Love or In love

LegacyUser

I've been with my boyfriend for over a year. On Friday we had a chat, basically we haven't been having sex in a few weeks. He pulls away and said we should talk about it. He said he was worried that we were becomming just friends
We spend a lot of time together and when we dont were in constant contact

Ive brought up to him before thst we dont ever have date night, its a lot of hanging out with his friends and hanging out together. The last time we went to dinner was 9 months ago.

I love him and don't wsnt to loose him, he said the same. We said we'll meet next week and talk about things.

Has anyone gone through this before?

Esoteric_

Do you initiate sex? If he pulls away, I'd be asking why. If I'm in a relationship for a year, I'd generally still be at the 'ripping their clothes off' stage, even if I were seeing them a lot and talking to them a lot.

Obviously, you guys need to start spending more time together as a couple, going on dates and things like that. But if he's pulling away when you initiate sex, that sounds like more than just boredom and it'd be something that needs serious discussion, in my opinion.

wirelessdude01

Who normally initiates sex? Do ye still have oral sex and maybe not penetrative sex?

LegacyUser

For the past couple of weeks its been me. It was always. 50/50 before that

Yeah and we were still having oral/ non penetrative sex

wirelessdude01

heartbroken_1984 wrote: »

For the past couple of weeks its been me. It was always. 50/50 before that

Yeah and we were still having oral/ non penetrative sex

Maybe he has something worrying him then that he hasn't told you about?

LegacyUser

I know hes quite serious about settling down soon, hes a bit older than me.

Im willing to fight for him. I love him so much

Merkin

It shouldn't be this much hard work. And I'd always be concerned at a shift in sexual desire like this. Seems like you both need to have a serious chat and ask those difficult questions to establish what exactly is going on and whether you have a future together.

LegacyUser

Our relationship never felt like hard work.

I'm just wondering if a break is just showing the inevitable breakup?

Hes been super stressed too about his family and finances...

Witchie

I went through a similar thing with my now ex boyfriend a few months ago. We are on a course together but still wouldnt get any time together really outside of loads of friends there too. If I am honest, I love him to bits but I fell out of love with him and wasnt interested in sex with him.

So it maybe a case that he is feeling like it is over and that you are really just friends. The only way to find out is to talk about it.

My ex and I are really good mates still which is a good thing since we are still on the course together and we share mutual friends.

MugMugs

I think he needs to sort his head out and actually realize what he wants.

Would you consider a bit of time apart while you both do this?