Caught father watching an adult channel...

LegacyUser

... that old chestnut! To be clear, I don't believe it's a problem my father has. Usually at the weekend, (Friday and Saturday), he does be the last up watching the telly. I've come close to realising this once or twice, (the next morning the channel in question comes up first on the box when you turn the TV on). And I was positive one time I caught him about to purchase a certain kind of film on the Sky box office feature. (He maintains he was falling asleep and randomly hit a few buttons).

Just to also note, I'm not out to catch him. Just naturally some of us do still be up and walking in and out of the living room.

Caught him there watching something, confirming my earlier suspicions - clearly awake! Is it wrong to be weirded out by this? Worried a young sibling might catch him? Not to mention my mother! :-S

ted1

MortoSon wrote: »

... that old chestnut! To be clear, I don't believe it's a problem my father has. Usually at the weekend, (Friday and Saturday), he does be the last up watching the telly. I've come close to realising this once or twice, (the next morning the channel in question comes up first on the box when you turn the TV on). And I was positive one time I caught him about to purchase a certain kind of film on the Sky box office feature. (He maintains he was falling asleep and randomly hit a few buttons).

Just to also note, I'm not out to catch him. Just naturally some of us do still be up and walking in and out of the living room.

Caught him there watching something, confirming my earlier suspicions - clearly awake! Is it wrong to be weirded out by this? Worried a young sibling might catch him? Not to mention my mother! :-S

Congrats on realising that your Dad is a normal adult

The_Conductor

Whats the issue? It is your dad's prerogative to do as he chooses. It is not your job to try and make his life a misery. Give the guy a break.

Chattastrophe!

Leave him at it. If he's watching TV alone late at night, maybe avoid going into the room, and encourage your younger siblings to do the same ... everyone's entitled to their bit of space and privacy.

I don't know why you'd feel 'weirded out' by this. Your father has a sex drive, same as you or anyone else ... otherwise how exactly do you think you got here?

The Pheasant2

Fairly standard for a lot of guys, no need to feel weird about it - maybe if you need to go into him but are worried he's on the channel make a good bit of noise pretending to be doing stuff in the hallway before walking in - that'll give him a chance to "adjust" himself and the channel

MissFlitworth

If by weirded out you mean in a 'yuck, yuck, gross don't want to think about you doing that' than that's normal but if you mean that you're going to challenge and give out to him over it because you've caught him doing something 'wrong' then yeah that's not on. Although he does need to develop a bit of cop on/discretion which might be aided by a conversation that somehow includes the fact that the last channel someone has on at night is still on in the morning

MagicMarker

Op, do you masturbate?

Good, well so does your dad.

FaganJr

It's his house, his tv, his subscription,his rules. Until your paying the bills then you can make the rules, until then mind your own business. He's a normal guy and your mother is an adult also who wouldn't be shocked by this. It is you who is showing total immaturity by your behavior.
Don't like it move out.

gerrybbadd

Exactly as has already been said. Give the guy a break.

Lacerda

MortoSon wrote: »

... that old chestnut! To be clear, I don't believe it's a problem my father has. Usually at the weekend, (Friday and Saturday), he does be the last up watching the telly. I've come close to realising this once or twice, (the next morning the channel in question comes up first on the box when you turn the TV on). And I was positive one time I caught him about to purchase a certain kind of film on the Sky box office feature. (He maintains he was falling asleep and randomly hit a few buttons).

Just to also note, I'm not out to catch him. Just naturally some of us do still be up and walking in and out of the living room.

Caught him there watching something, confirming my earlier suspicions - clearly awake! Is it wrong to be weirded out by this? Worried a young sibling might catch him? Not to mention my mother! :-S

Hi.

Wow! Awkward. But it's a natural thing. Yes I'd be concerned if a younger sibling were to walk in on him. I wouldn't envy you but you may have to chat with him about it. Maybe tell him to switch channels before turning off TV last thing at night. I believe you when you say you're not out to catch him, as no one should have to deal with such a mortifying experience.
Men (myself being no exception) are incredibly visual creatures and although it is bit strictly wrong per se to enjoy adult movies it can be very damaging for the psyche particularly in younger males as it distorts their view of sex, and more worryingly of women.
Like I said, I do not envy you, however I think the chat needs to be had as there is a risk that younger ones might be exposed to this.
I hope this helps. And good luck.

