Housemate Etiquette

pedanticpat

New housemate has invited several people over for 'lunch' today. Mentioned it to me in passing this morning, I said fine. Turns out that it's not lunch, but a whole afternoon of loud music, and taking over half the house, including the kitchen, dining room and living room. Their dirty shoes are in the office, which means I'm not going in there. Is this bad form? Surely 'lunch' is four hours ago, and I shouldn't expect my house to be taken over for this long? For what it's worth, I usually spend Sunday afternoon working in either the dining room or the office, the housemate knows this, and it's not possible at the minute with the noise (music and shouting)

Fr_Dougal

So you take up the office/dining room every Sunday and now have a problem with a one-off from your housemate? Either suck it up or get a place all to yourself.

Zab

Should have mentioned it earlier, particularly if they knew earlier, but otherwise nothing wrong with it at all.

dmc17

You're being pedantic, Pat

aujopimur

You're just pissed off because you were'nt invited.

pedanticpat

Fr_Dougal wrote: »

So you take up the office/dining room every Sunday and now have a problem with a one-off from your housemate? Either suck it up or get a place all to yourself.

Nope, I use one of them to do some work. They're not exclusively mine by any stretch.

pedanticpat

aujopimur wrote: »

You're just pissed off because you were'nt invited.

Nope, I don't particularly like this person.

Rekop dog

Perfectly fine from your housemate especially on a Sunday afternoon and nice of him/her to clear it with you first.

MadsL

pedanticpat wrote: »

I shouldn't expect my house

Found the problem...

MJ23

Have a ****

Canis Lupus

Start fapping on the couch. He won't invite people over again or at least, they won't come over....

On the other hand you're being sensitive, it's his house as well as yours. If this was 4am on a school night or he was doing this all the time then my opinion might be different.

pedanticpat

Zab wrote: »

Should have mentioned it earlier, particularly if they knew earlier, but otherwise nothing wrong with it at all.

Well, isn't that the point? If I'd known about it, I wouldn't mind, apparently it's been planned a week already. Also, lunch is misleading if they're only sitting to eat at 6. We went out at 12 and came back at four, thinking that should give them a bit of space.

WellThen?

It is a bit annoying but you have the option to have people over also I'd say. Tell them maybe to keep it down. But technically, this is the compromise with a house share.

The Dom

Walk around the house naked.

pedanticpat

Rekop dog wrote: »

Perfectly fine from your housemate especially on a Sunday afternoon and nice of him/her to clear it with you first.

Lunch isn't 6pm.

hsianloon

Chill.... You didn't ask further as well.

Plus if you're taking the room every weekend... he needs a turn too.

Ask next time. Poor communications

Santa Cruz

You probably told him to make himself at home when you took him in as a tenant

Santa Cruz

MJ23 wrote: »

Have a ****

Ya. into their dirty shoes in the "office"

BNMC

Only one solution here, burn the house down.

pedanticpat

hsianloon wrote: »

Chill.... You didn't ask further as well.

Plus if you're taking the room every weekend... he needs a turn too.

Ask next time. Poor communications

It's not one room, it's four. The kitchen, the office, the dining room and the living room. Unfortunately it's winter, so the conservatory is pretty much out too. I'm confined to my room.

Santa Cruz

pedanticpat wrote: »

It's not one room, it's four. The kitchen, the office, the dining room and the living room. Unfortunately it's winter, so the conservatory is pretty much out too. I'm confined to my room.

Isn't there anyone using the drawing room dawling?

pedanticpat

Santa Cruz wrote: »

Isn't there anyone using the drawing room dawling?

I don't have a drawing room.

dmc17

pedanticpat wrote: »

I don't have a drawing room.

You should get one. You'd be safe in there

Santa Cruz

pedanticpat wrote: »

I don't have a drawing room.

Why not convert the "office" so

Rekop dog

OP basically wants his tenants rent without them ever even attempting to have any semblance of a life in his house. Live by yourself or get ****ing real.

Artful_Badger

OP, tell them to piss off out of the office and pop in some headphones so you cant hear them in the next room.

If its a new housemate you need to set out your stall at the first sign of a conflict which this seems to be. Nothing worse than an asshole who thinks a shared house is a hangout for all his mates.

Santa Cruz

Rekop dog wrote: »

OP basically wants his tenants rent without them ever even attempting to have any semblance of a life in his house. Live by yourself or get ****ing real.

I can imagine the big grumpy head on him as he can't get access to the office. Maybe he should ring Joe tomorrow

pedanticpat

Rekop dog wrote: »

OP basically wants his tenants rent without them ever even attempting to have any semblance of a life in his house. Live by yourself or get ****ing real.

Ah feck off now, I'd never take over a shared house like this. It's inconsiderate.

MadsL

pedanticpat wrote: »

I'm confined to my room.

No, are you not.

Go for a walk/pub and stop whining perhaps?

pedanticpat

MadsL wrote: »

No, are you not.

Go for a walk/pub and stop whining perhaps?

I went out for lunch to allow the housemate the run of the house during the time they said they were having guests.

I have work to do, so the pub is out of the question.

MadsL

pedanticpat wrote: »

I went out for lunch to allow the housemate the run of the house during the time they said they were having guests.

I have work to do, so the pub is out of the question.

They are hardly stopping you working. And it is Sunday. And a one-off. It's not your house. You share it.

pedanticpat

MadsL wrote: »

They are hardly stopping you working. And it is Sunday. And a one-off. It's not your house. You share it.

It's distracting. I'm surprised people don't consider this to be inconsiderate to do this without letting me know tbh.

Mongfinder General

You didn't do your homework on this person. You should have checked them out more. Howver, not everybody is a great judge of character/behaviour.

