Worried sick about going back to work on Monday. need advice please :(

QueenBee1

i am worried sick all weekend about going back to work Monday i cant get it out of my head. I have been with a company for the past 2 years and recently accepted a new role in the company and began working with a team of 3 plus one supervisor. I used to work on my own and now I am working in a call centre environment and I am finding it hard to adjust to the noise levels and people all around me etc. On Firday I had a particularly bad day and took it out on some colleagues. there is one guy in particular I find so rude because he has a bad habit of coming in to our office and standing behind someone when they are on a call looking at what they are doing. On Friday evening we were so busy he came in to check something that he already knew because he saw it on his own system but was hanging around observing what we were doing for his own information that I asked him could he not see what he wanted to check on his own computer. He didnt give me a straight answer for ages but then admitted he could and I said well why is he here then. He left but I felt so bad after I sent him a msg on FB last night to apologise but he never replied.

Also, since everyone on the team is new i have the most background experience and while I dont mind helping the new guys they are always coming to me with queries when they should be going to their manager. They had over a week of training and I feel like I am doing their job and my own. then my supervisor keeps coming to me with everything. He asked me to phone another manager (who is in a bad way at the moment as she has been made redundant and he has taken her role) he should be doing this himself. Then he asked me to take responsibility for an order of items we need but I snapped at him "can you order them" and he said "I have stuff to do ya know". i explained I have enough responsibilities at the moment which I do and didnt want the responsibility and he said well it comes with the job. I have no problem taking direction but feel like everything is at my door. 10 minutes later he sends another girl out to me to ask me to fix a printer for him which I have no idea of so I told her he needed to ask IT.

But now after it all I feel so bad for the way I spoke to people in particular the guy who came in to check the a/c that I am worried sick about Monday. I feel like such a horrible person. Can anyone see where I am coming from or am I been too much of a drama queen?

CaraMay

You sound stressed but you have to control it and be professional in the work place. Can you take some time off to chill?

QueenBee1

CaraMay wrote: »

You sound stressed but you have to control it and be professional in the work place. Can you take some time off to chill?

Yes I am Im just finding it hard to adjust. Do you think everything will be ok on Monday? I am nearly in tears with worry because i dont want to have bad blood with anyone or get in trouble. I sound like a kid but I dont

Big Bag of Chips

Honestly, I think it'll be all forgotten about. You can be absolutely certain that your colleagues are not thinking about it, you or work tonight, so you should try to do likewise.

Go in on Monday and start a clean slate. There is no harm standing up for yourself, and maybe if you feel everything is falling at your door you can make an appointment to have a chat with your manager/supervisor during the week.

There's no point in you trying to deal with loads of extra stuff if there are others around equally capable of taking on some of the responsibility.

It's always difficult when you find yourself being the "go to" person. But your manager/supervisor should be able to help you out with it, and share the load.

QueenBee1

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

Honestly, I think it'll be all forgotten about. You can be absolutely certain that your colleagues are not thinking about it, you or work tonight, so you should try to do likewise.

Go in on Monday and start a clean slate. There is no harm standing up for yourself, and maybe if you feel everything is falling at your door you can make an appointment to have a chat with your manager/supervisor during the week.

There's no point in you trying to deal with loads of extra stuff if there are others around equally capable of taking on some of the responsibility.

It's always difficult when you find yourself being the "go to" person. But your manager/supervisor should be able to help you out about, and share the load.

thank you for your reply. I am crying at the minute typing this because I am so worried about it all I dont know why. My supervisor is also one of these people who is giving me everything and when I confronted him his response is "well responsibilities come with the job". I dont want to look like an eejit and a cry baby but I just want to go in do my work that I have been assigneed but its so hard with everyone talking and walking in and out giving you stuff

ElleEm

I used to work in a call centre, and know how that noisiness can get to you. You will almost certainly get used to it. In regards to people hanging around your work station while you are working, can you mute your call briefly and ask the person to wait *over there and you will be with them when you are ready? Or if there is one culprit, you could speak to them in a calm way and say that you find it very distracting being interrupted whilst in a call/ in the middle of a task.

You are clearly finding it hard adjusting to the team mentality, so allow yourself time to adapt, but you also need to be TRYING to make things work for you. Being unprofessional and "snapping" at people won't do you any favours, nor will moaning about being given work by your manager. As the more experienced member of staff, I would see it only natural that you would help newer members of staff. If it is interfering with your ability to do your own job, then simply tell them that you are busy, and redirect them to their manager.

