Am I missing out?

Ande1975

Hi,

Apologies if this is in the wrong forum but I am interested to know if there are others like me out there.
I'm a single late 30s female with 3 siblings (two older and one younger) who all happen to live abroad. They have families and well, due to various different reasons don't get to come home very often.
My parents are still alive and I live about 3 hours drive from them. I make an effort to go home every 3-4 weeks and spend time with them which I enjoy.
I guess there are a few things which struck me recently. I have friends (not as many available as before as they are married) and the single ones spend a lot of time with their own respective siblings/nieces/nephews etc who live nearby. I feel like I am missing out on all that. Mine moved away a long time so we wouldn't be very close but I often feel like I am an only child.
I know my parents would love to see their grandkids more often but it just doesn't happen.
I think if my siblings were living back in Ireland, I would have made more of an effort to meet someone and settle down but I've become so used to my life now, I find the thought exhausting now.
I spend every Christmas with my parents and I meet up with my friends but when the day comes, what do I do? I've fantasies of heading off somewhere sunny and lying on a beach but I can't help but wonder what will become of our family once they are gone.
I guess I feel like I am existing in a way but when they are home and I spent time with them, I really enjoy the company and love the big family dinners and I didn't realise how much I missed them.
Often friends invite me to their family get togethers but its not the same. I have seen one of my brothers only twice in the past 7 years.
I guess, I am wondering is, is there anyone else in the same boat as me and what did you do?
Also I feel a tremedous amount of guilt if I don't spend time with my parents. I know they miss the company too.
Thanks for reading.
A

wats the craic

I am a only child myself it can be very lonely at time s. work on the farm so don't meet many people expect the lads lookin for money ... still wit folks so I kinda no wat ya mean all my friends are settled or married , and I anm kinda drifting through life . would like to meet someone but I think at this stage don't think it will ever happen .

Amirani

Hi Ande1975, I'm moving your thread to personal issues. I think you'll probably get more better responses there.

Typer Monkey

I find it interesting that you say if your extended family was around that you would have made more of an effort to meet a partner. I would have thought that the opposite should be the case. In other words being alone without family might have spurred you on to find someone for company. Not that I'm suggesting that someone shouldn't be single, I'm just wondering what your rational for that statement/belief is.

You are only in your late 30s, you're speaking like your life has passed you by. There's so much of it ahead of you. Would you like to meet somebody? If so, what are doing to increase the chances of that happening?

Ande1975

Typer Monkey wrote: »

I find it interesting that you say if your extended family was around that you would have made more of an effort to meet a partner. I would have thought that the opposite should be the case. In other words being alone without family might have spurred you on to find someone for company. Not that I'm suggesting that someone shouldn't be single, I'm just wondering what your rational for that statement/belief is.

You are only in your late 30s, you're speaking like your life has passed you by. There's so much of it ahead of you. Would you like to meet somebody? If so, what are doing to increase the chances of that happening?

Thanks for your reply. I don't really want to talk about meeting someone, no disrespect. I am more interested in hearing people's experiences of being the only 'child' living in Ireland. I spend a lot of time with my parents when at home at the expense sometimes of seeing my own friends. I feel guilty.
Whereas if I had my siblings living in Ireland, we could share the load and spend time together. So many of my friends who are married all live near each other, have Sunday lunch as a family etc. sisters hang out... I feel like I am missing out on that. When the inevitable happens - I feel a sense that my life can really begin. Sorry if I am not making sense but I don't know how else to explain it.