Is the number of facebook friends you have that important to you??

Gannicus

I went onto my facebook page last night to do some tidying up (deleting people from my friends list unliking pages etc). I really only use it and add people I would interact with regularly and semi-regularly. I usually interect with friends work colleagues I would talk to or socialise with, and friends and family abroad aswel.

I decided to delete a number of people (about 10 or so) that bar facebook and them clicking like on my pics etc, I have no interaction with. Anyway off I went deleting away thinking it's no big deal I don't speak to these people and about half an hour later I get a maill off of one of the people I removed from my friends list basically going mad that I had "unfriended" him.

Bear in mind I do not speak to, e-mail, text or socialise with this person and have not done so for about 2 years but I was berated for "....... ending a friendship of 5 years by facebook and being so cavalier about it." This bloke used to work in the same company and I originally added him as a kind of courtesy based on work and he had a couple mutual friends but he retired there a couple years ago so the little contact we had died off quite quickly. That's right he retired.... he's in his late 50's and he's worried about his number of facebook friends...

Has anyone come across a similar situation or would you be offended if someone "unfriended" you on facebook for the same reasons I have done it. I'm sure some people have unfriended me but I haven't even noticed if they have.

shedweller

No

BillyMitchel

Nope my FB is for college, friends around the world and fellow Dogo owners around the world anyone else comes requesting they are rejected. Want to tell me something, knock up to my door or send me a text. Some people have taken advantage when I've been drunk and get me to accept them.

I hate FB and keep it out of need rather than want.

My FB is ran tighter than Nazi germany.

Pretty ladies are always welcome too.

EDIT: yes OP people get very upset when they get unfriended - it's outright pathetic.

littleredspot

How did he know?

Riamfada

I think its seen as a list of contacts or network rather than actual friends.

gramar

I deleted my account in February. It's a pile of ****.

Gannicus

littleredspot wrote: »

How did he know?

I unfriended him and when he was online I popped up on his list of "People You May Know" then as we have a few "Mutual Friends".

iDave

Instead of unfriending people I just hide them from my newsfeed. Saves having potentially insult them by unfriending (OP has shown has precious people can be about it) but no longer have to put up with their bullsh1t on the newsfeed. Usually do it to people who are baby photo maniacs or always uploading soppy memes.
Did actually unfriend someone recently but that person deserved it for being a twat.

Dravokivich

I don't look at it as "facebook" friends. Anyone I've gotten to know through online gaming / online communities or whatever, I've simply considered them as friends/acquaintances. I've never thought to prefix them, with how I've gotten to know'em.

I don't have "Bar" friends, or "School" friends or "Work" friends, why would I label those online too?

sparkthatbled

I only use it for keeping in touch with family and not-so-close friends, I don't bother with it much, don't really like it, don't play the games or anything. I see it as a tool to help me keep relatively up to date with people i would otherwise talk to less than twice a year on average.


I miss the heyday of myspace, it actually facilitated meeting new people with common interests.

Toms54

Yea have about 60 friends, its far too many really, I must delete some of them.

GavRedKing

Hide from news feed is your best option.

Also what works is set chat to off, I've no time for chatting on FB.

danniemcq

You can only have a maximum of between 110 and 230 friends.

And i don't mean in a facebook way where you can have 5000 friends etc but your brain can onlu cope with on average 150 connections thanks to your relative neocortex size.

The number came from Robin Dunbar, who found a correlation between primate brain size and average social group size.

read more here

Gannicus

GavRedKing wrote: »

Hide from news feed is your best option.

Also what works is set chat to off, I've no time for chatting on FB.

I don't see why people have to use such "tricks" to ignore people that I want no interaction with.

Instead of hiding them on your newsfeed or hiding from them specifically on the FB Chat, why don't you just delete them especially if its certain people you are trying to avoid?

I'm sure someone or other has removed me from their friends list over the last few year I've had a page, but I'm not upset with them nor am I gonna mail them and berate them for doing it.

caustic 1

nope

TheIrishGrover

No. 'Cos I'm not a 12 year-old girl

Gerry91

I don't really add people on it anymore (this adding people you've met once or twice seems to have died down anyway among everyone I know- although it's probably still very prevalent amongst teens/late teens), unless I know them well.

I've never deleted anyone on it though and never will. Just because I don't talk to them in real life doesn't bother me. If someone posts up constant drivel I'll just hide them from my newsfeed at a push.

I don't take Facebook seriously- I use it to contact friends, throw up an odd photo and that's about it. It was so handy in college for group work and the likes.

I don't really get why people delete people, even those they don't really know, I don't see how staying friends with them makes any difference- like it's not as if you have to contact them. The sad thing is people do get upset about being deleted like in the OP's example. That's one the reasons I don't bother doing it myself- I don't see why they would but it is each to their own in fairness. Some people just take it very seriously, others like myself don't

The only case I'd agree with it is if you had to delete your ex or whatever, or you genuinely couldn't have a relation/neighbour seeing your material.

