Depressed and lonely.

monguy

First time actually posting on here. Well for the past four years of my life has been literally a mess. Am 24 and made one mistake in life and well it haunts me forever. I always considered myself a nice guy but it all started with an ex girlfriend we broke up and well certain things happened and i confronted her about it ( big mistake i know) we discussed things and i thought i was settled but low and behold she went to guards about harassment and even an allegation of assault. At this stage i was a college student in 2nd year. The trauma and embarrassment caused by the court case which dragged on for over 18 months but finally ended with the case being thrown out. From the date of the Gardai being involved my closest friends vanished and left me without even hearing my side of the story it was presumed i was guilty as fair as they were concerned. It took me until the court case was over to start to socialise in my home town but them nights usually ended with smart remarks passed by people calling me "wife beater" and even when i tried to talk to girls having people saying " stay away from him he's knock lumps out of ya" i have never struck a girl in my life but being labelled that has basically killed every self esteem i had and ruined every bit of confidence. I went back to college last year and got finally finished my second year. But this year when i went back the friends i had developed heard the rumours about my past and well the relationships got strained. I felt isolated and ashamed around them, they began to treat me differently even started cracking an odd wife beater joke. In college, life was different it was fun and i enjoyed myself and got away from the suffocation i feel in my home town where holidays are spent working. i don't have any friends when am at home and its a lonely place and a horrible existence.

Unfortunately due to the taunting from my class mates i got down in the dumps didn't go into class stayed in my room only leaving to meet a girl i started seeing. I didn't consider them my friends anymore and felt isolated at college. I dropped that far behind i decided to defer the year and try and recommence next year.

That decision has turned into the worst mistake yet. i am now at home isolated with nobody to talk to hang out with and just getting down in the dumps. I can't find work and well i am stuck with no out at all. I never get calls or texts from anybody. I honestly don't know what to do anymore i have tried everything from counselling to medication but the issue of having no friends is crippling me the lack of a social life is destroying my moral.

I feel so useless and Lonely

Gremlinertia

Oh that's a terrible story. I feel really bad for you - there's a thread here called 'Let's be anxious/depressed together' it's been a liferaft for me at times, it would probably be a good place for you to find some support. Is your home place rural/small, can you meet other people or perhaps move away?. I'm not advocating running away but a fresh start where your confidence hasn't taken such a hammering.

In any case, post away, we'll be here..

sligoface

Well you say you have or had started seeing another girl, so it sounds like you have the perfect opportunity to prove everyone wrong by how you treat her, surely if your rep as a wife beater is as bad as you say, someone will eventually mention it to her and she can tell them that nothing of the sort has happened.

And most rational people are not going to label someone a 'wife beater' based on one incident that was never proven, if they do that, they're not very bright. There is two sides to every story, we all know this. Why would you want to be friends with a pile of judgemental gossipy jerks like that anyway? Forget about them, be good to your new gf and don't let the baggage from the last one ruin a new relationship, because that is exactly what your ex wanted to do was mess up your chance to be happy with anyone else, if she was falsely accusing you like that.