Big Bag of Chips

QueenBee1 wrote: »

My supervisor is also one of these people who is giving me everything...

But does he realise how much everyone else is looking for you to help them, too? I do agree that as the person who is there the longest you automatically become the person that everyone goes to. This is why you need to speak to your supervisor and/or manager and let them know that you are happy to help anyone but the problem is you physically can't do everything that everyone is asking you to do.

You obviously are very stressed, and the stress is leading to everything getting on top of you. Some of these things in isolation wouldn't really bother you. It's just that they are all happening together and upsetting you.

Write it out, on a piece of paper, ready to bring in to work on Monday. Writing things down helps to clear them from our head. Once you have it written down and have your plan in place for Monday, you can then be more relaxed about it.

Nobody should have to spend their weekend worrying about work. You're not getting paid enough to have work consume your weekends. If you organise your thoughts, get them down on paper, and have a plan for next week, then you will be calmer and feel like you are taking control of it rather than having it run away from you.

QueenBee1

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

But does he realise how much everyone else is looking for you to help them, too? I do agree that as the person who is there the longest you automatically become the person that everyone goes to. This is why you need to speak to your supervisor and/or manager and let them know that you are happy to help anyone but the problem is you physically can't do everything that everyone is asking you to do.

You obviously are very stressed, and the stress is leading to everything getting on top of you. Some of these things in isolation wouldn't really bother you. It's just that they are all happening together and upsetting you.

Write it out, on a piece of paper, ready to bring in to work on Monday. Writing things down helps to clear them from our head. Once you have it written down and have your plan in place for Monday, you can then be more relaxed about it.

Nobody should have to spend their weekend worrying about work. You're not getting paid enough to have work consume your weekends. If you organise your thoughts, get them down on paper, and have a plan for next week, then you will be calmer and feel like you are taking control of it rather than having it run away from you.

Thank you so much for your advice you have put me at ease. I have planned to apologise on Monday and explain how I feel and felt at the time and just keep my head down from now on

fermanagh_man

Arrive into work Monday with some muffins, scones etc

Get the week off to a positive start

Zen65

QueenBee1 wrote: »

But now after it all I feel so bad for the way I spoke to people in particular the guy who came in to check the a/c that I am worried sick about Monday. I feel like such a horrible person. Can anyone see where I am coming from or am I been too much of a drama queen?

You may be a little too hard on yourself. Everyone has bad days, and your colleagues will accept this if you do not continue to be snappish with them.

Focus on your own core activities for a while. If you are asked to do something to help somebody else try and assess the relative importance of that against your own responsibilities. Remember that you are relatively new to the job, so nobody expects you to have all the answers. You'll be surprised how quickly you will learn to adapt to the noisy environment.

As another poster has already said, start the day on a clean slate. Bringing in scones is a good idea for many reasons, not least because it shows you value your colleagues. Don't make this a habit though, or you'll feel put-upon.

If you find yourself under pressure again, don't feel bad about declining to take on extra work, but do be sure to decline in a manner which is not rude or abrupt. You can refuse while still being pleasant, and explaining that you are currently under a bit too much pressure to take on extra work. The reality is that in a few weeks your ability to do more will naturally increase.

Be at peace,

Z

Taltos

OP hate to say it but is sounds like you and I work for the same company.

If that's the case then the advice of going in tomorrow with some treats and a big fake grin on your face is the way to play this.

In terms of how to proceed - few ideas.

1. The Lurker: Be straight up with him, big smile again. "Hi there Mark - sorry for sending you that message out of hours. Hope you understand where I was coming from last week? Nothing personal and I really hope you understand where I was coming from. Just the distraction last week was at a bad time". Then forget about it - don't dwell, don't overstate - move on. However you approached this you were actually in a way right unless he is your supervisor or a higher level manager. Really he shouldn't be hanging around your area distracting the team and if he continues ask him politely to stop or you'll have to speak to your manager as he is impacting productivity.

