Love or Career? The eternal question

dilemmaguy

Sorry if this is too long.

So basically, I moved to another country about four months ago. It was a big move for me, I'm in my mid 20s and I had always wanted to go travelling. After a couple of weeks I met the most amazing woman. She is ten years older than me and I fell in love very quickly. When I'm with her, all my anxieties and doubts dissipate. However, at the back of my mind there is a nagging doubt. I never intended to go travelling forever. In fact, I've applied for a postgraduate course in the UK for next year. If I get accepted on to the course, I'll probably take it. Neither her nor me want a long distance relationship of this nature. She has got a life here, roots, old friends etc. I'm essentially just a tourist. I work over here but the money isn't great, I'm only doing this to finance a year abroad.

I haven't spoken to her about this. What should I do? If I stay here I'll be stuck in a rut of low income work, bleak career prospects and basically, poverty. I'm a little worried by the age gap. I feel we're at different stages of our lives, even though I do love her so much.

I've never felt like this about somebody before. I think about her all the time. She is so serene, gentle, perfect almost. I couldn't bear breaking up with her. I know she is very much in love with me as well, which makes it all the harder to contemplate leaving her. The thought of breaking up with her and her feelings being hurt make me sleepless sometimes.

I think I'm going to cry here.

Has anyone been through something like this before? I'd love for this to end as a love story but I just can't see myself living in this city for ever, I need a steady career.

Faith

Can you not develop your career in this new city?

CaraMay

Why won't she travel with you?

dixiefly

You say that neither of you want the long distance relationship. However, it may be more preferable than a complete break.

Also, is it possible to do the postgraduate course in the country you moved to?

I think that you should do the postgraduate course while maintaining the relationship long distance and then reassess the relationship, career prospects, locations to live etc. the decision may be clearer then and not as difficult to make.

hsianloon

Leave. Not worth it.

Sorry to say, but age gap is one thing, which you think is okay now but what happens after? Can I ask what the country is out of curiosity ? Just that in some countries it could be a ... trap, especially in poorer countries.

Not trying to ruin your love story, but hey spme hard questions you've to ask yourself.

In your 20s still young and idealistic. Come back to earth for awhile and think it through