Ask the tenant to leave. It's obvious that their expectations are not compatible with yours.

Santa Cruz

Let us know when there are any vacancies. I like the idea of these Sunday afternoon gatherings in the drawing room. Very Downton Abbey. Will the Lady Charlotte be dropping her knickers tonight m'Lord or will I send up young Jeffrey?

brembo26

He hasn't done anything wrong sure?

MadsL

pedanticpat wrote: »

It's distracting.

Ear plugs. Go for a walk to the pharmacist or shop and buy some.
Get a nose clip while you are there to deal with the smell of those 'dirty' shoes.

Get hard at work once the 'distractions' are dealt with and then you can live alone and not have to deal with people ever again.

Cd_doe

Are you just trying to announce that u have an office

Santa Cruz

I hope our replies have been helpful to you in this unfortunate situation. It has been a rather trying afternoon.

Canis Lupus

Getting naked on Chatroulette isn't really a job anyway OP... Take the day off.

fenris

The only room that is "yours" is your bedroom, just because you try to exercise squatters rights on the dining room table and call it your office doesn't make it so.

Setup a small desk in your bedroom and work away there, headphones are good too. Maybe toddle along to a nearby hotel lobby or somewhere that you can sit with your laptop.

You might want to have a think about the whole sharing thing especially if you start noticing other rude habits like not having all of the handles on the mugs pointing the same way or not arranging the jars in the press with the labels facing out and not even arranged by colour!

Davelarson

Your housemate did nothing wrong. You can't expect to occupy the dining room every Sunday. Get over yourself.

PizzamanIRL

Telling people on the internet should help.

princess-lala

Cd_doe wrote: »

Are you just trying to announce that u have an office

A laptop on the dining room table isn't really an office

Zab

pedanticpat wrote: »

Well, isn't that the point? If I'd known about it, I wouldn't mind, apparently it's been planned a week already. Also, lunch is misleading if they're only sitting to eat at 6. We went out at 12 and came back at four, thinking that should give them a bit of space.

We?

You say that if you'd known you wouldn't mind but most of your posts make out that you have an issue with it happening at all. You haven't actually said how many people were there, I'm guessing not very many.

So really the communication is the only thing you can have issue with here. I also don't see why shoes in the office mean you can't go in there, but you could suggest somewhere else for the shoes if they bother you. Just point out to the flatmate that the reality of the situation is that it means you can't use any of the common rooms in the house for pretty much the entire day, so you'd like to be able to plan for that in the future.

Joe prim

Sorry to see you got so many "witty" and unsympathetic replies to your dilemma. I would suggest that, in the best interests of avoiding future conflict with your housemate, and establishing useful boundaries around your respective needs, you arrange to sit down with your housemate , in a calm, non-confrontational fashion. Explain to him that his behaviour is outside the delimitations of how you see a house-sharing arrangement optimalisation situation. Open up to him about your feelings, and how they have been hurt by his lack of consideration, and the deep disappointment you feel at what you see as a breach of trust. Finally, having got your message across to him in a calm manner, bate the livin' shi*e out o' the fuc*er, all the time screaming "Its my house, MY HOUSE!!!!!!"


NB Advice dose not apply if housemate is bigger, harder or has a cousin a Garda.

MJ23

Ah shur it's grand lad

Davelarson

Joe prim wrote: »

Sorry to see you got so many "witty" and unsympathetic replies to your dilemma. I would suggest that, in the best interests of avoiding future conflict with your housemate, and establishing useful boundaries around your respective needs, you arrange to sit down with your housemate , in a calm, non-confrontational fashion. Explain to him that his behaviour is outside the delimitations of how you see a house-sharing arrangement optimalisation situation. Open up to him about your feelings, and how they have been hurt by his lack of consideration, and the deep disappointment you feel at what you see as a breach of trust. Finally, having got your message across to him in a calm manner, bate the livin' shi*e out o' the fuc*er, all the time screaming "Its my house, MY HOUSE!!!!!!"


NB Advice dose not apply if housemate is bigger, harder or has a cousin a Garda.

That will work even better if becomes so enraged he loses control of his bladder. The guards find him a tearful, urine stained mess.

Cd_doe

Joe prim wrote: »

Sorry to see you got so many "witty" and unsympathetic replies to your dilemma. I would suggest that, in the best interests of avoiding future conflict with your housemate, and establishing useful boundaries around your respective needs, you arrange to sit down with your housemate , in a calm, non-confrontational fashion. Explain to him that his behaviour is outside the delimitations of how you see a house-sharing arrangement optimalisation situation. Open up to him about your feelings, and how they have been hurt by his lack of consideration, and the deep disappointment you feel at what you see as a breach of trust. Finally, having got your message across to him in a calm manner, bate the livin' shi*e out o' the fuc*er, all the time screaming "Its my house, MY HOUSE!!!!!!"


NB Advice dose not apply if housemate is bigger, harder or has a cousin a Garda.

OP, I'd be more inclined to say nothing this time. It dosnt happen every Sunday?

Perhaps it's a once off and won't be like this in future.

You may be jumping the gun by giving out to him now.

My advice is forget about it unless it starts to turn into a habit. Then approach him...

MJ23

Piss in his milk.

Krispie

People, everyone appears to have missed the actual point of this thread....

There is a PARTY at Pats house at the moment and I'm sure he's just a bit too shy to ask us all around for the fun......

Tells us Pat, where is the house and we will go round and sort it out??

MadsL

Joe prim wrote: »

NB Advice dose not apply if housemate is bigger, harder or has a cousin a Garda.

Or in fact, as seems to be the case, it is not in fact HIS house.