Thurs funums

MonkieSocks

Doctor to girl: Now miss, take off your shirt and lie down on the table there.

Girl: (Hesitates, giggles)

Doctor: What's the matter? Have you never been examined before?

Girl: Of course I have been examined before, but never by a doctor!

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A man walked into the doctor's office.

He had a carrot in one ear, a stalk of celery in his other ear and a grape in each nostril.

He asks the doctor, "Doctor, what's wrong with me?"

The doctor looks at the guy and says, "Well, you're not eating properly."

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A Catholic priest and a rabbi go duck hunting together.

After spending ten miserable hours huddling in a cold, wet duck blind, they still haven't bagged a single bird.

"This is boring," says the priest. "We should've brought along some choir boys to screw."

"Out of what?" asks the rabbi.

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A woman is out driving with her four-year-old daughter.

"Mommy, mommy!" says the little girl.

"Where are all the cocksuckers, assholes, and bastards today?"

The woman replies "They only come out when your father's driving, dear."

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An old man is sitting on a park bench feeding the pigeons when an adorable four-year-old girl walks by with a puppy on a leash.

"Well, well," says the old man. "Aren't you a pretty little thing!"

The little girl giggles shyly. "Thank you" she says, digging her toe into the ground.

"What's your name?"

"Sally."

"And what's your cute little puppy's name?"

"Porky."

"Aha! I'll bet you named him that because he's all pink and chubby, like you!"

"No," says the little girl. "We named him 'Porky' because he likes to Fook pigs!"