2. Your Boss: Ok step back and look at what he is asking you. There are a few ways you can look at these requests.
a) He doesn't have a clue and needs help.
b) He trusts you and is trying to give your more responsibility
c) He really is clueless and is a lazy sob.
More than likely it is one of the first two, maybe he doesn't have the training or knowledge for his role. Instead of taking it personally just learn to smile (even when you want to scream) and reply "sure John, but to do that I will have to drop these tasks - is that what you want?" or "I'm swamped right now with these calls, can I get back to you in a few hours once the call levels drop or is there someone else from the team free right now?".

Try to really see this as a positive, as a senior member of the team he is showing his reliance on you, you can accept that with your experience you can help the team and maybe get some recognition for it or if you don't want the extra responsibility just ask him in your one-to-one for help in understanding what is needed from you, be clear you enjoy your job and love helping the customer but these new requests are new to you and without his help you feel like you are going to let everyone down. Maybe he can share these new tasks across the team - eg 1 person responsible for talking to IT/Facilities for printer issues; 1 person responsible for ordering; etc. And even rotate it and cross-train each other. Believe it or not (as someone who hates the way my job keeps changing) sometimes it is the unexpected new request that can lead to something great for you.

Really though, you need to relax here. You were 100% right in talking to the lurker, now maybe not in the tone or what you said, and that might be something to work on. Who knows maybe he was looking for an excuse to strike up a conversation with someone in your team or hates just not chatting to people, but let it go. Offer the olive branch with some biscuits/treats tomorrow and try not to let all of this get ontop of you. If though it keeps building - maybe talk to your GP. In the meantime try and eat well, do some exercise each day - even a 20 minute walk and avoid coffee/tea. But if your stress is still going up in a week or two chat to someone. We all have bad weeks/months sometimes we just need to find a release or a reminder that it is only a job and at the end of the workday you get to come home or do something you love doing - even if it's just running around a video game.

dellas1979

First of all, do not go in Monday (or anymore emailing/facebooking people with apologies) apologising.

You are effectively not in work to be miss popular. I think you are struggling with this in your new role! By all means, be nice, engaging, and friendly to your colleagues. You can still be the cool manager/lead gal, but I would find it very unprofessional to find one of my colleagues (who is my lead) messaging me apologising. Id actually think "hey I know how to push this ones buttons/they cant handle themselves". Suck it up that you are now a lead!

From where you are right now, learn (enough advice above), and go forward, and more importantly, be positive.

One trick I use, is that no matter what you do, give yourself space, especially where there is so many people at you at the one time. It is perfectly OK to say "Ok, Im working on this right now, when Im free in 2/5/10mins Ill sort you". Drill it into yourself.

QueenBee1

Taltos wrote: »

OP hate to say it but is sounds like you and I work for the same company.

If that's the case then the advice of going in tomorrow with some treats and a big fake grin on your face is the way to play this.

In terms of how to proceed - few ideas.

1. The Lurker: Be straight up with him, big smile again. "Hi there Mark - sorry for sending you that message out of hours. Hope you understand where I was coming from last week? Nothing personal and I really hope you understand where I was coming from. Just the distraction last week was at a bad time". Then forget about it - don't dwell, don't overstate - move on. However you approached this you were actually in a way right unless he is your supervisor or a higher level manager. Really he shouldn't be hanging around your area distracting the team and if he continues ask him politely to stop or you'll have to speak to your manager as he is impacting productivity.

2. Your Boss: Ok step back and look at what he is asking you. There are a few ways you can look at these requests.
a) He doesn't have a clue and needs help.
b) He trusts you and is trying to give your more responsibility
c) He really is clueless and is a lazy sob.
More than likely it is one of the first two, maybe he doesn't have the training or knowledge for his role. Instead of taking it personally just learn to smile (even when you want to scream) and reply "sure John, but to do that I will have to drop these tasks - is that what you want?" or "I'm swamped right now with these calls, can I get back to you in a few hours once the call levels drop or is there someone else from the team free right now?".

Try to really see this as a positive, as a senior member of the team he is showing his reliance on you, you can accept that with your experience you can help the team and maybe get some recognition for it or if you don't want the extra responsibility just ask him in your one-to-one for help in understanding what is needed from you, be clear you enjoy your job and love helping the customer but these new requests are new to you and without his help you feel like you are going to let everyone down. Maybe he can share these new tasks across the team - eg 1 person responsible for talking to IT/Facilities for printer issues; 1 person responsible for ordering; etc. And even rotate it and cross-train each other. Believe it or not (as someone who hates the way my job keeps changing) sometimes it is the unexpected new request that can lead to something great for you.

