes to work comes home and sits in his office, every weekend he sleeps on the couch and sometimes during the week, he sometimes goes up to bed (if he wakes up) at 4am or anytime in the middle of the night he disturbs the whole house, doing no housework and peeing on the floor in the toilet. He puts my mother under pressure to keep us all going. He earns the keep for the house supposedly yet he gives us the money my mother asks for with nothing more, he has spent any money himself in over 10 years. During 2004-2008 he started drinking and staying in his office, i was younger and i thought it would pass he now drinks 4 cans everyday or pretends its not drinking when he has half a bottle of wine every night while hogging any room he chooses, his presence drives me to leave the room no matter what im doing and it puts me to stay in my room most of the time. We recently got new tiles in the house and i can already see the stain on the floor from where he misses the toilet. He has no regard for anyone else but himself and his beer sometimes i think about taking his stockpile of wine and beer and smashing it just to see what he does but he has abused me and hit everyone in the family when he gets aggressive, i don't do it because i will get hit. I think if i stop him drinking it will save my family a lot of stress, he drinks every night and its going to destroy his liver. Advice?

boomchicawawa

Hi OP, you don't mention how others in the family are coping with this situation. Are you the only one who is upset at this behaviour, have you someone to speak to in the family ? I don't know what age you are, but its obvious that your dad has a serious problem and that you are suffering badly also. I don't think smashing his bottles will have any affect other than to enrage him. You and your other family members need the support of people who are qualified to help in this situation. Al-anon give support to family members and they will give you a sympathic ear and hopefully some sound advice. Don't keep this in, talk to these people and hopefully you will get the support you so richly deserve. I wish you the best of luck....

P. Breathnach

Consider getting in touch with Al-anon: http://www.al-anon-ireland.org/. The organisation exists to help people in situations like yours.

It would probably be good if the other members of your family also asked for their help, but take one step at a time. You make the contact for yourself, and they might be able to assist you in making into a family thing.

CaraMay

Op I just wanted to say well done for coming here to look for guidance. I don't have any advice I can give you but there are plenty of us on here who can listen and throw in our 2c where appropriate. Good luck

R.D. aka MR.D

I'm the daughter of an alcoholic. I remember feeling like you when i was a child. I was always very brave (stupidly confident) and on one occasion did throw out his drink. It did nothing.

My father came to his own conclusions a few years after and is now sober something over 15years.

Please talk to your family and try to get some help. You can't change your father. All you can do is change how you react to him. Try calling childline or something if you are under 18. They might be able to provide you with information on how to cope.

There is something called al-ateen if i remember correctly. Some people find help in that.

Maura74

This must be very difficult for your family OP, have look on the internet for guidance on dealing with this problem. There is a lot of help out there for you and you need to avail yourself of it. People drink for all sorts of reason.

Best of Luck

http://www.wikihow.com/Deal-With-an-Alcoholic-Parent

http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/families/coping_alcoholic.html