How do I tell a friend her bra cup size is too small?

LegacyUser

and should I even do that? I fear she might be doing it for "effect" and guys have remarked on her attractiveness. Would an anonymous note do it? or is there even any point?

I do not want to offend her, shes lovely. How would people take it?

R.D. aka MR.D

i'm not sure exactly what you mean?
Are her breasts pushed up?

Why do you feel like you need to tell her?

Obliq

idunno# wrote: »

and should I even do that? I fear she might be doing it for "effect" and guys have remarked on her attractiveness. Would an anonymous note do it? or is there even any point?

I do not want to offend her, shes lovely. How would people take it?

Badly?! Why do you want to tell her? To give you the benefit of the doubt, is it because you think it looks silly, she doesn't know and might like to be informed?

Whatever your reason, my advice is say NOTHING whatsoever about your friend's dress sense in any way, shape or form (that's a phrase for a reason, I reckon!). It's her choice, her way of looking at herself and you should avert your eyes if you have to!

deex

oh gosh.. definitely don't do that! maybe she doesn't realise, maybe she likes that particular look... there's absoluetely NO need for you (or anyone else) to comment, i know if i was told something like that it would absolutely mortify me and hurt my feelings. you say yourself she's a lovely person... just leave it be!

Big Bag of Chips

Usually if a person is wearing a bra that is too small it gives the look of having 4 boobs.... NOT an attractive look! And not one that fellas tend to find attractive.

Do you know she is wearing a bra that is too small, or maybe it's deliberately low cut to show as much flesh as she can?

Are you bothered that guys comment on her attractiveness? Or are they commenting that it is not attractive, and you'd like to improve her chances with them?

You could bring up in conversation about getting measured.. but I wouldn't be inclined to tell her outright that she us wearing the wrong size.

DoozerT6

Hold on...is she wearing a push-up bra for effect when ye are going out, or is this just in her day-to-day wardrobe? tbh, if she is wearing a bra that is clearly too small for her at work or whatever, ie boobs spilling out which is obvious underneath tight clothing, I really think you should casually mention it to her. She may genuinely need to be fitted for a bigger or better everyday bra. You could bring it up if ye are talking about clothes, and maybe just mention it as if you've just only noticed it.

If she's wearing those balcony-style push-up bras or corset-style tops on nights out, unless she is LITERALLY falling out of them, I'd keep schtum...is there a reason it bothers you so much?

ABajaninCork

I'd find a way of tactfully telling her. Sounds to me like she need to drop a size in the back and go up a size or two in the cup. There's nothing worse than women going round in ill-fitting bras. The 'three boobed' look is not a good one especially if she's wearing tight-fitting or low-cut tops! I read somewhere that as many as 80% of women are wearing the wrong bra size...

Having an ill-fitting bra actually does more harm than good. I speak from experience being a larger-chested woman. Why don't you suggest going undie shopping with her? Steer her in the way of a store with decent bra fitters, suggest she gets her size checked before she buys a bra she likes and off you go.

Could you give more details?

If she's a close friend, you should have just been able to mention it without the weirdness. Since you do feel weird about it, I don't think the conversation would go well.

I can't imagine that her bra could be that small that you'd consider writing her an anonymous note. That would be incredibly humiliating for her, to feel like there's something so wrong with her appearance that no one could face her to say it. Are you sure you're not just a bit miffed that she's wearing a bra too small for her and she's still getting compliments?

LegacyUser

thanks guys, its not ridiculously obvious now. Shes not spilling all over the place(shes smallish). Its moreso whether she should know for her own comfort (too tight), squishyness and that they are kind of too high up to look natural. They look kind of flat on front. None of this is excessive mind.

<Mod Snip - removing images OP, NSFW in the text does not make it Ok to post these here, by the time someone were to read NSFW the images would already be open. - for bevity though - some top and side spillage, not a huge amount>


The guys thing doesnt bother me. It honestly doesnt because theres a reason guys feel free to tell me such things Id be more into comort. They were just telling me to find out whether she was single :P It bothers me because shes a friend but I dont want to upset her nor do I want someone to notice like I did and snear at her.

Emme

idunno# wrote: »

The guys thing doesnt bother me. It honestly doesnt because theres a reason guys feel free to tell me such things Id be more into comort. They were just telling me to find out whether she was single :P It bothers me because shes a friend but I dont want to upset her nor do I want someone to notice like I did and snear at her.

Are you sure you're acting out of concern for your friend or are you jealous of the attention she's getting and won't admit it to yourself?

If you are not a trained bra fitter you won't know exactly what size bra your friend should take. So next time you go shopping with your friend go to Arnotts or somewhere you can both be measured for a good fitting bra. You might not be wearing the right size either - apparently 80% of women are wearing the wrong size bra.

Faith

I'm amazed by the responses saying don't tell her. Badly fitting bras can cause physical damage, such as damage to your back from lack of support, damage to shoulders from carrying the weight of the breasts and breast tissue migration from being squashed every day.

Most women are wearing the wrong bra size because shops are still peddling the +4 inches to the band size method. I'm going to quote myself here:

Most shops use the +4 method, which is very inaccurate now because bras are no longer completely rigid - they have serious stretch. So for the best fit, it's unnecessary to add inches to your band size, but shops haven't copped on to this yet.

Anyone who is unsure about measuring themselves should follow this guide: http://www.reddit.com/r/ABraThatFits/wiki/fit_guide and these detailed instructions: http://i.imgur.com/tgrX4zO.png

It's a revelation when you wear the real right size!

What I recommend is that you measure yourself and figure out your real size. Then tell your friend what happened and recommend she try the same. When she does, her bra size that she should be wearing will sound way bigger than what she's wearing now, so she will probably be inclined to buy the bigger size. Let's say she wears a 34B and when she measures herself properly, it comes out as a 30DD. She'll be well impressed and likely to try on properly fitting bras to see if they actually fit.

On the other hand, if she measures herself but still prefers how it looks with the smaller bra, then that's her choice and you have to drop it.

If nothing else, direct her to that subreddit quoted about. Pretend you've just discovered it and think it's great, if you like. It completely changed my view of bra fitting!

R.D. aka MR.D

By your description, i would leave her be especially if you guys are young.

When i was in my younger days, i had a bra that i would wear on nights out that was too small because in all honestly, it made me look better (or so i thought )

Yes, it can cause problems but i don't really think that it's your place to tell her.

Bernice101

if u think she is letting herself down by dressing badly, certainly mention it, but in a tactful manner. just make sure she isn't hearing it when she is dressed in this manner in public, i.e. approach it when she's at home in tracksuit or something else casual. tell her if u were wearing something horrific ude hope she'd tell u. many posters have made good suggestions re undies shopping ect.

Being a true friend is about honesty. My friends would always tell me if something im wearing doesn't match, is trashy or whatever. And I love them for it.

If people are thinking it (bra too small) someone needs to tell her, and that's what friends are for. And if that's the look she's going for, good for her