Am I in the wrong?

LegacyUser

I've been friends with this guy through college for around 3 years now, and have had feelings for him for the majority of that time. He was in and out of relationships (two long-term, one short-term) during this period so I never got a chance to act on my feelings.

About three months ago, he started hitting on me hard and our friendship progressed into something more, which I was happy to go along with as my feelings for him had still remained. This lasted about a month and a half or so. We ended up sleeping together (both sober, pretty much planned in advance) and things, in my opinion, were great. Until the next morning when he began acting very distant. The constant texting and flirting completely stopped on his end. I tried to keep up conversation with him (through texting or in person), only to be ignored most of the time. I eventually drunkenly texted him asking if things were ok between us only to be told he thought everything was fine.

Events happened in my personal life outside of college in the following two weeks which meant I wasn't in the right head space to ask him directly about his change in behaviour, and he made no move to talk to me about what had happened between us, or even why I was so upset. The only texts he ever replied to were direct questions about work, and the only texts he has sent me were also direct questions.

All of our mutual friends keep saying we are meant to be together, and I keep getting asked if we are still an item. We didn't make much of an effort to keep things a secret when we started becoming more than friends. But it is starting to get me down as I always hear "but you two are perfect together!".

In the past week or two, he has made several digs about girls not making the first move with guys, or how girls think with their heads and not their hearts. He also had a rant about how rejection is better than being led on (whilst staring me in the eye), and I couldn't help but link what happened with us to what he was saying. I don't feel like I rejected him in any way. He was definitely taking the lead with the progression of our relationship, but I didn't stop him at any point or think he was crossing boundaries.

I have been messed around in the past with guys and have issues trusting people (especially with physical relationships as I have BDD). I genuinely don't know if I should just give up on him, or reach out again and try to sort things out. One of my friends said it's the classic "he got what he wanted, now he's done with you" scenario, and another is shocked at his behaviour especially as he knows everything that has happened to me in the past with guys.

Have I done anything wrong here, or should I have gone about things differently?

December2012

Stop listening to other people saying "you are so perfect together etc". They know nothing and it's not helpful toto your situation.

Just go and talk to this guy face to face alone. Be honest about how you feel and ask him how he feels. Then you'll have your answer.

Typer Monkey

I second the above advice from December. If you were able to plan 'getting it on' in advance you should be mature enough to have a conversation about what's going on now without all this second guessing and passive aggression. Just talk to him!

heretochat

Sounds to me like he enjoyed the chase and once he got what he wanted his interest died..

I wold not advise chasing after him to be honest. It would appear he has no further interest

Idle Passerby

Perhaps he freaked out that the relationship was being watched and encouraged by others before it had a chance to get off the ground.

Regarding his comments about it being better to be rejected than lead on...he rejected you rather than lead you on to think he wanted something serious.