How can I deal with her

trytilidie

I have been with my gf for 6 months now, the first month we spent together the next 3 months we spent apart as we had to work in different countries, but not one day went by that we didnt speak for up to 2/3hrs through out the day.

Because we only just began dating she was still worried about me meeting someone else while we were apart and almost every week i had to deal with her having a "meltdown" over the phone or skype .she would say thing like I know you are seeing someone else , "my gut tells me that you aren't interested any more". Or if if i didnt text or call her for some time through out the day she would start questioning my interest in making the long distance relationship work.

my mates told me that she is crazy ,too need , too clingy and just too much to handle.
any way the 3 months we spent apart are over and now today we hit 6 months ...

I thought once she returned i wouldnt have to worry about her having meltdowns again but i was wrong, i received an earful all too often in the last 2 months she returned, thing is once she has this meltdown she blames it on "its just the way her mind work" .



my long time friend a female...whom i see as a sister at this stage , I have never looked at her in a sexual light ever . well she met my gf and then i told my gf how we met , this girl took me in when i was at my lowest , fed me, helped me in my first year of college. my gf was having none of it , she gets in a mood saying she feels like im closer to my friend than i am with her and she doesnt want to compete with her , im like wtf ..i let it slide because thats the type of guy i am .


Im very reserved ,quiet and i tend to keep things to myself as I know i can deal with things myself but she gives out, complaining that im not open enough ,and that its my fault that im the one making her think that i want to see other girls because me not telling her things makes her paranoid, and because im not telling her things she starts to think that im unhappy in the relationship.

albeit i still find myself in love with this girl, i know it sounds like i have just bashed her but i really love her, she has so many amazing attributes i wouldnt have time to type out , I just need to know how can i deal with someone with this level of paranoia and lack or trust for me , when i havent done a thing to prove undeserving of her trust . she reads my messages goes through my facebook , there was even an incident where she misread something and flew off the handle .

She has been hurt before i understand that , but i just ask to be given a chance.
I know for a fact, I know not one guy would put up with what she has put me through in the last few months .

just please give me tips on how i handle things .

Esoteric_

How you handle things?

Honestly, there are two choices - put up with your jealous, hysterical, controlling, paranoid, obsessive partner and be absolutely miserable a year from now.

Or leave. Run like hell, cut all contact, tell her explicitly why you're leaving so that she might take a good look at herself, take some time to get over it, and be happy.

What she's doing isn't 'normal' jealousy. It's abusive.

December2012

I don't think you can do anything about this situation, other than leave it.

Your girlfriend is using you as an emotional punchbag to express all her jealousies and insecurities. You have done nothing wrong, yet she still has meltdowns.

You could and may be the nicest guy there is to her - she still completely overreacts. Like wtf, she's jealous because you were lucky enough to have a friend who helped you when you really needed it - and SHE has a problem with it because of how it makes her feel. That's always what is more important to her - her feelings, her excuses for herself (just the way I am").

Ask this woman to go see a mental health professional to deal with her insecurities.

This could be the start of an abusive relationship. Be careful.

Legs.Eleven

If this is what is happening at only 6 months in to the relationship, can you really picture yourself putting up with this long-term?


This girl has to take responsibility for herself and seek help. She's putting the blame on you for her insecurities and it's deeply unfair and you shouldn't have to put up with it.

I've had my own jealous moments in the past (although nothing like your girlfriend) when I was in my early 20s but I was very aware they were my problem and although I did a good job keeping them under wraps, those relationships didn't last. Jealousy and distrust are toxic in a relationship.


You need to explain to her calmly that if she wants to continue with you, she's needs to go and speak to someone. There's jealously and there's this. She doesn't sound well at all.


Good luck OP.