Lacerda

Lacerda

The_Conductor wrote: »

Whats the issue? It is your dad's prerogative to do as he chooses. It is not your job to try and make his life a misery. Give the guy a break.

And if a younger sibling were to walk in on him, or to switch telly on and the last channel was playing. I think you have entirely missed the point the poster was trying to make.
Sure it's perfectly natural to enjoy having fantasies and stuff. But there is a time and a place for everything, and call me old fashioned but the living room while there's a chance your children might walk in is not exactly appropriate is it???

Howard Juneau

Lacerda wrote: »

And if a younger sibling were to walk in on him, or to switch telly on and the last channel was playing. I think you have entirely missed the point the poster was trying to make.
Sure it's perfectly natural to enjoy having fantasies and stuff. But there is a time and a place for everything, and call me old fashioned but the living room while there's a chance your children might walk in is not exactly appropriate is it???

Or the bedroom where he's giving his wife one & a child walks in.
The parent does it late at night when all are in bed...except the OP

Neyite

Howard Juneau wrote: »

You could always sit down and challenge him to a race. A bit of father/son bonding over a shared interest

Genuine Advice only on this forum please. Read the charter before posting again.

Taltos

Actually OP I am taking a different view to the others.
I have no idea how old you or your sibling are - and that to me in the key factor here.

Yes your father is a sexual being (thank god) but as a father he bears a responsibility to shelter you and your younger sibling.
In terms of your mother finding it - really that is not something you need to worry about. Hopefully both of your parents have spoken about this and are in agreement. I have seen a marriage break up on just this point where the father was so obsessed with sex he ignored his primary role as a father and has now lost his whole family.

I don't know your age but maybe try once more talking to your dad - not accusing him - but asking him to ensure that before he goes to bed at night the SKY box is reset to say RTE. If he ignores your or turns belligerent then maybe chat with your mum. Remember you have no rights to tell your parents what they should do but you can remind them that they should try to protect your younger sibling from that type of content for as long as possible.

iusedtoknow

How old are you OP? Do you ever take a look a porn?
If you do, at what age do you expect to stop? To suddenly have no interest in it?
How do you know your mother has no idea about it? You are not part of their marriage, you are a product of it - a very different thing.

I would need to agree with the general tone of the opinions above, get over it - your dad is taking a few precautions, waiting till everyone is in bed at night etc.

Overheal

As long as he's not whipping out his junk where people can see it I don't see the tragedy here. My old man once turned on that late night softcore euro stuff while his 3 sons and his daughter sat at the living room table playing poker. He was kinda drunk, we found it amusing. And no, he wasn't doing anything icky.

Cork selfbuild

Taltos wrote: »

Yes your father is a sexual being (thank god) but as a father he bears a responsibility to shelter you and your younger sibling.
In terms of your mother finding it - really that is not something you need to worry about. Hopefully both of your parents have spoken about this and are in agreement. I have seen a marriage break up on just this point where the father was so obsessed with sex he ignored his primary role as a father and has now lost his whole family.

I don't know your age but maybe try once more talking to your dad - not accusing him - but asking him to ensure that before he goes to bed at night the SKY box is reset to say RTE. If he ignores your or turns belligerent then maybe chat with your mum. Remember you have no rights to tell your parents what they should do but you can remind them that they should try to protect your younger sibling from that type of content for as long as possible.

I totally agree that he has a responsibility to ensure that younger members of the family are not exposed to this, and that's where yes having the chat with him about putting channel 101 on before he switches off, but akward none the less but a friendly no issues chat.

However I wouldn't be so sure that he has spoken about it with his wife, and wouldn't possibly recommend if he doesn't take heed to your advice talking to your mother, this may open a whole different can of worms that could lead to a really negative family environment, I would err on the side of caution here.

