Dont Know what to do

LegacyUser

Hi folks

Im recently after meeting a lovely girl ,we have been seeing each other for about 4 weeks now, we get on great and have loads of stuff in common,she is one of those girls that seems to get on well with everybody and to be honest im mad about her,and really enjoy her company, Last night she came over to my place brought over a few drinks and we were just planning having a relaxing night, After a few drinks she kinda opened up a told me some of her darker secrets, she told me she tried to commit suicide twice a few years after her mother died when she was twenty, that really kinda knocked me back, but then she told me her father commited suicide when she was 9 , and even more crazier again her granfather also commited suicide, this i found abit too much ,but she got emotional and said after her mother dying her life feel apart ,she was living on her own and got depreesed and turned to drink, and her life basically just went to ****,Shes hoping i wont judge her because she comes from a small village where everybody knows everybody business and she wanted to tell me first before someone else told me,She told me she Loves me which in fairness is kinda freaking me out we only know each other 4 weeks ,but we are spending alot of quality time together, Im also afraid that if i do break up with her she may fall off the wagon again and god knows what she might do, she told me this is the happiest shes been feeling in a long time, Im still mad about her , and we seem to have that connection where everything justs clicks , but after last night i feel like im just after getting a slegehammer in the face!!! to be honest i dont know what to do

downwesht

While this girl obviously has an upsetting history she is comfortable and confident enough to confide in you.This shows that she is "in" to you and wants to look forward to a future with you.Take things slowly and keep communicating and don't be too paranoid about things she says and does,she is looking for a better time...give it too her!

Merkin

You don't need to do anything for now but you do need to take things slowly and see how this progresses. Not because of her mental health issues in the past necessarily, more because it sounds like she has fallen for you very quickly and it's best not to dive in head first if she is emotionally fragile.

Continue enjoying her company and getting to know her. It took a lot for her to tell you this but there is no compunction to stay with her because of what she might do. Likewise there is no need to break things off because of her family history.

Take it nice and slow and see what happens, it is still very early days and its important not to make grand statements when you're still not sure.

alias06

This girl has obviously been through the mil. In fact she has been to hell and back and she understandably she still has her vulnerabilities. Given where she is coming from she will always be somewhat fragile and will need to be handled with care. That doesn't mean she is not a good and beautiful person. Its not her fault her dad committed suicide and her mother died when she was still relatively young. Its understandable that someone would themselves get depressed in those circumstances. Her mother was most likely her last remaining support. Christ, who could blame her? You like this girl and she likes you. She has opened up to you about all this. I know it might seem scary but everyone has dark secrets, she has just been honest and told you about all the terrible stuff that has happened to her. She obviously has a lot of strength and good qualities too to have survived and come through all that. Basically what I am saying is you shouldn't hold it against her. If you feel that you click, you both like each other then go for it. But be aware of her vulnerabilities also. Don't mess her around and don't make promises you can't keep. Be honest with her and be kind to her. That's the best you can do.

chubnut

I always find it endearing so many people treat Human beings as if they are robots with a few fixable loose wires. Truth is there's huge number of people out there with mental problems caused by a multitude of disorders that are not even getting treated ( care in the community) Merkin is right, you do need to take it slow and you owe it to yourself to dig out this village and find out everything you can, that way you are armed with the knowledge to make informed decisions.

R.D. aka MR.D

I have a lot of complicated history and i usually tell guys early enough on to make sure that they are worth my time.

If they run a mile after hearing about my past and my occasional problems then he isn't the person for me. i know some people can't deal with that kind of history and that is perfectly fine.

What you need to do is decide if you are able to handle it and not judge her.

Was she drunk when she said she loved you? I've been guilty of that little slip once, was drunk and told the guy i loved him after about 2 months. I liked him a lot but didn't love him Luckily he knew it was just drunk chat and didn't hold it against me.