As atheists, would you rather be a Militant Zionist or a Wahhabi Jihadist?

wretcheddomain

Since this is time us atheists celebrate the month of Hitchamadan, it's worth recalling a popular line he threw against theists:

So obviously I can't asks atheists if they would prefer to be atheists, but I can ask if you'd rather be a lunatic Zionist who marginalises the Palestinians or a Wahhabi Jihadist who pronounces war against infidels and the militant baggage that comes with that ideology. I'd nearly employ the Craigian defence that I don't really have a preference but if I gun were placed to my head I'd probably say militant Zionist if only for the reason I'd get bored saying 'God is Great' in Arabic all day long...

smacl

Atari Jaguarist?

Malcolm.

That's easy the Jooo's make more money

Pherekydes

If a gun were placed to my head, I'd pull the trigger.

wretcheddomain

72 virgins come with the Jihadist choice while you need to get your dick sawn off for the Zionists option.

But the only way to get the 72 virgins is if you engage in death by blowing.

Turtwig

wretcheddomain wrote: »

72 virgins come with the Jihadist choice while you need to get your dick sawn off for the Zionists option.

But the only way to get the 72 virgins is if you engage in death by blowing.

No guarantee of the sex of the virgins though. Think about it, the population is 50:50, male: female. So if every male that dies gets 70 females eventually you'll have a shortage. Especially when the selection is restricted to virgins. Before you know it humans will be entirely out of the equation and it will be animal virgins.

wretcheddomain

Jernal wrote: »

No guarantee of the sex of the virgins though. Think about it, the population is 50:50, male: female. So if every male that dies gets 70 females eventually you'll have a shortage. Especially when the selection is restricted to virgins. Before you know it humans will be entirely out of the equation and it will be animal virgins.

Yes Jernal - but you're forgetting the theists omnipotent trump card - I mean, that God is omnipotent and can fashion 72 new virgins.

I'm willing to place a bet that God has a Chinese factory in Heaven called Virgin Pacific which manufacturers thousands of virgins every minute. Of course - these virgins will have the seal of production, Made in Heaven, on their rear.

Pherekydes

wretcheddomain wrote: »

I'm willing to place a bet that God has a Chinese factory in Heaven called Virgin Pacific which manufacturers thousands of virgins every minute. Of course - these virgins will have the seal of production, Made in Heaven, on their rear.

Hmmmm, I wonder what these virgins did to deserve the fate of spending eternity cooped up with suicide bombers?

endacl

This virgin thing is a bit of a red herring. What use is 72 male virgins to a straight male martyr? Or the age? 72 nonogenarians? Or at the other end of the scale, those who have read Garth Ennis' excellent Preacher books might have raised a giggle at the suicide nutjob who's reward in paradise was to change 72 dirty nappies over and over for all eternity.

What was the question again...?

endacl

Pherekydes wrote: »

Hmmmm, I wonder what these virgins did to deserve the fate of spending eternity cooped up with suicide bombers?

Probably a karma thing. The theology gets a bit fuzzy.

wretcheddomain

Pherekydes wrote: »

Hmmmm, I wonder what these virgins did to deserve the fate of spending eternity cooped up with suicide bombers?

The common denominator is that both the virgins and the suicide bombers blow, they just blow in different ways - so in line with the Platonic perspective, they're unified for stability reasons. It's this spark that God recognises as bringing them together as one.

Ok, that's enough theology bullsh1t for today...

PopePalpatine

wretcheddomain wrote: »

72 virgins come with the Jihadist choice while you need to get your dick sawn off for the Zionists option.

But the only way to get the 72 virgins is if you engage in death by blowing.

Circumcision is also practised in Islam, so I guess when you add that to death-by-self-detonation, being a Jihadi seems like a raw deal.

Brown Bomber

Many "lunatic militant Zionists" are in fact atheist (and Christian). A better term in this context would be supremacist Jew or something like that if you want to frame it in religiious terms.

Brown Bomber

Fáther of Zioniism, Herzl - Atheist
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theodor_Herzl


Jabotinsky, Jewish-Terrorist and right-wing Zionist leader - atheist etc...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ze'ev_Jabotinsky

wretcheddomain

That's true - forgot about that to be honest.

Zionist Supremacist Jew

robindch

wretcheddomain wrote: »

Zionist Supremacist Jew

The Zionist Supremacist People's Jewish Front, or the Jewish People's Front of Zionist Supremacists?

I think this point should be clarified.

wretcheddomain

robindch wrote: »

The Zionist Supremacist People's Jewish Front, or the Jewish People's Front of Zionist Supremacists?

I think this point should be clarified.

Excellent question as usual robindch - your reputation goes unsullied.

The answer is the Islamic Zionist Supremacist People's Frontdoor to the Jewish Front.

Mark Hamill

wretcheddomain wrote: »

72 virgins come with the Jihadist choice while you need to get your dick sawn off for the Zionists option.

But the only way to get the 72 virgins is if you engage in death by blowing.

If they are virgins they are hardly going to be able to blow you that good ... oh wait, you meant something else

(I have a dirty mind :pac:)

Being female and all, neither

Turtwig

bluewolf wrote: »

Being female and all, neither

You have to pick one.

Corkfeen

Jernal wrote: »

You have to pick one.

The plans are going ahead for your dictatorship? The big question is what sort of biscuits will citizens get.

Nodin

bluewolf wrote: »

Being female and all, neither

You could wear a fake beard....

wretcheddomain

Nodin wrote: »

You could wear a fake beard....

...or wear a bomber jacket