is it selfish for a grown woman to up and leave to go travelling without her partner

LegacyUser

33, no kids yet, with partner for 3 years, living together 1 year. Seriously considering heading away for 3-4 months next year to see some of the world. My career took a turn for the worse (irreparably so it seems, no jobs anywhere in my area) so now I'm working in fashion retail on a casual basis. I spent my life studying and working for my career and barely got the chance to see the world. I would finance myself of course. But is it selfish to leave my partner behind? He works full time and can only take two weeks off. When we start a family, which will be soon, I might never get the chance again, which is a huge part of my reasoning. Any thoughts?

Queen-Mise

Go, go, go, go, and finally one last time, Go.

Your reasoning is all sound. I was concerned at the very start that it might be 6 months or a year but 3 or 4 months is grand.

Your partner might even come out in the middle of it for his two weeks. With internet cafes and skype you can talk to him every day - you can be one of those annoying FB relationships that people give out about on Ranting and Raving (wishing each other good morning & night etc) :D

LadyMayBelle

Go!!! Seriously! I regret having not packed my bags and travelled like this sooner! Go go go!

Czarcasm

I wouldn't think it was selfish tbh. More importantly than any of our opinions though is do YOU think you're being selfish, and what does your boyfriend think?

None of us here will be affected by your decision.

heretochat

Czarcasm wrote: »

I wouldn't think it was selfish tbh. More importantly than any of our opinions though is do YOU think you're being selfish, and what does your boyfriend think?

None of us here will be affected by your decision.

This is my take on it too. It matters not a jot to us whether you go or not but can you be sure that your OH is ok with you going?

He may say that he is but being away for such a period will put a strain on your relationship.

LegacyUser

Thanks everyone. Of course I did speak to him about it and he's supportive, sort of...well...he said he is but I know he'd rather I didn't go. Out of the blue he started talking about us going on holiday for two weeks but like right at the time when I would be heading away. I said "oh but I was thinking about maybe having my trip away around that time, remember?" and he said "oh right yea, of course" ...kind of a bit like he didn't think I was serious! So overall he would definitely be supportive but I do feel very bad, especially bad for even wanting to do this by myself, as a challenge I suppose. I totally trust myself, and him, in terms of cheating or anything like that...I just want to experience something before I settle down completely. I've had two major bouts of depression and was taking medication, it was to do with my career failing etc, so I feel like I need this to refresh my mind (if that makes sense!) .I can afford it, just about, but I know that I should be saving money for when/if baby comes along. So irresponsible! I just don't want to have any regrets

Stavro Mueller

As suggested earlier in the thread, why not have him join up with you during the holiday? That'd be something to look forward to and some nice memories for both of ye.

Brego888

Like the other thread her with the girl not happy with her boyfriend travelling for the world cup id have the same reply. Just do it. As long as you've talked it out clearly with your other half. Don't live with regrets about not doing it.

TwoGallants

gogogogogogo

my girlfriend is off galivanting and will be back soon. Time is transient. Its healthy in any case for couples to spend some time apart now and again, especially if you see yourself with him for the rest of your life.

suicide_circus

Go. But don't expect him to be there when you get back

Potatoeman

Long distance is though and youre going on your own may make it easier for him to get together with someone else. Lots can happen in that time. For both of you.

Have you talked about kids with him, does he agree with the timetable you have in your head? Does he want to travel and are you going to burn through your savings. Kids are expensive.

heretochat

unregistered wrote: »

he's supportive, sort of...well...he said he is but I know he'd rather I didn't go.

In other words he is not OK with you going but doesn't want to come across as the bad guy and block you from pursuing this.

As someone else said he may not be there when you come back, given his reaction.

MagicMarker

Doesn't sound like he's happy about it at all really. Go so long as you realize that he might not want to sit on his tod and wait for you.

Personally, if I loved my partner I'd likely want to share that kind of experience with them. Why do you not want him to go along with you?