Urinal Small Talk

Tribb

Do you make small talk at the urinal?

I generally try to avoid it unless with close friends as it makes me feel awkward.

kneemos

I like to talk to Willy.

wazky

Tribb wrote: »

Do you make small talk at the urinal?

Poor choice of words there.

D1stant

As in do you cum here often?

theblaqueguy

No I don't engage in small talk
I often get stage fright while using the urinal because people always comment on my enormous slong
So prefer to use a cubicle when theres one available to avoid all possible small talk

Paddy Cow

I'm female and even I know that's a big no no. Just like if there's more than two urinals you're not supposed to use the one closest to the other guy and are supposed to use the one as far away as possible.

thecatspjs

Always make small talk and lingering eye contact

Frosty McSnowballs

He'll yeah! Sometimes il use the same urinal and scream "DON'T CROSS THE STREAMS....AAAAHHHH"

Santa Cruz

D1stant wrote: »

As in do you cum here often?

Answer. Yes I do.

Reply. No wonder the floor's so sticky

FearDark

Why would ya do that?

Head down.
Piss.
Zip up.
Wash hands.
Half dry em.
Get the **** out of there.

0ph0rce0

When someone farts while having a slash i'll give the usual compliment.

"Niiiiiiiiiiiiice"

Tribb

Paddy Cow wrote: »

I'm female and even I know that's a big no no. Just like if there's more than two urinals you're not supposed to use the one closest to the other guy and are supposed to use the one as far away as possible.

No using the one furthest away is an insult. Use one that is in the middle if the furthest away and the next one.

hfallada

I went to a school with no staff toilets and it a bit awkward having a conversation with your teachers, on why havent you attended my classes in months, when you have your d1ck in hand.

I prefer using cubicles when they are free, as they generally dont have an inch of piss on the floor

wazky

FearDark wrote: »

Why would ya do that?

Head down.
Piss.
Zip up.
Wash hands.
Half dry em.
Get the **** out of there.

Where was the zip down instruction?, or do you walk around with your knob out for handiness sake?

Balmed Out

After becoming recently engaged some old fellow in his 80's decided it was appropriate to try to shake my hands to congratulate me. We were both using the urinals at the time.

kiffer

Tribb wrote: »

No using the one furthest away is an insult. Use one that is in the middle if the furthest away and the next one.

It's also important that you leave an odd number of urinals between you so that next guys that come in don't have to stand next to someone.

fathead82

While straining the spuds last week a lad come in and says,"hows it goin,having a wee are ya".

Untouchable Peasant

Sent pics of some crazy urinals awhile back. These two (1, 2) would make for interesting small talk.

kevin65

Using a cubicle solves the problem. Yeah, cowardly I know.

Tangatagamadda Chaddabinga Bonga Bungo

Tribb wrote: »

Do you make small talk at the urinal?

I generally try to avoid it unless with close friends as it makes me feel awkward.

I usually just wait until the other person starts his wee and put my hands out to block the flow and shout 'splash back, splash back,'! There's always wee everywhere by the end of it.

I have no teeth left from doing it as well, people are real uptight these days. :rolleyes:

At a urinal, a nod is all the conversation anyone needs.

moy83

I always rock up and ask is this where all the big knobs hang out ?

gifted

Was at a munster hurling game in Thurles years back and had a good few pints before the game, bursting for a wazz in the pub so went to the toilet, got chatting to some tipp supporter at the urinals and discovered when i finished wazzing that I pissed all over his leg ...zipped up and legged it just as he spotted it..:D

henryporter

Years back, I used to have a boss who liked to have work discussions over the cubicle wall. Hard to drop the torpedo when the guy next door is addressing you by your name and not appearing to have any problems throwing a few skitters in at the same time:eek:

Paco Rodriguez

No I never talk at a urinal, nor talk over a cubical wall. I think its inappropriate, friends or no friends.

It bugs me when you sense someone looking over about to start a conversation...."The size of that! Thats some disinfectant tablet boi!"