Really though, you need to relax here. You were 100% right in talking to the lurker, now maybe not in the tone or what you said, and that might be something to work on. Who knows maybe he was looking for an excuse to strike up a conversation with someone in your team or hates just not chatting to people, but let it go. Offer the olive branch with some biscuits/treats tomorrow and try not to let all of this get ontop of you. If though it keeps building - maybe talk to your GP. In the meantime try and eat well, do some exercise each day - even a 20 minute walk and avoid coffee/tea. But if your stress is still going up in a week or two chat to someone. We all have bad weeks/months sometimes we just need to find a release or a reminder that it is only a job and at the end of the workday you get to come home or do something you love doing - even if it's just running around a video game.

Thank you for all your advice. I will definitely take it on board and after spending the whole weekend at home worrying I have learned my lesson to be more patient and pleasant. Its not their fault they are one of many coming to me but they are not to know that, the fault lies with and I need to be more professional

QueenBee1

dellas1979 wrote: »

First of all, do not go in Monday (or emailing/facebooking people with apologies) apologising.

You are effectively not in work to be miss popular. I would find this very unprofessional to find one of my colleagues (who is my lead) messaging me apologising. Id actually think "hey I know how to push this ones buttons/they cant handle themselves". Suck it up that you are now a lead!

From where you are right now, learn (enough advice above), and go forward, and more importantly, be positive.

One trick I use, is that no matter what you do, give yourself space, especially where there is so many people at you at the one time. It is perfectly OK to say "Ok, Im working on this right now, when Im free in 2/5/10mins Ill sort you". Drill it into yourself.

I was going to apologise to my new boss and explain how I felt at the time so he wouldnt think im a right b*&^ and try get back in his good books, not a good idea?

dellas1979

QueenBee1 wrote: »

I was going to apologise to my new boss and explain how I felt at the time so he wouldnt think im a right b*&^ and try get back in his good books, not a good idea?

No - I dont think its a good idea. I would be more impressed to see that you came back, got stuck in and handled yourself/learn how to handle yourself better.

You are making this personal with your boss and colleagues "how I felt". And you are calling yourself names. And bigging all this up in your head. Take out the emotion. Stop beating yourself up. Go in there tomorrow. Good morning all. Smile. Into the job.

Now, if your boss chooses to say something to you about it (and I doubt it), then explain. But you are making yourself worry (worried sick) about something that hasnt happened.

PS: As before, stop emailing/apologising to people. You made a mistake in dealing with things because you felt overwhelmed. It is more important you figure out a way to control that. Sometimes when Im overwhelmed, I just get up, and go get a glass of water. No one knows am possibly in a muddle over something. Am just going to get a glass of water. But really Im looking after myself so that I can do a better job. Thats one way how I deal with overload/multitasking situations.

IrishEyes19

Hi OP, this is going to sound a little harsh but I think it's fair.

You completely broke the boundry of professionalism by apologising over facebook to your colleague, I understand why you did it, but you should leave all that to the work place, take them aside on lunch break or if you have a spare 5 minutes and do it there.

Secondly, you need to handle your stress levels a bit better. You can get your point across without being snappy and slightly "bi***chy. I know it sounds unfair but you over stepped it.

Now finally about tomorrow. do not bring in any cakes or whatever, it looks weak and it looks like you have done something wrong. But get on with your work, if you have issue with one colleague, sort it out with them privately, dont lose the plot in the office for everyone to see. And tomorrow turn over a new leaf.

I know you have a lot on your plate, but look we all started out somewhere in a new job and a weeks induction may seem easy to you since you are well on in your job, but for new kids on the block, its daunting, I remember my first few weeks in a new job, I was shy where to go, unsure if I should be in one place or the other. So give the guys a break. If they are really bugging you, why not show them ONCE how to do the job properly or explain to the manager they should be reporting to, that you are swamped at the moment, and that the new employees arent sure who to report to. Its a polite way of saying. look I'm doing your job here.

Just re-structure your way of dealing with people and you will find yourself with a lot less stress, otherwise you will have a lot of enemies.

QueenBee1

Will I speak to my manager in the morning and apologise and explain or just leave it?

CaraMay

QueenBee1 wrote: »

Will I speak to my manager in the morning and apologise and explain or just leave it?