If he ignores what you say, you could always change the parental access pin in the settings, saying you put it on because little jimmy had this channel on in the morning instead of the cartoon network (don't know how young siblings are) that way he will surely get the message and protecting the family, however what your dad does in his own house is really up to him in relation to watching it late at night...

IrishEyes19

Jesus, give the OP a break. I'd be completely freaked out if I walked in on anyone in a house I live in doing that. I'm sorry now, yes people have needs, yes men and women are sexual, and there is nothing wrong with it. But guess what if you have children in a house and you choose to watch such videos in a public living area, at least have the cop on to turn it off and remove the evidence of it. I don't care how modern or open the world has become, no child should have to see that. Clean up after yourself. For god's sake.

OP, I would speak to him about leaving it out in the open. I wouldnt worry about your mother. I'm sure she knows. But I certainly think he should be a lot more careful about the younger kids. I dont agree with posters saying they wouldnt be up at that time. I had a habit when I was younger to come down stairs for a glass of water, or even if I couldnt sleep to read in the sitting room. they could well have seen it but I cant see them running to your mother asking what it was either. How you will approach him I dont know, but I can appreciate your concern over it.

IrishEyes19

Overheal wrote: »

As long as he's not whipping out his junk where people can see it I don't see the tragedy here. My old man once turned on that late night softcore euro stuff while his 3 sons and his daughter sat at the living room table playing poker. He was kinda drunk, we found it amusing. And no, he wasn't doing anything icky.

With all due respect and I wouldn't be a prude. I don't think there is anything amusing about that. Time and a place for everything.

ScottStorm

It is 2013, apparently not in the prudish world that some posters are living in. If you can't handle that your dad watches His TV late at night maybe get him a smartphone for Xmas and introduce him to youjizz.com and the bathroom.

The Corinthian

Children have been accidentally walking in on their parents while they're having sex, or finding their dad's porn collection or their mum's toy collection or whatever for a very, very long time. All it means is that you've realized that your father has, like the vast majority of Homo Sapians, a sex drive. Other than that you've not objectively described anything that could conceivably be a problem.

You were going to have to come to grips with that reality sooner or later - just like realizing that Santa doesn't exist. Congrats; another rite of passage over. Now stop brooding over it and get on with the rest of your life.

Just be happy you weren't born in a time when most families tended to sleep in the same room.

Stavro Mueller

You didn't say what age your younger sibling is? I'd imagine that most people from their mid-teens and upwards would be adult enough to understand that watching porn is something that grown-ups do. But if he/she is 9 or 10 much younger, then it's another matter entirely. In that case you'd probably need to have a word with your dad. Hopefully he has just become a bit lax when it comes to covering his tracks.

The Corinthian

cymbaline wrote: »

But if he/she is 9 or 10 much younger, then it's another matter entirely.

Given that this is something that occurs only when his father is the last one still up, I'd be more concerned that the younger sibling is still up at that age.

Stavro Mueller

MortoSon wrote: »

... that old chestnut! To be clear, I don't believe it's a problem my father has. Usually at the weekend, (Friday and Saturday), he does be the last up watching the telly. I've come close to realising this once or twice, (the next morning the channel in question comes up first on the box when you turn the TV on). And I was positive one time I caught him about to purchase a certain kind of film on the Sky box office feature. (He maintains he was falling asleep and randomly hit a few buttons).

Just to also note, I'm not out to catch him. Just naturally some of us do still be up and walking in and out of the living room.

Caught him there watching something, confirming my earlier suspicions - clearly awake! Is it wrong to be weirded out by this? Worried a young sibling might catch him? Not to mention my mother! :-S

I'd imagine he's more worried about the young sibling getting up on a Saturday or Sunday morning and being the first one to turn on the TV when dad has been lax.

LegacyUser

Unless your Dad is exposing pre-teens / teens to his viewing habits, it's noone if your business. Especially as you seem to be living in his house!

Maybe your use of the word 'caught' him wasn't really what you meant: it sounds like you need to back off and learn how adults deal with boundaries though. Frm my reading of your post, you are v v out of line