Paddy Cow

Tribb wrote: »

No using the one furthest away is an insult. Use one that is in the middle if the furthest away and the next one.

Oops my bad.

Better brush up on my urinal etiquette.

Question for guys. I know women use men's cubicles in nightclubs when the ladies are full but have you ever seen a woman trying to use a urinal? (I saw it in a film once, think it was The Full Monty?)

pjproby

I was in a pub recently, in the cubicle, two fellas arrived to use the two urinals. great deal of noise ensued, One fella said 'jaysus, you're making a lot of noise there'
second fella says 'yeah, Me prostate is killing me'

still wondering what he was doing.

thecatspjs

gifted wrote: »

Was at a munster hurling game in Thurles years back and had a good few pints before the game, bursting for a wazz in the pub so went to the toilet, got chatting to some tipp supporter at the urinals and discovered when i finished wazzing that I pissed all over his leg ...zipped up and legged it just as he spotted it..:D

wtf :eek: how did you manage that?!

gifted

thecatspjs wrote: »

wtf :eek: how did you manage that?!

So pissed that when I turned to talk to him I turned the little rebel as well

wp_rathead

Only small talk I use in the jacks "No thanks, I don't want any aftershave"

dd972

I wonder if Cokeheads have an unspoken Gak code of etiqutte in washrooms?

creep

Just start Sniffing really really loud while looking at them and breathe out saying AAh. Really freaks people out.

Eutow

There is absolutely no talking, EVER.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4iRJfOf1xA

Blitzkrieger

I find it usually depends on the size of the town. Down my local there's loads of chat in the jacks. In the city there's none.

Was shocked when I was in Waterfront city and a fella next to me started chatting to me at the urinals :eek:

salacious crumb

Worse than standing beside someone at a urinal, when you're at an outdoor gig and they have those four way pissers, so you're actually staring someone in the face when you piss. Who's f*cking idea was that?

gobnaitolunacy

D1stant wrote: »

As in do you cum here often?

'Is this where all the big nobs hang out?'

anncoates

Anything more than a terse, manly nod before attending to the matter (in) hand and your passport is being stamped at the Gayness Frontier.

whirlpool

I hate when i'm standing at the sink washing my hands and the guy pi**ing in the urinal nearly breaks his neck turning around to see who I am.

Just fu**ing do your p**s and don't be mindin who's at the sink!!

anncoates

whirlpool wrote: »

I hate when i'm standing at the sink washing my hands and the guy pi**ing in the urinal nearly breaks his neck turning around to see who I am.

Just fu**ing do your p**s and don't be mindin who's at the sink!!

How would you know he's looking at you unless you've turned around to look at him?

Darkglasses

No talking, no nodding.

Savoir.Faire

I'm not a fan of engaging in small talk or 'banter' when draining the lizard. The only place where it seems to happen as a matter of course is in Cork. Some big red-faced goon bursting through the door, dropping the Wranglers, pulling out the todge, turning the head and saying, "How's it cutting there, buoy?" or some other colloquialism.

Agricola

I'd avoid it. Hate when your at a urinal and some old fella sidles up beside you, looks straight into your ear and starts talking about the weather or some shít.
Eyes forward buddy, eyes forward.

gifted

Savoir.Faire wrote: »

I'm not a fan of engaging in small talk or 'banter' when draining the lizard. The only place where it seems to happen as a matter of course is in Cork. Some big red-faced goon bursting through the door, dropping the Wranglers, pulling out the todge, turning the head and saying, "How's it cutting there, buoy?" or some other colloquialism.

Your wrong..we would say " Hey Langer, how're they hanging " "How's it cutting there" would mean your from Laois or Carlow or one of those places

whirlpool

anncoates wrote: »

How would you know he's looking at you unless you've turned around to look at him?

So when exactly was the last time you were at a sink that didn't have a mirror?

BBDBB

Test your Urinal Etiquette knowledge with this handy game

http://www.gamegape.com/en-56851-the-urinal-game.html

I am ashamed to say I got 5/6 right