Leave it and start afresh with a more tolerant attitude

dellas1979

QueenBee1 wrote: »

Will I speak to my manager in the morning and apologise and explain or just leave it?

Well, after numerous posts telling you no - best not to, and reasons why..........if you are still asking that question, sure........

kjl

QueenBee1 wrote: »

thank you for your reply. I am crying at the minute typing this because I am so worried about it all I dont know why. My supervisor is also one of these people who is giving me everything and when I confronted him his response is "well responsibilities come with the job". I dont want to look like an eejit and a cry baby but I just want to go in do my work that I have been assigneed but its so hard with everyone talking and walking in and out giving you stuff

I read your OP and it doesn't sound that bad at all. In fact it sounds like this new manager is putting a lot of pressure on you. I've had a lot worse things happen to me in my job and I was so worried about it, but everything passes.

In the words of Van Wilder, worrying is like sitting in a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere.

Stavro Mueller

To be honest, the bigger a deal you make out of this, the bigger the rod you're making for your own back. You'd swear you'd had a massive screaming meltdown in the middle of the office floor by the way you're going on. You had a bad day, you got stressed and you snapped at some people. So what? Get over it. People will make allowances for someone getting stressed just so long as it doesn't happen on a regular basis.

What you need to do is make sure there isn't a repeat of what happened on Friday. If you feel there is too much work being piled onto you, have a word with your supervisor. Don't be afraid to tell someone that you'll get back to them in a few minutes. Sometimes in my job I feel like I'm being pulled in 5 different directions at the same time. So I write down what I have to do. And if I feel stressed I step out of the office for a few minutes to clear my head.

LegacyUser

IrishEyes19 wrote: »

Hi OP, this is going to sound a little harsh but I think it's fair.

You completely broke the boundry of professionalism by apologising over facebook to your colleague, I understand why you did it, but you should leave all that to the work place, take them aside on lunch break or if you have a spare 5 minutes and do it there.

Secondly, you need to handle your stress levels a bit better. You can get your point across without being snappy and slightly "bi***chy. I know it sounds unfair but you over stepped it.

Now finally about tomorrow. do not bring in any cakes or whatever, it looks weak and it looks like you have done something wrong. But get on with your work, if you have issue with one colleague, sort it out with them privately, dont lose the plot in the office for everyone to see. And tomorrow turn over a new leaf.

I know you have a lot on your plate, but look we all started out somewhere in a new job and a weeks induction may seem easy to you since you are well on in your job, but for new kids on the block, its daunting, I remember my first few weeks in a new job, I was shy where to go, unsure if I should be in one place or the other. So give the guys a break. If they are really bugging you, why not show them ONCE how to do the job properly or explain to the manager they should be reporting to, that you are swamped at the moment, and that the new employees arent sure who to report to. Its a polite way of saying. look I'm doing your job here.

Just re-structure your way of dealing with people and you will find yourself with a lot less stress, otherwise you will have a lot of enemies.

Totally agree with this. Hopefully you are lucky, and have very sound colleagues who will forgive your majorly unwarranted outburst. But really, you need to modify your behaviour sharp ish, and be a lot more professional.

You've been promoted to a more senior position - the reason you've been promoted is to educate juniors, and deal with problems. Your behaviour atm is just screaming 'you promoted the wrong person'. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh - but you really need to deal with it and move on, sharp ish.

Tbh, if you don't want the responsibility of your role, then say so, and accept the lower salary and no promotion prospects. If you do want it; then grow up.

QueenBee1

What do you want? wrote: »

Totally agree with this. Hopefully you are lucky, and have very sound colleagues who will forgive your majorly unwarranted outburst. But really, you need to modify your behaviour sharp ish, and be a lot more professional.

You've been promoted to a more senior position - the reason you've been promoted is to educate juniors, and deal with problems. Your behaviour atm is just screaming 'you promoted the wrong person'. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh - but you really need to deal with it and move on, sharp ish.

Tbh, if you don't want the responsibility of your role, then say so, and accept the lower salary and no promotion prospects. If you do want it; then grow up.

I am not in a supervisory role and I am on the lower salary !!!

QueenBee1

Boss called me in today and said I was quiet abrupt on Friday so I explained and he said it was ok it happens us all so he has delegated some tasks to some of the others now!