Women with kids

DaniWrafter

So question. Bi girl. With kids.
What's a girl to do?

Annasopra

I don't understand what the question is.

Are you bi with kids?

Is someone you fancy bi with kids?

DaniWrafter

mango salsa wrote: »

I don't understand what the question is.

Are you bi with kids?

Is someone you fancy bi with kids?

Sorry. I'm bi. I've kids. And I've found it to be a huge stumbling block when dating other women. It's a hard topic to broach. It can send people running. I don't see myself as being less attracted to women because I've kids.

I guess what I'm asking is how do you approach the subject or feel out how people will take it.

I've been thinking a lot recently about how to overcome it. How does someone (or why should they have to) convince people that just because you have kids doesn't make you less serious about dating members of the same sex.

floggg

DaniWrafter wrote: »

Sorry. I'm bi. I've kids. And I've found it to be a huge stumbling block when dating other women. It's a hard topic to broach. It can send people running. I don't see myself as being less attracted to women because I've kids.

I guess what I'm asking is how do you approach the subject or feel out how people will take it.

I've been thinking a lot recently about how to overcome it. How does someone (or why should they have to) convince people that just because you have kids doesn't make you less serious about dating members of the same sex.

Are they saying it's specifically because your bi and have kids? Or could it just be the fact that you have kids?

I'm sure there are lots of Hetero single mothers who have similar difficulties dating.

DaniWrafter

floggg wrote: »

Are they saying it's specifically because your bi and have kids? Or could it just be the fact that you have kids?

I'm sure there are lots of Hetero single mothers who have similar difficulties dating.

I know that too. It just seems that other women doubt my sexuality. It's really getting me down

pharmaton

I've a kid and has never really been an issue (granted she's not much of a kid anymore) but I suspect the fact there were never any men involved in our lives helped, made for less obstacles and complications.
I know a bi girl with a couple of kids and while kids wouldn't be an issue for me personally, it's the men involved in their lives which makes it a bit of a no go area for me (unfortunately) it's just a minefield of issues.

(I don't think she's particularly interested in me anyway, doubly extra sad face)

DaniWrafter

pharmaton wrote: »

I've a kid and has never really been an issue (granted she's not much of a kid anymore) but I suspect the fact there were never any men involved in our lives helped, made for less obstacles and complications.
I know a bi girl with a couple of kids and while kids wouldn't be an issue for me personally, it's the men involved in their lives which makes it a bit of a no go area for me (unfortunately) it's just a minefield of issues.

(I don't think she's particularly interested in me anyway, doubly extra sad face)

Thanks for the honesty. That makes sense and it's something that I actually never really considered

baby and crumble

I reckon it's partly to do with the fact you have kids at all- I know that for a lot of people dating someone (regardless of their gender) who already has kids could be a big issue. It must be hard too, like how or when do you bring it up? Do you say it straight out and possibly watch them run for the hills or wait and run the risk of them feeling you lied to them about something huge?

And like it or not, a lot of women will have an issue with your bisexuality. It freaks a lot of lesbians out. For some, the constant reminder that you were (assumingly) in a committed serious relationship with a guy would be too much.

Morag

DaniWrafter wrote: »

I know that too. It just seems that other women doubt my sexuality. It's really getting me down

Get yourself involved with the bi community, there is one in Dublin it's small but growing. Yes often people don't' want the hassle of dating someone who has kids esp when they are under 10 and there is that horrid notion out there that once you have kids and become a breeder then you are no long bi.

It's rubbish and tends to be ime a notion that younger people seem to foster.

Ambersky

There are also some of us lesbians or women who love women who would also love to have children in our lives and would consider you having children to be a good thing.
The opening line for a relationship I was in was "thats a lovely baby" and it followed on from there.
Have to agree on the men around though, unless it was one man and he was respectful of the relationship and the relationship I was having with the woman was primary and monogamous. That would also have to be lived and tested for a while but thats the way with a lot of things, talk is one thing, how it plays out in reality can be another.

Running Amach

Hiya,
many of our members in Running Amach have children and it doesn't seem to be a problem for them to meet other women.
You can sign up here:
http://www.meetup.com/Dublin-LGBTQ-Womens-Social-Networking-Club/
Cheers

pharmaton

Running Amach wrote: »

Hiya,
many of our members in Running Amach have children and it doesn't seem to be a problem for them to meet other women.
You can sign up here:
http://www.meetup.com/Dublin-LGBTQ-Womens-Social-Networking-Club/
Cheers

forgot about this, they organise family days out so you get to meet other parents in a family friendly environment, brought younger on day out to zoo a few years back and it was a great for her to be part of it

(having kids is not some secret aspect of our lives that is kept hidden from potential partners)

Annasopra

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I would advise everyone to report the PMs

Press the report post button if you receive a pm like this.