Lost, upset and lonely

LegacyUser

Hi there,

So tonight my ex, whome I have remained friendly with, told me he has a new girlfriend and that we shouldn't engage so much. I am pretty shocked at my reaction to be honest, I am immensely jealous and feel really hurt.
My reaction is ridiculous, as I don't want to be with him. God knows, he begged me to get back with him often enough, but I just wasn't interested. I am in a relationship at the moment, it's turbulent and unpredictable, but I love him with every bone in my body.

I just can't understand why I am feeling like this. Even now as I write this I feel like crying.

He was so good to me and a real decent guy. Where as my boyfriend can be a bit of a prick at times. He doesn't treat me so well, but I chose him over my lovely, dependable ex.

Am I so upset because somewhere in my mind I think I've made the wrong choice? Even though I chose the bad, exciting guy over the good, nice guy.

I just can't figure out my feelings right now. Anyone ever felt like this or can give me any opinions?

Thanks guys

maria34

Maybe u regret your decision?

Maybe u realise u have only that "prick" now and the good lad is gone and treats a new girl nice?

Esoteric_

Sounds like you weren't as 'over' him as you thought you were.

Maybe him moving on with his life has made you realise that being with somebody who isn't very nice to you, isn't what you want.

Why would you continue to stay with somebody who isn't good to you?

As for your ex - as much as it might hurt you now, wish him well. He's being respectful to his girlfriend by easing the contact - a sign that he's probably a good guy.

Just remember why you guys broke up. I don't know your reasons, but reinforce those reasons in your mind, and try to find some peace with your decision.

wirelessdude01

Breakup with the boyfriend as by the sounds of it you don't even like him. No point being with someone like that. Take some time out of the dating/relationship game and get to like yourself. Be happy in your own skin. To me it sounds like you possibly can't live without the company of someone else which isn't good going forward.

heretochat

Esoteric_ wrote: »

He's being respectful to his girlfriend by easing the contact - a sign that he's probably a good guy.

I echo this sentiment. You are realising what it was that you had and comparing him against what you are with now. And your new boyfriend does not compare favourably it appears.

You need to let the ex go as he sounds like a good guy and showed respect to both you and his new partner by how he has behaved..

I would be concerned about your current relationship if you are calling your OH a prick by the way..

Matteroffact

I just think you are a bit selfish/insecure. You wanted to have your ex still available to you just in case, but you were not prepared to commit to your ex. The rug has now been pulled from under you so you are beginning to panic. I don't think that either of these guys are the right guy for you though. The ex doesn't tick all the boxes and neither does the current b/f. Keep away from both of them and find someone more suitable.

Stavro Mueller

My guess is that you were straddling two horses so to speak. You were using your ex for the part of you that needed friendship and your current boyfriend for the excitement you crave. Now that your ex isn't going to be there for you, you've a void in your life. One that your boyfriend isn't filling.

From your point of view it's worrying that you're drawn to this man who doesn't treat you well. There's obviously a part of you that craves the drama and that's why you dumped your ex. Perhaps this is a wake up call for you. Time to have a think about what it is you want. Is it really fun times and being treated badly by Mr Prick?

NicoleL88

KerriB00 wrote: »

I am in a relationship at the moment... I love him with every bone in my body.

...my boyfriend can be a bit of a prick at times. He doesn't treat me so well...

That's not love.

LegacyUser

Thank you all for the replies.

cymbaline wrote: »

My guess is that you were straddling two horses so to speak. You were using your ex for the part of you that needed friendship and your current boyfriend for the excitement you crave. Now that your ex isn't going to be there for you, you've a void in your life. One that your boyfriend isn't filling.

From your point of view it's worrying that you're drawn to this man who doesn't treat you well. There's obviously a part of you that craves the drama and that's why you dumped your ex. Perhaps this is a wake up call for you. Time to have a think about what it is you want. Is it really fun times and being treated badly by Mr Prick?

Cymbaline, I think you have hit the nail on the head. My ex is probably the most lovely, decent guy I have ever met. I valued his friendship very much, and I guess I enjoyed that he still valued mine. He was my friend, and now I will miss that, of course I will.

When I said my now partner is a prick, I didn't mean it so bluntly! He has his prick moments! He tends to speak and think later. I am also guilty of this at times.
We are at trying for a baby and it's not as easy as some seem to think it is, so to say we are both stressed at the moment would be an understatement. We both desperately want a family and when it's not happening, we are both feeling the strain and are snappy and irriatable.

I chose the exciting, passionate relationship over the safe steady one. I'm not about to walk out on it when things get tough.

My worry was the shock of how I felt when my ex told me about his new girl. I never imagined I would have felt jealous or sad. I have wished him well and he has said we will always be friends, but I know I won't hear from him much from now on.

I guess I just wondered was it normal to feel this way when an ex moves on. Funny thing is if it were any other ex, I wouldn't give a toss! Just a little confused!

Taltos

maria34 - per our charter text speak is not acceptable here.

Thanks
Taltos

Catari Jaguar

KerriB00 wrote: »

We are at trying for a baby

Not to judge, but is that wise? With your mixed feelings and confusion over your ex, is having a child right now with your curent boyf the best decision?

Podgers

Catari Jaguar wrote: »

Not to judge, but is that wise? With your mixed feelings and confusion over your ex, is having a child right now with your curent boyf the best decision?

I agree with you here catari Jaguar. OP you need make sure things are right in your current relationship before you make such a commitment. Speaking from my own experience sometimes people focus on such things as moving in, wedding, kids and as an event in the relationship to make them happy and then when there's nothing to follow it hits the Fan. Having kids puts a strain on any relationship and would be the ultimate test, if you are unsure about your current boyfriend things are not going to be plain sailing when the kids come along

ShaShaBear

Why have a child with someone who doesn't treat you so well?
Regardless of you glossing over him being a "prick" at times, he either treats you well, or he doesn't.
Combined with the fact that you already have admitted missing your ex, and acknowledging that he gave you what your current partner does not, that is no environment to bring a blameless child into.