friend very critical of my kids

Nanazolie

Hi

I have a friend who have 2 beautiful twins, but she can't stop criticizing my own kids and won't see the flaws in hers. I never say anything negative about hers, they are cute but like all kids can be mischevious and sometimes a bit naughty. Yet to her they can do no wrong and she let slip hurtful comments about my own kids, even though I think she means no harm.
My kids are pretty active and they sometimes drop things or shout a bit when they are excited, nothing out of usual there. Hers would do the same except she can't see it that way. She also can't see that her daughter will do things with a sweet innocent face so that in surface she appears like a real angel when clearly she is not
Last time it was the twins birthday, they all got very excited and her son and mine started pushing each other, before I could say anything she had told my son off for pushing hers but said nothing to her own son. She excused her son's behaviour as being excited by the party, but mine apparently had none :mad:


As a result, I have not told her that my youngest was diagnosed with ASD, I don't think she would understand it.

Things are going well between us when the kids are not involved, I am happy to see her outside her home. We've known for a long time before having kids. But when the kids are around I tend to fret and stay behind my kids in case they do anything that could start her. Unfortunately, because they are about the same age, we get invited to birthday parties, we invite them too, so inevitably the kids will be together.

How do I mention this to her without getting her defensive? Or should I just ignore it?

Thanks

LegacyUser

It is a hard situation to be in as some people don't like or want to know "what there little darlings are like".
A few times with family members I have to bite my tongue before I tell the children off but sometimes you have to say something to stop a child from hurting themselves or another child.
Also some people can't seem to say the word no to a child because they think it is mean but then wonder why there child is turning into a brat as they get older.

I would not fret or stay behind your children when you are all together.
I would tell your children that you don't want them doing x and y when they are in her house other wise they will be going home.

If she starts to give out to your children I would say something like this - I saw what happened and her child pushed your child first if this was the case.
If you find she is always blaming you children I would have a word about this when your both on your own. She may not realise she is doing this or she may tell you that she is finding it hard going with the twins.