Living on my own

manxlodger

Hi to all Im new to here.

Im a 51yr old male and i broke up with a girl 3 months ago that i had been with for 6yrs.
Im finding very hard living on my own not because i have to do everything for myself now as im not a lazy person but because of the sheer lonelyness of not having any company. I dont have alot of friends and the ones that i do have are married with kids and are also friends with my x wich dont help.
I guess im looking for advise on how to deal with this issue and will i ever get use to it ?

Czarcasm

Well you shouldn't have to get used to being lonely OP, you're only in your 50's, plenty young enough yet to put yourself back out there and start dating again.

You don't give away a whole lot in your OP but have you considered the usual like getting involved in clubs and societies in your area?

I'd sooner suggest physical mixing with people in groups than online dating tbh, purely because if you're just looking to combat the loneliness, it's easier to involve yourself in some group activities and meet mixes of both sexes rather than just putting all your hopes of a social life on one person.

manxlodger

I might just do that czarcasm.. Thanks

LegacyUser

Op it's really tough to live on your own especially after a break up. People don't really realise the void that is left when someone leaves and your on your own.

I'm in exactly the same position as you and I know how hard it can get. It's taken me a year to start taking control of my life again.

Definitely look into something social to do, maybe a night course in something you've always wanted learn? Your local vec or often secondary school will run night courses for adults at very reasonable prices. another thing I've found is to take some sort of group exercise class, something active. I'm learning self defence and it's something to do in the evenings that gets me out of the house and meeting new people.

Like you my friends are mostly settled with children and have busy lives so you can't always be down with them so cast your net wider and do things to make your social group wider.

Hope things get better for you soon op

Dixie Chick

Hi OP, you are dealing with the loss of a relationship so living alone will seem harder. However as advised above if you can cast the net a bit wider in anyway, try get out more, your lovely haven of home when you are tired wont seem so hard then!

manxlodger

I will take all reply's on board thanks to you all and have a merry christmass

Merkin

Aww there is no need to be lonely. You are going through a period of readjustment after a break up so you're bound to feel a little out of sorts.

You need to find new hobbies and social groups so its important to put yourself out there in order to expand your social circle.

I found this for you as well, seems to be a lot of people in your area in the same boat!
http://www.meetup.com/The-Kilkenny-Social-Club/

Maybe also look at Hill Walking or Ramblers clubs, wine tasting courses or other pursuits too. I think it would help you meet a few people in a similar boat so you won't feel so alone.

You will be absolutely fine love, like I say it is just a period of readjustment for you at the moment but you will soon find your feet

manxlodger

Thanks for that merkin.
The thing is i fell off a horse about 4 weeks ago and im still not 100% tho im getting there. I can only walk for a few miles at the moment so hill walking and Rambling are out, Also my x knocked the Confidence out of me and has made me feel so used to a point, and i hate to admit it, but she brought me to tears so my self a steem and Confidence in people are very low also.

CaraMay

Op she was only one woman and doesn't sound like a very nice one at that. Don't let the way one woman treated you ruin the rest of your life. There are loads of very nice ladies out there and once you have gotten back to yourself get up and go meet them. Try not to become bitter towards women - don't give her that power over you.

irish gent

Hi, you sound like a nice guy, but dont worry it will get better for you stay positve. There is a site called meet up on the web. Lots of Groups to join and you will be a very busy man when you see this site take care Irish Gent .

animum

Just a suggestion...get a dog...they can be wonderful company, and will always look forward to you coming home....great to get you out walking everyday. And at your own pace...

To meet someone new I would agree with all the other suggestions..:)