Life decisions

LegacyUser

Hi all.

Blessed to have beautiful child which I am extremely grateful for. After ALOT of soul searching ect I have come to the realisation I will likely not get self fulfilment in career that I am qualified for resulting in me becoming deeply unhappy.

I feel I have found a career that would likely give me huge seas of satisfaction. However the jobs front in this front are few and far between.ie common knowledge that job security and permanency could take years to obtain.

To gain such a position I would need to study for 4 years. My child will be entering 2nd level a few months after I graduate if I take this route and I most likely will not have secured a job at this stage.

In an ideal world if I had financial security / support in some form I would go for it in a heart beat.

Is it selfish of me to persue something I feel would make me happy at a time I have a child depending on me? I feel miserable at the thoughts of working in a sector / career that I have no passion for. Ie working for that pay check.

Should one try and achieve self fulfilment and take a big gamble on something that would make them happy career wise OR for the sake of a dependant get on with a job they will be miserable in to provide financially.

What is more important.

ivytwine

Is there anyway to do the course part-time, or through FETAC and then go on to do a university degree? Have you researched grants?

It's tricky to find a balance. Obviously if your child sees you studying that's a brilliant example for them as they move into teenage years, time where it's really easy for the path to diverge and being cool is more important that the future.

However, I know what it's like to grow up without a lot of money, and it's very tough during the early teen years. Secondary school is even more expensive than primary school and there's a lot of peer pressure. I grew up in Celtic Tiger times and I remember one particular b***h showing off her €200 MAC set (I think it was only part of her present too!) when we were around 16 and asking me in a loud voice what I got for Christmas... I was used to being the poor kid at that stage and I think I said something like, "we don't use money to prove our love for each other in my family" but it depends on the kid. Some kids hate being odd ones out, some get used to it. Now at nearly 25 I'm glad I grew up the way I did, because I think it helped me become a stronger person.

Things are different now, and will be different in another 4 years. I think you have a difficult decision to make. Financial security is all very well but an unhappy mother is a worry to a child too. I remember my mother working in a really ****ty pub job and it was wearing her down; it actually worried me seeing her so tired and stressed and it didn't matter that we had more money, she hated it, the hours were long and the manager unpleasant.

In a nutshell, if you think not pursuing your dream and aiming for financial security is going to make you desperately unhappy,then I'd say go for it and take the chance. A child, especially an only child of a single parent, is more involved and aware of a parent's life than I suspect the parent knows, and your child will know that you're unhappy and will wish they can change it. However, I think you should look at all your options. Maybe there's a roundabout way of getting there that will allow you work part-time.

Good luck and fair play to you for raising a kid on your own. No-one ever gives single parents credit, but it's a lot tougher than many realise! x