I've noticed myself being deleted by a few over the years, never had a problem at all!

dodderangler

GavRedKing wrote: »

, I've no time for chatting on FB.

Ain't nobody got time fo that

Gerry91

But I don't understand people with over 1000 friends at all. Unless you're a well-known public figure, sports star or whatever and you just accept every friend request you get

Most of the time it's as a result of the person just adding anyone that's been withing 30 metres of them at a house party/the pub. As to why they do it, an ego boost no doubt I can't really think of why else- unless their page is for business purposes of course

If you were only friends with people you knew to stop and have a chat with on the street if you met them, most I know would be doing well to top 200 friends

pundy

only people with "notions" about themselves would be upset with this.

Muise...

No, but strangely and shamingly, my boards friends list is important. Probably because it feels more cheering to make connections with people I haven't met IRL.

Legs.Eleven

Some people put way too much thought into Facebook. Just get on with it.

Gerry91

iDave wrote: »

Instead of unfriending people I just hide them from my newsfeed. Saves having potentially insult them by unfriending (OP has shown has precious people can be about it) but no longer have to put up with their bullsh1t on the newsfeed. Usually do it to people who are baby photo maniacs or always uploading soppy memes.
Did actually unfriend someone recently but that person deserved it for being a twat.

Yeah this is exactly what I'd do too

Some people take Facebook pretty seriously. By hiding them you can't see what they put up (and I'm pretty sure if you're that bothered you can ensure they don't see what you put up- though I dunno why this would bother people unless said person kept commenting on your material), and you don't risk upsetting them.

Personally I don't even need to block people anyway, I mainly just skim through my newsfeed and don't notice irrelevant material to me. I have blocked one or two of course (like in the example you mentioned )

But this deleting people you don't talk to in real life, I just don't get it. It's hardly too much of a burden having them as a connection on an internet site. The option is there to hide them if they put up crap, I'd never see a need to delete them.

TheIrishGrover

I only ever deleted two people from my friends list. My sister-in-law's sisters. And that was because both their 12-14 yearold daughters were dancers and their mothers used to post these pictures of them posing in their "dance" costumes. They were borderline pedophilia and churned my stomach. Jesus. I was actually afraid that someone would "catch" me looking up filth. Really disturbing.

They asked me if I had "unfriended" them (I don't know how they knew. Maybe because they didn't see any updates from me or something). I told them yes and why......

Gerry91

TheIrishGrover wrote: »

I only ever deleted two people from my friends list. My sister-in-law's sisters. And that was because both their 12-14 yearold daughters were dancers and their mothers used to post these pictures of them posing in their "dance" costumes. They were borderline pedophilia and churned my stomach. Jesus. I was actually afraid that someone would "catch" me looking up filth. Really disturbing.

They asked me if I had "unfriended" them (I don't know how they knew. Maybe because they didn't see any updates from me or something). I told them yes and why......

There is actually a good few ways of finding out. As OP said you might see them in "people you may know" list. Or if you go into "people who like this" on a mutual friend's status, and scroll down the list, that person that deleted you may come up with an "Add as Friend" caption beside their name, instead of "Friends". Or they could have clicked on your timeline and seen it there

suicide_circus

havnt logged into Facebook in months. keep in contact with all far flung friends via whatsapp groups now, find it much handier and more private/ discrete

josip

Very important. I have zero. I am extremely happy about that.

I don't look at my "Friends" list on Facebook - no idea what the number is now so I would never notice if it changes when someone deletes me. And even if I did realize, it's not like I'd get offended. Especially not over something as small.

Duggy747

Half the people I'm "friends" with on FB I just know to say hello to, the rest I pretty much unsubscribe from because of the inane shìte they post up ranging from angels, instagrams of their food, anti-corporate / "against the system, man!!"-type angry rants, to corny Tumblr quotes about love or some other bollox.

I'd say I only use Facebook to be in contact with about 6 or 7 people, only because that's the standard platform all of us are using at the moment.

It's really weird looking at other people's Newsfeeds. I've spent so much time hiding people and only following things I like that my entire Newsfeed is essentially- funny picture, funny picture, science fact, funny picture funny picture, science fact, friend's new photo, funny picture, science fact.

You tend to forget about the inane things people actually post on their profiles.

jaykay12

I tend to be friends with people in real life instead, and just don't talk to those I don't want to be friends with. FB can survive without me I think.

But bitterness aside........my gf was unfriended by an ex-housemate, yet another girl who lived there too wasn't. I can understand the curiosity there, "why me and not her" type thing, but all things considered......who cares.

