how to grieve for my dog

Lucyx

its almost 2 weeks snce my dog went to heaven and I'm really struggling.

I knew it would get worse before it got better after the shock started to wear off but I keep getting upset in work and I'm thinking I'm going to get worse again. I'm starting to miss her dreadfully and I can't accept that I won't see her again.

I need advice on how to get by even a little better.

I loved where we used to walk together and this always helped me if I was stressed cos of work etc but would it be a bad idea to walk where I walked with her (most days) ?

I still have her beds where she left them and I can't move those yet but are you supposed to move them quickly afterwards?

any advice would be great

Bullseye1

It will get better with time. I had no intention if getting another dog so soon after my guy passed away it just happened. And it certainly helped. I did find by gettin a female next I wasn't comparing them. Maybe if you decide to get another dog get a male.

wush06

One day at a time they say time is a healer I'm not sure but it does get better.

anniehoo

Lucy, first thing is...it is OK to be feeling like this. It really is.

There is no magic fix. As I posted before it really does take time and it's perfectly normal to be feeling this way so soon after losing your beloved buddy. Allow yourself some time to understand what has happened. The steps of Loss and Grief really are true.(denial,anger,bargaining,depression and acceptance). I don't mean this to sound so clinical and clichéd but I totally understand what you're feeling.

I didn't believe it myself until I lost my best buddy 4 years ago (I still can't quite believe it's been 4 years tbh) but I swear it will get better.

It's only been 2 weeks. It's raw, sensitive and so sooo recent.

Nobody can tell you when the time is right to put away their beds/toys etc...you'll just know. It's not right for you now and that's grand. Most people, like myself, miss the routine they never knew they had with their pet (walks,feeding,the little looks,the reason why you had to place a bowl in one place and not the other). It's all the little quirks and habits that you never realised you did...until they're gone.

Lucy,there are no rules for this. It's ok to feel beyond devastated, ignore anyone who doesn't understand...but you WILL feel better and the pain will ease. When? I have no idea. But, you will feel better eventually.

Just be gentle and understanding with time and time will be kind to you.

Every so often I have a browse through pics and videos of the pets I've lost. Sometimes I feel nothing and just smile....other times I'm a snivelling mess.

Do I think it's weird still shedding a few tears over my dog who's gone 4 years? Yes definitely but it's really only an emotional few minutes once in awhile. Do I feel weird that I compare my new cat to my last buddy who doesn't curl up in the crook of my arm when I sit on the couch but also sleeps in the same beds my other cat slept in? Yes absolutely.

These are the random things that I'll admit out loud because I know I'm not the only one.

You will feel better in time....but right now it is going to hurt like hell.

Mind yourself

SingItOut

My six year old Labrador, Frankie, died unexpectedly almost 3 months ago and I am still heart broken and feel like crying most days. My family speak about him everyday. Last Christmas Day I took a video of him opening his Christmas presents and looking at it a few days ago it makes me smile knowing how happy, healthy and loved he was and always will be. I made a thread about it on the day it happened and got some helpful advice from other users. It will get easier with time, take as much time as you need to grieve. You've essentially lost a family member. We made an album of all our pictures of frankie and it really helped. I am so sorry for your loss and know exactly what you are going through x

sparkle_23

The time will feel right to put away her stuff. You will just know. Don't rush into anything. After a while you will start to smile when you think of her and remember happy times instead of feeling sad.

This is a lovely website where you can make a memorial and it has really good articles. A vet created it after he lost his cat
http://www.theralphsite.com/

Lucyx

anniehoo wrote: »

Most people, like myself, miss the routine they never knew they had with their pet (walks,feeding,the little looks,the reason why you had to place a bowl in one place and not the other). It's all the little quirks and habits that you never realised you did...until they're gone.

Thats it exactly. I had such a particular routine with her cos she loved that and it was all nice and predictable. That was important to me as she was a rescue dog and I wanted her to feel that stability. And her bowls in certain places too and I had cushions on the couch so she could fully relax. I miss looking after her so much.

I do understand that I've to grieve and it'll take time and honestly shes worth all the pain and tears.

I definitely wouldn't be able to get another dog for a long long time. I had a very special relationship with Missy and a very strong connection and I'm not sure I'll ever have that again. I think we were made for each other.

I have gorgeous pix of her on flickr and I think you'd get the impression that she was a happy dog and content. I hope so anyway