Advice on girl for younglad needed?

Zed Bank

Right, I just want to start by saying im still very young (late teens) and I haven't had a relationship in about a year and a half, my last girlfriend was an amazing girl, ticked all the boxes so to speak. It was like no relationship with a girl I ever had before. It was especially special as I had worked tirelessly to get out of the dreaded 'friend zone' I had been stuck in for so long. Circumstance was monumentaly against us but we made it work, I prided myself on my 'go getting' attitude. Aswell at this time I was quite confident and outgoing, so naturally I was semi popular, but behind that exterior was an insecure wreck, I cheated on her a few times, probably just because It made me feel better about myself, my general train of thought was 'If I can get alot of girls fighting over me that would prove im fantastic' I don't know why but I loved manipulating and playing with peoples feelings, especially people who cared about me, gave me a sort of thrill. I supose the last straw with her was when I was out with her and enjoying a romantic day and I decided goin off and having a massive piss up with the lads was a better idea. That night she rang me in tears said it was over. We havent spoken since.
After that my life went spiralling downhill. I became a solitary cynical, quiet loner and have no further motivation to make or maintain any type of relationship with people. Its all completely my own fault. I engineered my own downfall. My mam was right when she used to say "your yer own worst enemy" I deserve everything I get but a part of me feels as there's unfinished business, I need to either get her back or make things right by apologising. Although I haven't talk to her in about a year and a half she did give me a huge smile when I saw her out and about a while ago but being honest I'm not even sure how she recognized me. Im a shadow of my former self. I heard shes with some other guy now who I don't know, aanother variable I have to factor on.
So recap
Dream girl lost
Need advice
Thanks for reading

popa smurf

It has happened to the best of us lad at some stage, when you have a beautiful girl friend you are on top of the world and your confidence is high and you think you can get any girl you want, its like a lot of things in life when you have a girl friend other girls seem to be more interested in you its the same with a job if you have a job other job opportunities seem to arise but if you dont have a job , no jobs will show up its the same with girls OK Now you are obviously missing this girl but the good news is if you pulled a cracker before nothing stopping you pulling another one, so pep you self up and get back out there you have many years left yet looking for the right one.

LOTD

I think you learned a hard lesson, better now than later. Also it was a year and half you say since you last spoke to her that's a long time ago, move on, your really young and also let her move on that's important.

Your feeling crap at an age where a lot of people feel crap and unsure about things in life. Take your "go getting attitude" but in a more positive way, don't play or manipulate people, you get what you give. Agree with popa smurf there is plenty years ahead of finding the right one.

Mammanabammana

You've definitely learnt a hard lesson but I'm inclined to think, as with most things in life, that honesty is the best policy. Why not call her to see if she'll agree to meet you for a drink? Meet up with her and explain to her exactly what you just said here. That you were young and foolish and did stupid stuff and that the longer time goes on since then, the more you realise that she's the one you want to be with. She might not decide to meet up with you, in which case you need to be ready to explain all this over the phone. And even if she accepts all of that, you'll both have moved on - she might be different, you might have idealised what you had with her, you might well find you have to go back to square one to prove to her that what you're saying is real.

But at the very least you'll have given it your best shot so you won't be left wondering. Just my two cents. We all make mistakes, stupid mistakes. But I do believe that for the most part, everybody deserves a second chance.