In a mess.. - <Mod Warning - No medical advice please>

LegacyUser

I have been with my girlfriend now for 2 years and we are currently living together. We haven't had sex now in nearly 6 months, which is down to me, and it is really taking its toll on the relationship. I can't even make myself get intimate with her, which sounds horrible I know, but that's how bad it is.

Our sex life was amazing up until then, but, this is where it gets messy and apologies Mods if this topic cannot me discussed. I was using steroids through out the relationship and chose to come off them 6 months ago due to health reasons. Because of this my T levels are still shut down so bad that even my doc, who is anti-Hormone Replacement Therapy, wants to put me on it. HRT is for life, and I am only 25, so its a big choice to make as I am still hoping I can recover naturally.

But can my relationship take that chance and wait on a gamble? My head is all over the place enough already from the hormone crash and I am not feeling like a man should if that makes sense? i.e no confidence whatsoever, huge loss of weight and strength, mood swings, feeling like part of the furniture in group situations, not sticking up for myself in work or social situations..

Before anyone says it, yes I know taking steroids was a stupid idea. I played with fire and I got burned bad. But I am feeling so low right now and its not fair on my GF to put up with the lack of intimacy. I just need a place to get this off my chest as no one but my doc knows and hopefully someone has any bit of advice for me.

Thanks.

Taltos

OP - we cannot give any medical advice here. Any posts giving advice on HRT or Steroids will be viewed as a breach of the charter and may result in bans and this thread being closed. Can I please ask posters to limit your responses to the relationship and please refrain from medical advice no matter how tempting it might be.

Thanks.

Merkin

I'm confused.You say that only your GP knows you were abusing steroids. Have you not actually told your girlfriend any of this?

jellyboy

Hi op
the only pointer i feel is to talk to her ..
she seems from the very limited information to be staying with you due to a deep love ..

does she have this info you have shared in your post? or you haven't sat and talked to her about any of this ,
if its the latter then i would suggest doing it asap ,she's probably in the same head space as you ..worried ,anxiety,stressed and wondering why her beautiful amazing bf who she loves deeply doesn't fancy her ..
all of what you wrote is enough to set off within her self esteem etc etc ..

Women are amazing ,full of warmth ,insight ,kindness ,tenderness and above all 99.99 percent physic
She probably knows or has enough info to guess that there is something
taking place within your life


try to have that sit down chat and explain it in whatever way you can why it is that you can't be intimate with her ,it might just take that weight off her shoulders

real realships in my view isn't all about sex
its about intimacy on a deep level
one way to achieve that intimacy is to talk, maybe this journey you are taking can be shared

hold her heart in your hand and free her from stress and worry ..

Safe journey op

MissFlitworth

I'd agree that you need to tell your girlfriend what's going on, if intimacy has stopped and you're moody she might actually think you want to dump her. Are you afraid she'll be angry that you were taking steroids or are you feeling too embarrassed to tell her? Either way I'd bite the bullet, even just because it'll be really nice to have someone else who you can talk to about what's happening to you (and who is going to understand, in a smaller way, the 'fun' that dealing with hormones that are trying to wreck your head can cause).

You should be talking to your girlfriend about this stuff.. not us. She is an important aspect of your life and you should have the decency to tell her what is happening.

AnonMouse

For your own sake, share this burden with your girlfriend and maybe one or two of your closest friends. It sounds terrible and I am sorry to hear that you are going through this experience on your own. It may feel like a huge deal to tell people, but a problem shared is a problem halved. If they are true friends, they won't judge. An old saying goes "the ones that mind don't matter, and the ones that matter, don't mind." Keeping that stuff to yourself will only drive you around the bend completely.

I wish you well and hope you make a full recovery from this set back.

Neyite

MissFlitworth wrote: »

I'd agree that you need to tell your girlfriend what's going on, if intimacy has stopped and you're moody she might actually think you want to dump her. Are you afraid she'll be angry that you were taking steroids or are you feeling too embarrassed to tell her? Either way I'd bite the bullet, even just because it'll be really nice to have someone else who you can talk to about what's happening to you (and who is going to understand, in a smaller way, the 'fun' that dealing with hormones that are trying to wreck your head can cause).

Agreed.
OP, her big fear might be that you are playing away from home, that you want to break up with her, or whatever. I'd say telling her will be a big weight off your minds.

Most women understand what hormonal mood swings are like. And the ones that dont get them, usually have friends who suffer with them, so I'm sure she will empathise with what you are feeling.

Tell her.

seenitall

Hi OP,

talk to your girlfriend, and research the alternatives to HRT (before you go down that road), and make a thorough job of both.

TALK TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND, or you will most probably eventually lose her, and for what? Not for the lack of sex, but for the lack of communication.

Best wishes.