Am I in the wrong?

afterglow

hi all.
Really would like your opinion on the following, as it's really bothering me now, but haven't let it do so till now, as I have had a very nice day in DCU today, finding courses etc.

The other night, croud from work were doing an event. It involved us walking an unfamilliar route, in the dark.
I needed a guide, as I can't see.
I wasn't meant to be doing the event at all, but due to people pulling out, being sick etc, I said I would step in to make up numbers, and was happy enough to do so.

Earlier on in the day, I was told who my guide was, and was happy enough with this, as I new the person. She's visually impaired as well, but has enough sight to guide, and as I said as I knew her, didn't have a problem with this at all.
Then, some way through the day, I was told my guide had changed, didn't mind this either as this person and I get on incredibly well, and she's not VI at all.
Fast forward then, to when we are all leaving for the event.
All of a sudden, this lady, whom was meant to be guiding me, says, do you want to go with this other person, let's call him Daren.
I said yes, because what else could I say, but was not comfortable with this in the slightest. A few reasons for this. I have worked with Daren on a 1 to 1 basis at work, and have had difficulties with him, this made me feel awkward being guided by him.
We are not advised to socialise with people like daren, whom we teach, which I do himself, so this made me feel awkward.
Add to this then, the fact that I do not know Daren, or anything about how good his vision is(he is VI) and I was just really uncomfortable and awkward.
A few minutes after we had went out, someone with no visual impairment came up to me, and started chatting away. I asked them would they mind if I could be guided by them till we got to town, and they said no problem.
I thought this was fine, and then when we got to town, I got another guide(no VI either) did the walk and as I thought all was fine.
Until today........
I go into work, I was finishing setting up a device for one of our trainers before heading off for the day.
I was approached by the same lady who paired me up with the man I didn't know on the day of the walk.
she started off very pleasantly, how did you get on the other day etc.
Then she launched into how rude I was to just leave daren to be guided by someone else. they wouldn't have paired me up with him if he wasn't capable etc. I told her that I shouldn't have even been there in the first place(not that I minded at all at the time, but now wish I hadn't bothered)
She said I was rude not to say anything to Daren, I said that I switched to the other person tempararily till we got to town, and that I felt more comfortable with him because he could see fully etc.
I also said that I didn't want to say anything to Daren, because I felt really awkward having been put in that awkward situation in the first place.
My question is, who is in the wrong, me or this lady?
I feel by talking to me this way, she is treating me like a child, and as I have already stated before, I shouldn't have even been there!!!!!
Thoughts appreciated and sorry for the length of the post

Matteroffact

Sorry OP I think from what you have said that you were in the wrong. You were asked if you would like to be guided by Darren and you said yes. You should not have agreed to this if it didn't suit you. You should have at least told Darren that you were going with someone else. How do you think that Darren felt being left there by you? I am sure he didn't know what to think. I know you were upset having to go with Darren in the first place but you agreed to it. You should not have agreed to it and then when you did agree to it you should have stuck to the arrangements. The least you should have done is explain to Darren that you were going with someone else. So I feel that you were in the wrong.

December2012

Did you leave him there without saying you were going?

afterglow

Hi December2012
Technically no I didn't just leave him because he wasn't guiding me when i asked the other person. I didn't say anything to him because like i said, felt awkward

Clearlier

I think that largely you did the right thing. perhaps you might consider how you would respond differently in the future should a similar situation arise. The person who told you that you were rude sounds well out of order but context is king. perhaps you could tell her that you're not comfortable being guided by some people but that you didn't feel able to object given the last minute nature of the change suggested that it had been unplanned.

December2012

Why do you keep referring to the fact you weren't supposed to be there as if that's relevant to your guiding walk?

You were agreed to do the event - end of story!

You were asked if you would allow to be guided by Daren. You agreed to this too.

Don't agree to things if you don't want to do them.

It seems to me like you were in the wrong.

Czarcasm

Hi afterglow,

Did your second guide know about procedures regarding mentors not being supposed to mix with their students?

I think your reaction under the circumstances was understandable, you were being left in the lurch and obviously being VI, trust in your guide is paramount. I think you did the right thing for yourself in looking out for yourself first.

This woman has no right to take issue with you when she put you in that position. If she thinks you were rude to leave Darren to be guided by someone else, then she has no right to take issue with you, because she left you to be guided by someone else, which was just as rude on her part.

username123

I think you need to be more assertive, if you didn't want to be paired with Daren you should have said so there and then.

However it's easy to say that in retrospect.

As for the woman speaking to you like a child, she could gave been a bit more compassionate but sometimes people don't show their best side when they're annoyed.

Big Bag of Chips

I think you are both a bit at fault. She seems to have taken exception to Darren being "abandoned" - Does Darren even care?!

But if you were uncomfortable with it from the start, you need to speak up for yourself.

It's not something I'd spend too much time worrying about to be honest. Chances are you're sitting there tonight thinking it over and worrying about it, and she's off out somewhere (or watch Children in Need!) and hasn't given it a second thought.

In the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter. But situations like that can be avoided in future, by you being confident enough to say "I'd prefer not to, thanks"

scabby1

I think they are in the wrong as your visually impaired and should be comfortable with your guide and anybody would or should know this but yet still these rude people never thought about that at all. I assume they work with visually impaired people in their jobs and i'm suprised they never thought how you would feel about this. Your in the right in my opinion and there in the wrong.

Big Bag of Chips

scabby1, welcome to the Personal Issues forum. Please read the charter before posting again. Txt Spk is not allowed here. It just makes your post more difficult to read. Take the time to type the full word, or refrain from posting!