Co worker's horrible manners

pipster

I work with a guy whose office manners are appalling and don't know if its appropriate to make a complaint about him.

He burps loudly multiples time per day and only sometimes says excuse me. When I say burps, I mean a burp someone would make after drinking beer. He has burped in a female colleague's face, alone with me in a meeting and didn't say excuse me.

He eats his lunch at his desk (like alot of us) and eats about 2 packets of crisps per day with his mouth open and then licks every fingers finishing up with slurping every mouthful of tea.

He has also farted on occasion with one being in a meeting with me.

Finally he used to but thankfully not so much now, adjust his man parts while talking to me or pulls his underwear out of his backside.

I think he might have digestion problems but I don't think the burping and infrequent farting is acceptable in any work environment. He is starting to get worse and I think its unacceptable as they should be a minimum standard in work.

Boskowski

Why do you feel you want to make a complaint about him? Why not tell him yourself first?

TomCleverly

Any problem like this you should always go to the co-worker first and say it to them. I don't believe it fair taking something to management before talking to the co-worker. He could consider that normal behaviour and not think anyone has a problem with it. So discuss it with him, if you still don't get anywhere, take it up a level if needed.

pipster

TomCleverly wrote: »

Any problem like this you should always go to the co-worker first and say it to them. I don't believe it fair taking something to management before talking to the co-worker. He could consider that normal behaviour and not think anyone has a problem with it. So discuss it with him, if you still don't get anywhere, take it up a level if needed.

I guess I don't want him to think that its me being sensitive when its actually the whole floor who are irritated by it. My manager sits beside us in the same area so it wouldnt be an official complaint that's recorded or anything.

I think it might be better coming from a man than a woman as I've already had to talk to him about another issue with him undermining me when we are at the same level but he is a few years older than me so I don't want it to be me saying something to him again. He is also very comfortable apologizing about things he does but doesnt really change his ways.

Boskowski

Woman up girl. I find it sneaky to run behind someone's back to the manager or HR over something. If you have an issue with someone at least have the courage to say it to their face. Don't make up excuses why you couldn't should t wouldn't want to. They're just that, excuses.

December2012

If other people are irritated about it let them speak up.

You could, next time he does the big rude burps without excusing himself say "that's rude". But do not take offence or admonish him on behalf of the others or the women who he burps in their face - that's their problem to address.

Slurping tea - I think you should ease up on that to be honest.

Anything with a client such as in a meeting can be raised with a superior.

pipster

I know that I might sound like a wuss not wanting to say something to him and I am fully capable of being assertive for a lot of things however my concern is that he will hold a grudge against me for saying something or not be bothered as I'm not his superior.
A few of us have proposed jokingly saying his name when he does a burp so its not so official but he gets the point.

Bandana boy

How about a letter signed by all of you given to him last thing on Friday

If you cannot get a lot of signatures you could make it anonymous

Boskowski

Sorry I certainly didn't mean to belittle and I don't doubt your being assertive but i just think its better to speak to the person rather than go through superiors. For both of you. At least at first.
He will know where it comes from anyway and it will make you look weaker than if you spoke up for yourself. He might resent you even more if he was 'ratted on'.
Maybe could you do it in a very blunt but half joking way? Right there and then next time he burps or farts? Something like 'ah for gods sake that's disgusting will you ever cop on' with a mocking face on you or so?

Mrs OBumble

OP, I'd be very careful here: if could easily look like you are bullying him over bodily functions which he has no control over. If he's clever, he might even find a disability that they're due to.

And frankly some of your concerns (he slurps his tea and licks his finders) ... ahh, you're being just a bit too hypersensitive, IMHO.

I'm sure that your manager is well aware of his behaviour, and think that you should leave any corrections to him/her.

princemuzzy

reads to me and i could be completely wrong that you have a bit of a dislike for this guy and he irritates you rather than offends you in which case its your problem not his if this was reported to me i would tell you to get over it

TheBoffin

The most sensible thing you can do here is to request to move to another area away from said colleague.

amtc

I used to work beside a guy who ate his lunch at his desk, and then scratched his back down the back of his shirt with the fork. One night after he'd gone home I dumped forks and the mugs he left them in and conspired with the canteen staff to send him a bill. It stopped.

Jim2007

pipster wrote: »

I guess I don't want him to think that its me being sensitive when its actually the whole floor who are irritated by it. My manager sits beside us in the same area so it wouldnt be an official complaint that's recorded or anything.

Well if it is as bad as you say and your manager has a ring side seat, the question is why have they not taken action before now??? Are you sure it is not on you? Have any of your workmates commented on it?

I think you really need to reassess you position before you go running of to make complaints behind his back and keep in mind that you will also be questioning your manager's behavior up to now as well!

Wanderer2010

Surprised at the amount of people who seem to be belittling the OPs complaint. If that were me I would definitely make a complaint to the manager- that kind of behavior might be ok in the privacy of his own house but its not appropriate in a workplace, it creates an awkward and tense environment where people are distracted and cant concentrate on what they are working on. OP, go straight to the manager and outline your complaint, they have a duty then to bring it up to the person in a discreet and private manner. Its not an attack on him, its just an issue which needs to be resolved for the good of the working environment. Good luck OP.

camel jockey

pipster wrote: »

A few of us have proposed jokingly saying his name when he does a burp so its not so official but he gets the point.

Sounds like bullying to me.

pipster

To answer a few questions, everyone around the area is uncomfortable about the situation but no one wants to say anything. The joint comment with the two people beside me isn't bullying, we just thought that would be the easiest way to say something and it would only be one person who would say it.

Yes I'm not this person's biggest fan but if a friend of mine did that in work I would tell them its rude but its harder when I'm not that friendly with him.

Teyla Emmagan

Bandana boy wrote: »

How about a letter signed by all of you given to him last thing on Friday

If you cannot get a lot of signatures you could make it anonymous

That's a completely insensitive suggestion.

wandatowell

He seems like a bit of a pig.


A quick word with him about the burping, farting will sort it out. Not really much you can argue about when it comes to eating and adjusting his junk though.

Bandana boy

Teyla Emmagan wrote: »

That's a completely insensitive suggestion.

How So

taytobreath

Is there a person you can use as a "go between" i.e. a person that gets on with him and you can also trust. Mention it to that person that there are colleagues that do not like the flatulence and his behaviors.
Good luck none the less.

musicfan1ie

Can you not just have a quick word with your boss? Don't make it official and say it after a normal meeting that you have something you'd like to talk about. Just tell him that people have an issue with it and ask if he can have a word with him