Seachmall

All discussion between my actual friends is done in a private group or on chat. Only look at the newsfeed when I'm bored so I've no need to delete people.

birdwatcher

100 Friends - that's my limit.
If I add someone new, someone old gets deleted.
Simple enough.

salacious crumb

I regularly delete people and have had people then message me to ask why, which would probably be the first time they'd ever interacted with me on facebook apart from sending me a friend request cos they were sitting in the pub with me once, which is why I deleted them in the first place.

That, and inane sh*t appearing on my news feed like "I can't wait for cuddles with my bf". Christ on a bike!

I've also been in the pub with people who I have deleted or have deleted me, and I could not give a sh*t either way.

thee glitz

I mostly use Facebook as a back up in case I lose my phone and numbers.
I'm not fb friends with most of my actual friends who I regularly meet.
So that's a No to OP's question.

Gannicus

salacious crumb wrote: »

I regularly delete people and have had people then message me to ask why,

Yeah I deleted a few and he's the only one who called me on it. I reckon it takes a special kind of person to get all uppidy about the fact that someone no longer wants to be facebook friends with them.

salacious crumb

Big Steve wrote: »

Yeah I deleted a few and he's the only one who called me on it. I reckon it takes a special kind of person to get all uppidy about the fact that someone no longer wants to be facebook friends with them.

I know another guy who regularly gets in strops with people and deletes them, only to send another friend request a few days later. I deleted him too :pac:

we'llallhavetea

I hate how many friends I have on the feckin thing, I don't add anyone, the people I give a fcuk about are already my friends. clients add me and I feel obliged to accept them even though I know they are going to be more than likely appalled at the crap I put up.
my account is currently disabled for the second time this month, first time I knew why but this time? not a clue. really annoying

sadie06

I can't remember where I heard or read this nugget of information, but I very much agree with it:

An active Twitter user begins to like people they don't even know.

An active Facebook user begins to hate people that they do know!


I couldn't give a toss about my friend count. Surely that's for people of a certain age, as in below 20.

Unre4L

Yea, I deleted 200 people a few months ago, where about half of them I have never met. This was mostly prompted by a barrage of racist/xenophobic reactionary pile of crap following some tabloid stunt. I figured they offended me more than the other way around.

krudler

Nope, I have about 90, if it's someone I wouldnt chat to in real life or have a coffee/beer with then I wouldnt add them, simples.

tony1980

What's Facebook?

Amirani

I had about 650 at one point, then I started to remove people I hadn't talked to in the last 2/3 months and I ended up having 0 friends.

Potatoeman

I keep them to a minimum. I use it for chatting to family abroad. You realise that some people talk nonsense and many people just want to increase their fb numbers. I always try and ask myself if Im happy sharing personal photos with this person.

cloudatlas

It's good for keeping in touch with people who don't live in this country. If you're travelling you can see where everyone is and arrange a meet up easily. But essentially it's extreme voyeurism. The amount of problem page articles devoted to facebook etiquette is insane.

Sparky

Reminds me of a video I saw the other day

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6Bkr_udado

Personally the majority of FB friends I have are more so people I actually know and have worked with. Others I do see on a regular basis.

Khannie

The number of friends I had was so unimportant that I closed my facebook account about 18 months ago.


YEAH BABY! FREEEEDOOOOOMMMMM!!!!

Hugh_C

I had a stack of "friends" but only because my work brought me into contact with a lot of young impressionable (mostly) female students through my photography business. I quickly learnt to accept the friend requests rather than have them bitch about me, but I also very quickly chose to hide most of them. Call me a curmudgeonly f3cker, but I find the birthday reminder dead handy for unfriending people a few months later. I interact with maybe a dozen people on a regular basis. The rest I really am not worried about.

Freddy Smelly

Big Steve wrote: »

I went onto my facebook page last night to do some tidying up (deleting people from my friends list unliking pages etc). I really only use it and add people I would interact with regularly and semi-regularly. I usually interect with friends work colleagues I would talk to or socialise with, and friends and family abroad aswel.

I decided to delete a number of people (about 10 or so) that bar facebook and them clicking like on my pics etc, I have no interaction with. Anyway off I went deleting away thinking it's no big deal I don't speak to these people and about half an hour later I get a maill off of one of the people I removed from my friends list basically going mad that I had "unfriended" him.

Bear in mind I do not speak to, e-mail, text or socialise with this person and have not done so for about 2 years but I was berated for "....... ending a friendship of 5 years by facebook and being so cavalier about it." This bloke used to work in the same company and I originally added him as a kind of courtesy based on work and he had a couple mutual friends but he retired there a couple years ago so the little contact we had died off quite quickly. That's right he retired.... he's in his late 50's and he's worried about his number of facebook friends...

Has anyone come across a similar situation or would you be offended if someone "unfriended" you on facebook for the same reasons I have done it. I'm sure some people have unfriended me but I haven't even noticed if they have.

bugger some large fella called steve unfriended me on facebook... off to my crying chair for a good sob now